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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great cold and snow while Southern Europe is going to be hot; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass and said "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's New Jersey, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, and mountains. The people from New Jersey are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking, and prosperous, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the loudmouthed, obnoxious bastards I'm putting next to them in New York."
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great cold and snow while Southern Europe is going to be hot; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass and said "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's New Jersey, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, and mountains. The people from New Jersey are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking, and prosperous, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the loudmouthed, obnoxious bastards I'm putting next to them in New York."
Pretty good. Though I must say yinz guys have good taste...the number one liscence plate I see in the city proper of Pittsburgh is New Jersey.
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great cold and snow while Southern Europe is going to be hot; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass and said "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's New Jersey, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, and mountains. The people from New Jersey are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking, and prosperous, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the loudmouthed, obnoxious bastards I'm putting next to them in New York."
Nice story, but the truth is that God STARTED the little piece of land now known as New Jersey as an experiment ---- but left it unfinished so as to work on New York and Pennsylvania. Whereas the Devil came and finished the job. I heard the Devil can still be found running around the Pine Barrens some days!
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great cold and snow while Southern Europe is going to be hot; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass and said "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's New Jersey, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, and mountains. The people from New Jersey are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking, and prosperous, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the loudmouthed, obnoxious bastards I'm putting next to them in New York."
As a NYer, I would have to say..... THAT IS FUNNY!
Location: Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
8,900 posts, read 15,981,514 times
Reputation: 1819
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYC1DAY
One day, god felt constipated. He took some laxative and the result was Georgia, South Carolina, Florida and every redneck state in the South
Amen
Wow, he must have really had to go!! LOL
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When the Devil finished New Jersey....
