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So everyone is basically born knowing this stuff? I actually think kids are in college to get an education, not run a household. If you think most 19 yr olds know all about how to run one, you've got another think coming.
My kids could run a "household" if needed. Most of their friends could as well. It's called parenting and expecting them to learn to be an adult. They have had responsibilities from a very early age and have learned along the way to make food, do laundry, grocery shop, budget, etc. It's not rocket science and if they have questions or are not sure about something, they know where to find the answers. Yes, I think most kids that were parented well could EASILY "run a household".
It isn't just College kids that have room mate problems.
I am an older guy (66) living in a two bedroom apartment of about 1,100 square feet. A few months ago I let a 23 year old Female (I'll call her K) and her two year old daughter stay in my extra bedroom after she got evicted from an apartment in my complex (strictly platonic BTW). I had three rules: No drugs, No Smoking and No boy friends sleeping over. No problem for several months until K's two year old got her hands on my weekly pill box and scattered some of the medications. A quick inventory showed two pills missing so as a precaution we called the Poison Control and took the little girl to the emergency room to have her checked out. She was fine but we decided it would be best if K and her daughter moved back to her Mothers.
To backtrack a few weeks earlier a friend of Ks (I'll call her N) had dropped out of college and needed a place to stay. It was OK with me if K was willing to let her sleep on the floor in her room. N moved in and that was the arrangement for several weeks. Then K and her little girl move out. Now N has the other bedroom. Within a few days she broke the rule about sleepovers. I should have said something immediately but I didn't and let it slide. I wasn't getting any rent and no financial assistance at all from N. Hell i was even providing food and beverages for midnight snacks when the boyfriend stayed over. What the heck I have a pretty good income so it was no skin off my nose. This situation goes on for several weeks and I was OK with it BUT sharing an apartment with a beautiful 22 year old Female is not without issues. N had made it clear there was not a snowballs chance in Hell that more than a quick hug was ever going to happen with her. I didn't like the situation but what could a dirty ol' man expect LOL.
Two weeks ago we had several days of really fine weather. I had the motorcycle out and was getting ready to go for a ride when a lady friend (I'll call her M) that lives in the neighborhood asked me if I would give her a ride. She had never been on a motorcycle before. After some quick pointers on how to lean and what to do and what not to do we took off. She loved it. After several hours of riding I took her out to a local Chinese buffet and we had a great meal and conversation. Then we continued riding until it finally got too chilly. Instead of taking her home she stayed over with me. We rode most of the next day also and another sleepover. Even though it was chilly the third day we did go for a short ride to get groceries. By this time it was not just the weather that was chilly. Even though N and I had never done more than a short hug I got the feeling there was an iceberg in the area.
It has been about ten days of cold weather now and the motorcycle has been in the garage and I have been in the doghouse with two Females. M doesn't like to come over when N is in the apartment. N comes out to grab something out of the fridge and goes back to her room and pulls the door shut. N's boyfriend picked her up Friday for a weekend but evidently she gave him the cold treatment and he dropped her off by noon Saturday. M cut short the nice weekend we had planned because she can't stand being around N. In the meantime I am frustrated and just waiting for a break in the weather. Damn I wish life was as simple as it was when I was in College.
GL2
So everyone is basically born knowing this stuff? I actually think kids are in college to get an education, not run a household. If you think most 19 yr olds know all about how to run one, you've got another think coming.
No they aren't born with this stuff. If you think a 19 yr old was just born yesterday, you don't know much about kids or parenting.
There's a knowledge transfer that occurs (or should) between the head of a household (typically parents) and those living in it. I understand that many parents fail their children and raise 19 year old kids instead of 19 year old adults. That's not something to be content with. At 19, one is very capable and these things should be second nature.
My kids could run a "household" if needed. Most of their friends could as well. It's called parenting and expecting them to learn to be an adult. They have had responsibilities from a very early age and have learned along the way to make food, do laundry, grocery shop, budget, etc. It's not rocket science and if they have questions or are not sure about something, they know where to find the answers. Yes, I think most kids that were parented well could EASILY "run a household".
This is a good example of parenting. It amazes me how many parents fail to transfer basic skills to their children over a 19 year period.
My kids could run a "household" if needed. Most of their friends could as well. It's called parenting and expecting them to learn to be an adult. They have had responsibilities from a very early age and have learned along the way to make food, do laundry, grocery shop, budget, etc. It's not rocket science and if they have questions or are not sure about something, they know where to find the answers. Yes, I think most kids that were parented well could EASILY "run a household".
Always with the little digs, eh? You figured it out, I was a terrible parent.
Re: the bold-I take it they're NOT doing that? That you have no experience in what I'm talking about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJBest
This is a good example of parenting. It amazes me how many parents fail to transfer basic skills to their children over a 19 year period.
See above.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJBest
No they aren't born with this stuff. If you think a 19 yr old was just born yesterday, you don't know much about kids or parenting.
There's a knowledge transfer that occurs (or should) between the head of a household (typically parents) and those living in it. I understand that many parents fail their children and raise 19 year old kids instead of 19 year old adults. That's not something to be content with. At 19, one is very capable and these things should be second nature.
Oh, I don't know anything about kids or parenting, do I? How did I manage to raise two, now 25 and 29, who are not living under bridges, in fact, are managing quite well, thank you very much? It is, in fact, my experience with kids this age that makes me feel that an apartment, or house, is a lot of responsibility for kids who are supposed to be getting an education! I just don't think a lot of kids are ready at 19 to deal with all that crap.
You know, if I had a dollar for every time someone made some snarky post like that directed towards me, I could take a friend and myself out for a nice lunch.
No they aren't born with this stuff. If you think a 19 yr old was just born yesterday, you don't know much about kids or parenting.
There's a knowledge transfer that occurs (or should) between the head of a household (typically parents) and those living in it. I understand that many parents fail their children and raise 19 year old kids instead of 19 year old adults. That's not something to be content with. At 19, one is very capable and these things should be second nature.
I thought having a roommate was an important experience to have. I lived in a suite with 3 other guys (2 rooms, shared bathroom). Some of my guys in the other room I got along with, some I didn't. But, you learn to get through it. I was fortunate that even though my roommate and I had absolutely nothing in common we got along fine. We dormed together for 2 years and got an off-campus apartment for 2 years. It was great times.
Even if I had a bad roommate, I don't see the need to coddle college students. If they don't like sharing a dorm, it will be a life lesson. Work hard. Get a good job with good pay so you don't HAVE to share a room/apartment/house with someone else if you don't want to.
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