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So I don't know how to begin my story but the truth is that I am a son of asian immigrant parents. My parents had a heavy heavy say in my life and what interests I would pursue. Now since my parents were paying for my college, I had no choice in my major. I had a choice but my parents said if I do not major in what they want me to major in, they would cut me off.
Due to the way my parents raised me, I lacked a backbone. My dad was a very confrontational and aggressive person who had a way of making me pursue things that I had no interest in. I still remember his roars and barks when he would yell at me for the smallest mistakes and actively killed my self-esteem. As a kid I never really developed into a man in terms of standing up for myself and being independent because my parents practically kept me on a leash.
Well, then college started. My dad was so intrusive in my college career that he would literally put his hands into my academics, have the information such as my email password, and I even had curfews as a college kid. Needless to say, he made me major in something I had no interest in (chemistry) and my grades suffered (currently sitting on a 2.4 GPA).
A lot of it was my fault too, I practically let him sabotage my college grades for the first 2 years without ever sticking up because I never knew kids did that. I never knew how to stick up for myself and tell that monster (excuse the language but I have a lot of anger towards him) to get lost.
Well, eventually I did break away and it took time.
Now I am free, nobody has control on my life but me. I don't see myself being a doctor (lol I blew that goal) but I would like to go somewhere inside of the healthcare field. My interests lie in psychology but I would like to explore more career options that are relevant to the health care field.
Any interest in a business degree? Healthcare MBA would have you working in the healthcare industry.
Psychology is one of these fields where you need education well beyond a Bachelor's degree to be competitive. Do you like the kind of work that entry level psychologists do?
This may be an idea way out in left field, but maybe a few years in the military would give you some interesting life experiences and give you a chance to meet different people and see what you like and don't like. The Army, Navy and Air Force all have health care professions to pursue if that's what you would really like to focus on.
Honestly, as much as it sucks that you have an abusive parent, take heart in the fact that MANY, MANY 21-year olds have absolutely no idea what they want to do with their lives. Even ones who have happily pursued the education of their choice.
Get involved in pursuits that interest you, and see what paths start to become clear.
Any interest in a business degree? Healthcare MBA would have you working in the healthcare industry.
Psychology is one of these fields where you need education well beyond a Bachelor's degree to be competitive. Do you like the kind of work that entry level psychologists do?
This may be an idea way out in left field, but maybe a few years in the military would give you some interesting life experiences and give you a chance to meet different people and see what you like and don't like. The Army, Navy and Air Force all have health care professions to pursue if that's what you would really like to focus on.
thanks and I hope there is more advice here as well
It's funny because I went through the same exact thing. Actually...going though. But it's near the end.
I originally had a different set of career goals and wanted to attend an IVY League college. Except I have a controlling parent that feels I should do what ever she feels fit. It becomes a problem when I ''have'' to do certain things. Emotionally abusive.
What I can recommend is to NEVER sabotage yourself beyond this point. It only hurts yourself. I've done it and am currently paying the heavy price.
One thing you can do is just graduate with a degree and get a good paying job. That way you can always do what you want to do. It's hard to have a backbone when you have to ''respect'' your parents (which is a good thing...but)
I'm curious how close you are to completing your current degree.
1) You should talk to your school's career advisor - they can likely help you with career interest surveys, and tie you in to academic counseling to look at how to either complete your current degree program on the way to pursuing your career interests - or potentially retool with a different program of student altogether (though that tends to mean longer time to degree and more costs).
2) If your parents have cut you off financially, that limits your options a bit. You can talk to a school's financial aid office about what's usually referred to as a 'dependency override' - though the response you get may vary, and they're likely to ask for quite a bit more detail than you've provided here if they think you have a case worth pursuing.
Depending on which school you're attending, an approved override might get you enough federal/state/institutional aid to continue, or it may not. In which case you'd have to look at either taking some time away from school to work, or transferring elsewhere, where you'd have to make a new D/O request, academic plan, etc. etc.
While probably worthwhile to pursue, you're not looking at the easiest of roads. Though sometimes adversity is just what we need to thrive, if Malcolm Gladwell is to believed.
College is about qualification. If I had no idea of what I wanted to do in college, but I knew I could push my self to the extreme limit. I would be an surgeon. A surgeon is an easy job. I have things done to me before; and sometimes the work is grand and other times the work is sloppy below the belt. You just have to prove your educated enough ( the four main subjects ), then when they put you into the working enviorment; show that you are educated enough. Know your work.
That is all I can say. Their is something for everybody.
Most people get fearful of not getting any work; when they leave college. That is because some jobs need portfolios. Which is terrible to put together.
Everybody needs and educator.
Everybody needs and repair person
Everybody needs machinary operating of some sort.
Everybody needs public servants
Everybody needs somebody to count things
Everybody needs food breeders
However the sum of all these things is delayed by peace. At some point you will want something more then food, clothing, and shelter. That is when we start become an capitalism.
A huge % of work is government supported work. If your family member works for any non-for-profit company that is employed by the government or receives government funding. You can see how much they make right now.
Business? Business is based off two things. Are you experienced in that area? or are you not experienced in that area. To be an lawyer you have to be affected by the law. The hardest thing is to pretend to care about the cases you are dealing with. Most business people take law school, not to screw themselves. Of course we are talking about people who already have a foot in the door.
......
bottom-line the United States is a big nation, and you have to travel at some point, unless your paralyzed from the waste down. Don't want to move away from your parents tuff luck? The work of your dreams might be inside a land you have to use a bit of money to get to. Then their is competition for work. Oh the insanity.
Everybody is scared of not having work right now. You have zero idea in your head, then make a choice.
Here is a good idea. Many people in colleges ( the jerk faced lying council people : HOW DO THEY GET THAT JOB ), just help people find out what they need and do that job.
I wish I could be a public servant. I wouldn't mind being an officer, or militant. Even an reserve. Just to show my pride.
If you do not know what to do, and don't mind using your time. You could also try various programs; that sends people all over the world, so they can experience the farm life. You can even enjoy the farm life.
The last job you want to do is an office job. I hate the idea of having so much brain power and do barely anything with it at all. Again if you lack brain power ( or do not want to use it ). Find something where your outside or you only have to remember terms.
You got nothing to lose. Then study something that give you nothing to deal with. Less = more. If I was physically fit
sports man. Being a health instructor is also the way to go. Their are tons of women health major, but few men. If I
was a person who had limited movement. Math is usually for those kinds of people.
You can't send an mentally disabled person to do the job that requires understanding of the world. Are you a people person, or are you not?
Got a nice speaking voice, not fat, like theater? Be a news broadcaster. Every states need one. Right now my eyes act up kinda. I don't know if I could keep a straight face or change emotions so quickly.
Fancy electronics, be an electrical engineer.
Again public servant. Fireman, police, Ambulance. They have office jobs as well.
Wanna make bills, break bills. To politics and storm the world, with your public image. Again that is law as well as anthropology.
Federal government has work, that nobody wants to do.
Like to stay alert, ba an announcer.
A lot of people in college do things they have been doing since they were five, or even twelve. Sometimes people come from other nations with masters, and get the associates just to be allowed to work.
Marriage and Family Therapist. Need a master's, but then you can have an independent practice and be your own boss. You already know a lot about mental and emotional abuse can could help others.
1) You should talk to your school's career advisor .
Ha ha ha... A lot of them became career advisor because they can't find another other job and a lot of them don't even have real world experience, at least not recent real world experience. They are jokes. Better pick up a book offering career advice, even if it's 10 years old.
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