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Old 02-09-2009, 04:34 PM
 
4 posts, read 6,053 times
Reputation: 10

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What would you do if your boyfriend asked you to move to Colorado Springs because HE had a job offer there? I am in my 40's and have a decent job and benefits in Oregon, so I am having a hard time agreeing to move. I know I haven't mentioned love yet, but that's only because it's tempered by the fact that I never know if I can believe his pie-in-the-sky-schemes. He means well, and I know he loves me but love does not pay my bills. He seems certain I can find another job there but the economy isn't in very good shape right now, you know?

It would be miserable without him but I need to be practical too don't I. Colorado sounds like a great state, but rainy, dreary old Oregon is paying my bills...so what would you do?
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Old 02-09-2009, 04:36 PM
 
4 posts, read 6,053 times
Reputation: 10
Default wierd name

I am a lady by the way...sorry about the weird log-on name :-)
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Old 02-09-2009, 04:37 PM
 
Location: San Diego
50,291 posts, read 47,043,365 times
Reputation: 34079
It depends on how much your job pays vs his but I'd take Co Springs over Oregon any day.
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Old 02-09-2009, 05:29 PM
 
10 posts, read 25,577 times
Reputation: 15
Do yourself a huge favor and read this book:

10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives
by Dr. Laura

Here it is at amazon:
Amazon.com: Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives: Laura C. Schlessinger: Books

I know people typically either love or hate Dr. Laura. Either way, you deserve to give the book a shot before making a life changing decision.

Just my $0.02
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Old 02-09-2009, 07:40 PM
 
Location: Denver
1,082 posts, read 4,718,056 times
Reputation: 556
Stay in Oregon. If he gets a good job and loves you he'll come visit or make a real offer you can't refuse (and even then, if you question his reliability what's that about?--dependency?).

A job in Oregon is worth ten interviews in Colorado Springs. Believe me, I have it the other way around.
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Old 02-09-2009, 07:41 PM
 
Location: Denver
1,082 posts, read 4,718,056 times
Reputation: 556
Smile First time I've ever agreed with Dr. Laura

Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin S. View Post
Do yourself a huge favor and read this book:

10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives
by Dr. Laura

Here it is at amazon:
Amazon.com: Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives: Laura C. Schlessinger: Books

I know people typically either love or hate Dr. Laura. Either way, you deserve to give the book a shot before making a life changing decision.

Just my $0.02
I haven't read it but if she'd say don't follow his job she's a genius.
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Old 02-09-2009, 08:11 PM
 
26,214 posts, read 49,044,521 times
Reputation: 31786
Don't be a wimpy woman. Let him go to Colorado. See how it really goes without him. Sounds like you are putting more into the current relationship than he is. You shouldn't have to carry the bulk of the load, and if my take is correct, I'd suggest you let him go and you stay where YOUR job is at and your bills are paid. Sounds like he isn't paying your bills, so give it a try at a distance. You can always come here at a later date - if you want to - and if it's a good move for YOU.
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Old 02-09-2009, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
1,570 posts, read 5,987,379 times
Reputation: 1405
I've lived in Colorado Springs for nearly 30 years - I love it here! But your question is not about location.
You may have answered your own question, "pie-in-the-sky". You shouldn't move. If he wants to move, he should. Perhaps once he is established in a new town, new job and new home - you can visit. Only then, if it looks like you both want to stay together as a couple AND if you are then interested in moving, start to check out the job market in Colorado Springs. You shouldn't give up one job without securing another.
You must take care of yourself.
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Old 02-10-2009, 01:49 AM
 
53 posts, read 204,953 times
Reputation: 21
I totally agree with everything that was pointed out here.
Read the Book it is great.
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Old 02-10-2009, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Canada
2,140 posts, read 6,469,422 times
Reputation: 972
Quote:
Originally Posted by MMichelle View Post
I've lived in Colorado Springs for nearly 30 years - I love it here! But your question is not about location.
You may have answered your own question, "pie-in-the-sky". You shouldn't move. If he wants to move, he should. Perhaps once he is established in a new town, new job and new home - you can visit. Only then, if it looks like you both want to stay together as a couple AND if you are then interested in moving, start to check out the job market in Colorado Springs. You shouldn't give up one job without securing another.
You must take care of yourself.
Yes.
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