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Basically as the title says - I am not enjoying University. I'm doing alright academically (70% average which is a 1st) but that's about it. I live on my own so it gets pretty lonely, I'm already isolated anyway being 500 miles from home.
I don't do anything exciting.. Just get up, eat, go to gym, study, sleep.. Rinse and repeat. I attend two clubs and I don't speak to the people from those groups outside so I don't really have anyone to go out with, say even for a meal. On the weekends I go into town and go around the mall but that is all I do and it is getting old.. I have stopped going into town on the weekends now anyway, mainly due to the fact that there isn't much to do, at least as a solo person.. I mean i'm not going to go and sit in a restaurant alone.
I'm not a loud, extroverted person and that (to me) seems to be what this environment is catered to. Most people that I see seem to be of that personality type anyway. (Also Heavy Drinkers which is all that happens here)
I can't help but think that the entire experience is overrated.. My motivation to stay is dwindling as time goes on.. I keep wondering whether I should get on the plane and drop out?
I know that a couple of strangers online can't solve my problems but maybe you could give some advice? I know that I would probably regret dropping out (obviously) but I can't stand the campus that i'm in and I am bored out of my skull at this point.. I just want to get the hell out of here.
Last edited by GymFanatic; 11-20-2016 at 10:03 PM..
A couple questions. 1) How old are you? 2) What activities do you like to do? Specifically - what do you do or would you do to entertain yourself if there were no pressures on you from other people.
Without knowing the answers to those, my general advice is, "Wherever you go, there you are."
If you're naturally introverted, you'll have to "work" to resolve this. There's no other way. I'm introverted too. If left to my own devices, I will stay inside by myself for long periods of time. I had to "force" myself to do otherwise.
If you drop out, will you simply face the same social isolation at home or wherever you end up? If the answer is "yes," then I don't see the utility in dropping out.
My suspicion is that "university" is not your real problem. But I don't know the whole story. It's possible that college is not the place for you at this point in your life. Without knowing more details, I can't say one way or the other.
Basically as the title says - I am not enjoying University. I'm doing alright academically (70% average which is a 1st) but that's about it. I live on my own so it gets pretty lonely, I'm already isolated anyway being 500 miles from home.
I don't do anything exciting.. Just get up, eat, go to gym, study, sleep.. Rinse and repeat. I attend two clubs and I don't speak to the people from those groups outside so I don't really have anyone to go out with, say even for a meal. On the weekends I go into town and go around the mall but that is all I do and it is getting old.. I have stopped going into town on the weekends now anyway, mainly due to the fact that there isn't much to do, at least as a solo person.. I mean i'm not going to go and sit in a restaurant alone.
I'm not a loud, extroverted person and that (to me) seems to be what this environment is catered to. Most people that I see seem to be of that personality type anyway. (Also Heavy Drinkers which is all that happens here)
I can't help but think that the entire experience is overrated.. My motivation to stay is dwindling as time goes on.. I keep wondering whether I should get on the plane and drop out?
I know that a couple of strangers online can't solve my problems but maybe you could give some advice? I know that I would probably regret dropping out (obviously) but I can't stand the campus that i'm in and I am bored out of my skull at this point.. I just want to get the hell out of here.
It's a bummer.
I also went to college about 500 miles from home. I had no car and knew nobody at my school, going in. I lived on campus, but didn't gel with my roommate. I had been really looking forward to the social aspect of school, and it was disappointing right off the bat, when it seemed like everybody around me hit it off with the people they lived with (not true, actually, but it seemed like it at the time).
I ended up immersing myself in my coursework, which got me a rock solid GPA, and did a ton of music, even though I wasn't a music major. I met a bunch of people through fine arts, and didn't have to count on the people I lived with for social stuff. I also registered to study abroad the next term, and was basically holding out for that. When I got back from that, I had about a million times more confidence, and had no problem branching out and meeting new people. It was just a rocky start, because I was a fairly introverted person going in, who didn't feel like the new environment was initially a good fit. Once I really challenged myself to get outside my comfort zone, things got better.
I had some good experiences. I found my niche and it got better. I would never have dropped out, it was too good a school.
Have you joined any clubs, gotten involved in any activities on campus? Do you live on campus? Have you invited anyone out to do something? It's possible the school you picked isn't the right fit and maybe a transfer would be better, however, if you haven't given it a fair shot to get to know people, that will not change with a transfer. I'd suggest moving on campus next semester, getting a roommate and signing up for at least one activity that meets weekly.
You go to clubs but don't speak to anyone. Why not? Speak, say hi, ask if someone wants to go for coffee or something.
