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So in 2 weeks I am about to embark on my first ever trip to the U.S with my final destination being Charleston where I will stay for 5 weeks. I am from New Zealand and am wondering what I need to know about the area and if I need to be aware of anything. I am a little scared. Help ?
Helpful Tips for the Prevention of Southern Culture Shock
Howdy mate! Welcome to our beautiful Charleston and to South Carolina, the land of dolphins and palm trees!
Here are a few basic tips that will prevent you from suffering a severe culture shock when you are visiting from New Zealand. Follow the rules and you will be a box of fluffy ducks.
1) Most bars (we go to REAL BARS, not French-style alcohol boutiques) and restaurants in Charleston and, for that matter, all over the South will tap you down at the door to check if you have a handgun on you before you are allowed to enter. If you don’t pack one that day, they will provide you with one courtesy of the restaurant. They are concerned for your safety. So, to be prepared, bring along from New Zealand your favorite firearm. Keep it holstered: You will need it several times a day to shoot pesky alligators and snakes that all too frequently take naps in the middle of our roads and are known to take midday strolls around moss-draped, historic Charleston. (It’s sort of like Crocodile Dundee the other way around).
2) Since slavery was only recently abolished in the South, many Charleston plantations still come furnished with slave quarters on their premises.
3) We have cockroaches so big you can throw a saddle on. They are called Palmettos.
4) What is 65 feet long and has three teeth? Hey, bloke! You don’t know? It is the front row of a Willie Nelson (age 80) concert. I beg your pardon? You don’t know who Waylon ‘n Willie are? Better beef up on your country music knowledge real quick before you visit here ‘cause that’s all we listen to. Train your ear with our classic hurtin’ and cheatin’ songs that have long since become Southern anthems: (1) “I wouldn’t take her to a dogfight, even if I thought she could win” (1967); (2) Your wife is cheatin’ on us again” (1981); (3) “I gave her the ring, she gave me the finger” (1967); (4) “I’m the only hell mama ever raised” (1977); (5) “Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life” (1976); (6) “You can eat crackers in my bed anytime” (1980); (7) “Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed” (1972); (8) “If drinkin’ don’t kill me, her memory will” (1981); (9) “This kinda love ain’t meant for Sunday school” (1977).
5) We in the South love hunting and fishing. Only big-city Yankees and tree-hugging Californians love living animals more than dead ones.
6) As in the rest of the 49 U.S. states, we – the residents of South Carolina -- value an open society: Freedom of thought and freedom of expression, tolerance, and acceptance of diversity. But every year our murder rate shoots up in the sweltering heat of our Southern summer months. I can’t tell you why that is coincidental with hoards of loud-mouthed, big-city, foreign-tongued tourists from up North descending upon our genteel, moss-draped Southern sanctuaries on their summer vacation, and all of them acting as subtle as a chainsaw when it comes to voicing their opinions about our Southern ways. I, for one, am very sympathetic with our visitors from up North. They have worked hard all year in Yankee Stadium changing the ice in the men’s locker urinals, and now they are delighting us with their visit, carrying pockets full of play dough to have some summer fun on our lovely, gorgeous beaches. (And would you believe it? Recently some of them even have had the nerve to declare all of us, the residents of venerable Charleston, being the tenth most snooty, arrogant, and conceited citizens in all of the United States. I wonder why? Yes, you guessed correctly, I am an arrogant, unhelpful local myself. I am neither a whiny Northerner nor do I come from England or elsewhere in the UK). But let me get back to my thought above: Of course, just like in your own beautiful New Zealand, we see to it that all our criminals are held accountable for their crimes in our Courts of Law. Our justice system adheres to age-old, tried-and-true Southern traditions and still faithfully proceeds according to the doctrine that legendary Texas judge Roy Bean first laid down, “First we’ll have a fair trial, and then we’ll hang him.”
And here is the greatest, alas, non-stereotypical news for you about us Charlestonians! Time Magazine recently wrote, “Apparently, all the hotties hang out in Charleston, S.C. According to a survey conducted by Travel + Leisure magazine, the southern city is home to the most attractive people in America.” So, here you have the whole truth: All arrogant, but all hot-looking. You really have something to look forward to!
Welcome to South Carolina, mate! Just come, don’t forget your togs, and have fun, as OleTomCat advised you to do! Don’t overanalyze your vacation! Roll with the flow. However, continue to prepare conscientiously for your upcoming trip to the U.S. You can do so either by reading the foreign press or the Northern Press. You can also prepare for your trip to the U.S. by watching Crocodile Dundee again to refresh your memory how the people in our wonderful country are really like.
Here is another immensely helpful piece of advice that a friend of mine, a Southerner from Atlanta, GA, sent in upon reading my advice column (via FB). He writes,
My own addition: If you find a Southerner with a gun in his hand, about to kill you, pretend you need help with something like directions. The Southerner's innate sense of courtesy will overwhelm him. He will drop his gun and call every friend he knows if he can't help you himself.
Well, Charleston is warm during August. There is still a lot to do. The beach is warm, you can go to the Market, and you can go on a carriage ride. What are your interests Laloz?
Be prepared for very hot and humid days with the occasional afternoon thunderstorm. Charlestonians are a very hospitable and friendly people so you will likely enjoy both the charm of our people and our area. There are multiple things to do depending on your likes and activity levels. However, be sure to partake in at least one plantation tour and/or home downtown. In addition, there is the beach, multiple fishing guides if you're so inclined, and plenty of shopping. In a nutshell, you should have no fears coming here and will likely enjoy it as much as other tourists that come to Charleston.
Thanks to everyone who replied and even the funny guy. I'm due there in 5 days and I can't wait to experience the southern hospitality I've been hearing about. As for the good looking people I am sure to blend in my interests are sightseeing music and food
Thanks to everyone who replied and even the funny guy. I'm due there in 5 days and I can't wait to experience the southern hospitality I've been hearing about. As for the good looking people I am sure to blend in my interests are sightseeing music and food
You should go on tripadvisor.com to see the top-rated restaurants and attractions. By the way, extremely jealous you're from New Zealand! That's on my bucket list
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Helpful Tips for the Prevention of Southern Culture Shock
my interests are sightseeing music and food
