Admission decisions - 2016 (Plano, Howe: preschools, live, professionals)

[TurtleCreek80]

Originally Posted by BLDSoon

Bumping this thread for a 2016 admit question...

My very good friend is accepted at my daughters school and is admitted to primer. She has accepted, but is now having 2nd thoughts as she does not think he daughter needs holding back.( she is a very bright kid, is an emergent reader etc, frankly i don't why she wasn't admitted to 1st)

I really want her at our school for slightly selfish (carpool, our kids are friends etc) reasons but also because our lower school is really great and the school is very competitive and getting more so each year. No guarantee she can get in later. She is getting more and more annoyed as time goes on. I'm concerned she will withdraw which will be okay i guess. ( they are in another private, one not as competitive as ours)

My kid is going on to 1st grade and i have no details on exactly what Primer entails so i have no idea what to tell her. If i cant get information here i'll just ask the primer teachers. But i don't want to let on that there is a problem or hesitation on her part. ( they know i referred her)


Has anyone had a kid admitted to primer? What does it entail exactly? Do kids ever get moved to first grade from primer mid school year? I know what the school says it is but it would be helpful to get information from parents that have had their kids go through it.

Thanks in advance.

Is her daughter young for her grade? I think that primer is often recommended when the child is not as emotionally mature as her peers. My friends' daughter is going to primer next year. She is very bright but has a late August birthday and could use another year to mature.

The private schools have a pretty comprehensive grasp on what traits are going to make a student successful in primer vs 1st. Seems a shame to not trust the school who is comparing your friends' daughter to the thousands of students they've admitted over the years.

[BLDSoon]

Originally Posted by TurtleCreek80

Is her daughter young for her grade? I think that primer is often recommended when the child is not as emotionally mature as her peers. My friends' daughter is going to primer next year. She is very bright but has a late August birthday and could use another year to mature.

The private schools have a pretty comprehensive grasp on what traits are going to make a student successful in primer vs 1st. Seems a shame to not trust the school who is comparing your friends' daughter to the thousands of students they've admitted over the years.

The girl has an April birthday, She will be turning 6. She applied with three other people we know and none got in. Very bright kids too. I really don't know what to tell her. They went through the entire admissions process which is a lot... for three schools. She got into ours, waitlisted elsewhere. Now she doesn't want her daughter to be "nineteen years old still in high school" .

I plan on having her read people's responses on the issue....

[MSC31]

I don't know what school you are talking about but I heard that my daughter's school has decided to be a little more stringent on age/birthdate so your friends child would no longer be admitted into first and would have to do primer.

I have a feeling your friend is feeling insulted and is letting that cloud her judgement. Depending on the school she may have to wait until fifth grade for her daughter to get another chance at getting in.

[BLDSoon]

Originally Posted by MSC31

I don't know what school you are talking about but I heard that my daughter's school has decided to be a little more stringent on age/birthdate so your friends child would no longer be admitted into first and would have to do primer.

I have a feeling your friend is feeling insulted and is letting that cloud her judgement. Depending on the school she may have to wait until fifth grade for her daughter to get another chance at getting in.

Oh she's insulted alright. I explained to her the kids in that class will be the same age as her daughter not younger. She wanted to know if there was any chance they'd bump her up to 1st grade mid-year once they realize she doesn't need to be held back. I told her i cant ask them that. So here i am..

[JTC Mom]

Bump her up midyear? Um no, cant imagine that. It is so very common here to hold kids back, she is likely to have other classmates very close to her age and may not even be the oldest in the class.

I agree with previous post that many private schools do a really good job of placing students in K/primer/1st based on their needs. In general I don't believe that academic resdiness is the primary driver at all.. Most kids that are admitted to very selective schools are really bright.

Has she asked the school why they thought primer was most appropriate for her daughter? Seems like a worthwhile discussion regardless of what she decides.

[BLDSoon]

Originally Posted by JTC Mom

Bump her up midgear? Um no, cant imagine that. It is so very common here to hold kids back, she is likely to have other classmates very close to her age and may not even be the oldest in the class.

I agree with previous post that many private schools do a really good job of placing students in K/primer/1st based on their needs. In general I don't believe that academic resdiness is the primary driver at all.. Most kids that are admitted to very selective schools are really bright.

Has she asked the school why they thought primer was most appropriate for her daughter? Seems like a worthwhile discussion regardless of what she decides.

