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So my boyfriend and I are planning to go to Phoenix at some point to care for his aging father. Awesome guy, really like him. We'll have our own place and plan to completely relocate, Nimbus and all, when we go.
One thing that has me a bit worried...
Bf's Dad has a cat. Her name is Miss Priss. She is estimated to be about 5-7 years old, and this surprises me a lot. She acts like a much older cat. She is standoffish, rather grumpy, and not so nice. At one point, bf's Dad had to go to the emergency room, because he startled her and she bit him very deeply. But Dad loves the cat.
But as part of our eventual purpose in Phoenix will be to handle bf's Dad's estate when he eventually passes...
I am seriously conflicted.
On the one hand, I don't want to have a cat around who will very likely be mean to Nimbus. That's my biggest worry. He's been tormented mercilessly by every other cat he's ever been in contact with, and he really is happiest being the only cat. I don't want him harassed or harmed in his own house. I'm also used to enjoying my own cat's loving, quirky, sweet personality, and I'm not thrilled about having a companion creature who is standoffish at best, and a ticking time bomb of aggression at worst. I know that with careful handling, many aggressive cats can coexist (on their terms!) with people and be ok, for the most part, Dad and Miss Priss have this, but... I really feel like us keeping her will be a bad situation for Nimbus, and I really don't like that.
My boyfriend is not comfortable with her aggressive tendencies, and with some regret over the fact that his father, whom he loves deeply, really cares about this cat, he's expressed that we would consider a shelter.
But the idea of Miss Priss kitty's human dying and then she goes to sit alone in a little cage until she is maybe even put to sleep, really makes me very sad. Even in a no kill shelter (which I would endeavor to find, if that was the situation we were faced with) her odds of adoption don't seem great.
I wish that there were a neighbor or something who would be willing to take her in. Some kind older person with no other animals. But there isn't really such a person on hand.
I just feel like either way, I'm condemning a cat to an unhappy life. Either Nimbus to being likely hurt or Miss Priss to being in a shelter. It sucks. Any advice, anybody? I have time to consider options. I'd like to think about what alternatives, if any, there are.
We tend to worry about things that never happen. So "they" say.
BUT...First, I would take Miss Priss to the vet, while she is still living with your BF's father. She may not be as mean as you think. If she is, she may have a medical issue. At that age, I would think ... teeth.
Could be something as simple as her diet.
Maybe she is lonely, and will welcome a cat buddy?
Many have used defusers. I never have.
There is also Rescue Remedy.
We have 6 cats from alllllll walks of life, and they all get along quite well. Some are buddies. Some are not. They all seem to respect each other's "bubble." There has never been any blood shed or bites.
while it is good to have some plans, Dad may outlive Miss Priss.
I took in my Unlces cat, after he died, & she managed Ok with the cats we already had, but every cat & every situation is different. Maybe take Miss Priss in your home for a weekend, & see how they get on, bearing in mind, cats can take months to be friends.
But if you truly feel Nimbus & her would never got on & you don't like her becasue of past behavior, keep looking for a home. Once you move, you will meet a whole new set of people.
ITA with the advice of taking Miss Priss to the vet. Likely, if her caretaker is ill, she hasn't gotten regular vet care.
It's hard not to look ahead, but I'd advise taking things one step at a time. When your boyfriend's father becomes too ill to care for his kitty, you can then decide what to do.
FWIW, we have four cats, and one dislikes two of the three. But, it works for the most part anyway.
ITA with the advice of taking Miss Priss to the vet. Likely, if her caretaker is ill, she hasn't gotten regular vet care.
It's hard not to look ahead, but I'd advise taking things one step at a time. When your boyfriend's father becomes too ill to care for his kitty, you can then decide what to do.
FWIW, we have four cats, and one dislikes two of the three. But, it works for the most part anyway.
^^This^^
I totally agree with Rene. Get her vet-checked first, then go from there. The behavior you see now may not be set in stone.
I did try to suggest a wet diet, but...I didn't want to be too pushy about it, because I had only just met bf's Dad and I feel he's probably set in his ways. Well you know, maybe I ought to try harder to suggest that. Because she eats dry food, and she throws up a lot. Maybe she doesn't feel well. I will ask about whether she is seen by a vet regularly also.
If it does come to the point of us inheriting a cat, I could give her a trial period, do the gradual intro from different rooms thing, and use diffusers and calming products. Give things their best chance of working out.
I think my deal is that we were in a situation once where Nimbus had to share the house with a mean (socialized that way by stupid people who frankly shouldn't have had animals) female cat, and she chased him everywhere and cornered him and just beat on him. She ate his food (and the little gentleman, he'd totally sit there and let her do it) and he was losing weight. Whenever he left hiding, he was slinking around afraid. Once we ended up resolving that whole situation, he was back to his normal self again. The thought of him being so cowed and abused by another cat in our home again makes me very anxious, you know?
Please push the wet food issue. We went through years of bombs until we switched.
Same here! Maybe bring over some wet food and explain how often/how much to feed.
I can totally relate to being anxious about changes to the kitty household. We've gone through this a number of times at our house. But, despite being anxious, it has always worked out.
You sound like a caring and concerned person. Thumbs up to you for helping in this situation.
Please give kitty a chance to live with you, if it comes to that.
When my mil took her mother's dog home with her to her house full of cats, its personality and weight totally changed with the new situation. It's possible the macaroni and cheese Grandma was feeding it had something to do with that.
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