You don't do anything exciting, whatever that means. So do something different. Maybe most people are drinking-focussed but that can't mean everybody. Look around outside yourself.
Ask someone at the gym for advice, compliment them. Invite them out for something-or just take time to sit and talk a bit.
Even ask one of your classmates to study together, at your home or if more comfortable, at the library.
Also, get over needing someone to do something with. There's almost as much as a solo person to do as a couple or group.
Granted you're in a rut but it's a rut of your own making. I'd lay odds that if you went some place else, you'd just make a slightly different (but almost the same) rut.
As redguard pointed out, wherever you go there you are.
Basically as the title says - I am not enjoying University. I'm doing alright academically (70% average which is a 1st) but that's about it. I live on my own so it gets pretty lonely, I'm already isolated anyway being 500 miles from home.
I don't do anything exciting.. Just get up, eat, go to gym, study, sleep.. Rinse and repeat. I attend two clubs and I don't speak to the people from those groups outside so I don't really have anyone to go out with, say even for a meal. On the weekends I go into town and go around the mall but that is all I do and it is getting old.. I have stopped going into town on the weekends now anyway, mainly due to the fact that there isn't much to do, at least as a solo person.. I mean i'm not going to go and sit in a restaurant alone.
I'm not a loud, extroverted person and that (to me) seems to be what this environment is catered to. Most people that I see seem to be of that personality type anyway. (Also Heavy Drinkers which is all that happens here)
I can't help but think that the entire experience is overrated.. My motivation to stay is dwindling as time goes on.. I keep wondering whether I should get on the plane and drop out?
I know that a couple of strangers online can't solve my problems but maybe you could give some advice? I know that I would probably regret dropping out (obviously) but I can't stand the campus that i'm in and I am bored out of my skull at this point.. I just want to get the hell out of here.
The first thing is to put college in perspective. You are there for a degree first and foremost, it is why you went to college. Social life comes after that, if you are doing "alright," academically, spend more time working and studying so you do better. College life is not for everyone, but is a necessary step to better things, keep the end goal in mind, switching schools or dropping out might solve your short-term solution, but will set back your long-term goals.
As for friends, you need to put yourself out there, if the 2 clubs that you go to are not fostering friendship, find other ones.
Key questions -- what is your age? What is your standing (freshman, sophomore, etc)? Why are you living alone vs on campus?
Depending on your age, first suggestion is get into a dorm on campus. I know, many hate them, but right now you are in a self inflicted isolation, so this will force you to break that.
Second, join and actively participate in whatever the student professional society is for your major. Active participation is key. Almost all these have active programs on campus or community service.
Next, look around your student union or rec center. There will be a zillion activities. From intermural sports of all types, to ski trips, camping, kayaking, you name it. All you have to do is sign up and participate.
You see, this is one area where I disagree with many on the purpose of college. So many say the purpose of college is to get a degree. Well, that's partly true, but if it's your only reason, you will miss out on three fourths of the learning that college is about. College is really about expanding your mind, your horizons, and yourself. The degree, the classes, the homework, are all a necessary, but not a sufficient part of that.
Expanding your mind, horizons and yourself can all be done outside of college. Personal growth, improvement, and expansion is not contingent on going to college, a degree is.
Keep your eye on the ball, you are paying money for a degree, get it and get out.
ETA: a 70% average is really NOT doing okay academically.
This. I would say this is indicative of some degree of depression.
OP, you say you're isolated, living 500 miles from home, yet you chose to isolate yourself further? Why is that? See if your school has any special-interest dorms, like for techies, language students, and the like. A situation like that can be a ready-made circle of potential friends. The freshman year, sometimes the first two years, of college can be difficult for some students, and even more so for those who live alone off-campus. Some begin to find a niche when they force themselves to join clubs and activities. You may not have found your niche yet.
Sometimes faculty members organize interest groups for students; a weekly foreign language conversation table at lunch, music activities/a band, volunteering for the local enviro group or a cause of their own. Keep an ear to the ground for opportunities like that. If you're not doing well in your classes, though, your profs aren't likely to notice you or to encourage you. You'll find your experience more rewarding, and will feel better about yourself, if you apply yourself more to your studies.
What are your non-academic interests? Keep an eye out for groups that students spontaneously form, themselves. See if anything interesting's happening around the music or drama department. Look around off-campus for interesting activities: a poetry/writer's open mic, Parks Department co-ed soccer or volleyball games or art or martial arts classes (see your local Parks Dept. website), a street fair or film festival you could volunteer for, a photography workshop.
It might help to visit the counseling center, to talk to someone. Your situation actually turns up pretty often. Your campus health center can tell you where the counseling center is. It's a free service; it can't hurt to give it a try for a few sessions.
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