There is a new parent meeting this week, i advised her to TACTFULLY ask the question there. I'm with TC80 in thinking it may come off as seeming like she doesn't trust their judgement. I asked her to please not ask admissions anything till then and i'd get her information where i can. I don't want her painting herself as 'THAT ' parent. She really isn't, I just need her to not do anything rash. because... well, i referred her, lol

Its funny how people want something so much then immediately forget how much they wanted it as soon as they get it....

[TurtleCreek80]

Originally Posted by BLDSoon

There is a new parent meeting this week, i advised her to TACTFULLY ask the question there. I'm with TC80 in thinking it may come off as seeming like she doesn't trust their judgement. I asked her to please not ask admissions anything till then and i'd get her information where i can. I don't want her painting herself as 'THAT ' parent. She really isn't, I just need her to not do anything rash. because... well, i referred her, lol

Its funny how people want something so much then imediatley forget how much they wanted it as soon as they get it....

An April birthday is considered "young" these days.

In the end, it's your friend's decision to not accept the primer spot if she comes to the conclusion that first grade at the current school is better than primer at the new school. If you're a *really* good friend, perhaps you can delicately ask if she is upset because it's not what SHE wants, or if it's not what she thinks is best for her daughter....because there is a BIG difference between the two. I really don't think her daughter will be bored in primer though- rarely does one hear about bored kids at the good private schools.

[BLDSoon]

Originally Posted by TurtleCreek80

An April birthday is considered "young" these days.

In the end, it's your friend's decision to not accept the primer spot if she comes to the conclusion that first grade at the current school is better than primer at the new school. If you're a *really* good friend, perhaps you can delicately ask if she is upset because it's not what SHE wants, or if it's not what she thinks is best for her daughter....because there is a BIG difference between the two. I really don't think her daughter will be bored in primer though- rarely does one hear about bored kids at the good private schools.

My opinion is her daughter will be better off in our school. She is a smart kid and will thrive anywhere. Her current school is a good one but academically it just isn't anything to write home about. They live in Dallas and their local public school isn't a good option so when she didn't get in in Pre-K, they went with the school they are in now. Keeping her there four more years when she got into one of the best schools in the area, just to avoid primer, is not fair. Especially if she'll have to go through that again later...but...I'm not her parent.

From the feedback i'm getting here, her child isn't too old for primer.( I think thats her main concern, that primer is for the too-young-for-1st-grade kids and her child will be socially or academically bored/ahead of the other kids) It may help for her to hear it from others that have nothing to gain from their family joining the school. (Creating social playgroups for younger kids in private school is not easy! A topic for another day)

[EDS_]

As a past private school dad I'd say your friend should take a couple of deep cleansing breaths and think this through, any admission into one of the better privates is high praise towards her kiddo.

1. A bird in hand is sometimes worth more than two in the bush. Her little girl has a slot now. There's a chance if they pass now the opportunity will be gone forever.

2. Clearly this little girl is smart. However, as TC80 noted although they are real life fallible human beings the people who run these schools are serious professionals, they must decide which smart kids are admitted into at all, which ones are sent away and then where the accepted kids should be placed.

3. Your friend should stow any thinking of an in-year "promotion." The chances are beyond slim.

4. I'm not a big fan of kids graduating high school at 19. But it's not a big deal.

5. IMO there are three logic tracks regarding asking the school why they placed this kiddo in Primer. And keep in mind the chances of reassignment are very slim.

A. Maybe not asking is the proper course. Either take the slot or don't. That wouldn't work for me.

B. Decline and then ask and I bet you the school will elaborate.

C. Ask why before making a decision. However, the mom needs to mind her tone and phraseology carefully, same if a dad was asking. Maybe something along the lines of, "We had hoped Y would be assigned a slot in 1st. Could you tell us a little more about why she was placed in primer and should I/we work with her on anything in particular at home?" Listen carefully and take it from there. I'd likely take this course.

[JTC Mom]

I agree with EDS, with one modification...when asking, .please don't say "we hoped she would be assigned to first grade". That phrasing makes it sound like it about you (the parent). Instead make sure your comments are focused on your daughter, and deferential to the school

"We are delighted (darling daughter) was admitted to (wonderful school). Based on her age we thought she would be assigned to first grade, and were a little surprised when she was offered a primer spot. Would you please tell me a little bit about the thought process behind her placement. How can we best help her succeed at (wonderfuk school)? We realize that if she starts in primer now, she will be 19 when she graduates. Will there be other students her age in the primer class?"