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As a 26 year old man, and I can tell you what I have observed in my own dating life. Don't let the bitter single ****s get you down.
Moved here at 22. Out here, if the girl wasn't motivated to go rock climbing with me, go backpacking, or go hiking, it just wasn't something that would last. I was focused on doing gnarly hikes on steep faces, progressing my trad climbing skills, going on 24 mile backpacking loops, etc. So, i'd meet people who liked that, and they were lovely. No one needed to have all these skills. But they needed to WANT to have them. Or at least do a nice 6 mile loop in a day! And then wrapping up with a beer and some weed. That was key.
This isn't all of denver, but definitely the outdoor/climber niche is like this. (which is massive here)
My tinder/city hookups never lasted at all. I had little in common with them. But I was doing the damn thing! And got laid at an above average rate I'd say.
I was immature, but growing, and I think all young people should let themselves do such. Is denver the right place to grow? well....
I am finally holding a relationship with a girl who lives an hour away in the mountains and I love it!
We met on a hut trip 2 years back -- snowshoeing 8 miles in leadville to a small yurt where we kept warm with a wood burning stove. Didn't really hit it off until we went to a halloween house party 8 minutes walking distance to my small 1 bedroom apartment on 14th and race.
We go hiking with her dog all the time, and she can visit me in the city to go out, and I can visit her in the mountains to get away.
I learned that a lot of my singleness fell onto my plate.
Anyways, you'll find your outdoorsy hiking friends and they will be your best friends and you'll love living in cap hill. The only downside are the bums around here, and the raising rent. Well, maybe the raising rent will cause the bums to leave?
That's how I see it as a guy, and that's all I can really offer. And that colfax (is a road, and stretching from broadway to colorado ave) has bums, but it's dope. Lodo does too. If you want shelter from the bums, try for sloans lake, lohi, west highlands, and wash park. The edgy hipster girls LOVE colfax tho. And that's why I love colfax as well. I learn a lot from them.
What I’ve gotten out of this thread so far is a young hot woman who gets hit on regularly is concerned about meeting men in Denver , when anywhere she goes in the world she’ll get hit on. Then we have a couple old codgers who supposedly want a relationship but are more interested in young stuff above all like it’s a coveted reward. Then we have younger guys who can’t get enough dates because the women in their age group want to hook up with the old codgers because they’re wealthy and have one foot in the grave. Lol.
Last edited by Mike from back east; 02-25-2019 at 03:18 PM..
Reason: terminology
What I’ve gotten out of this thread so far is a young hot woman who gets hit on regularly is concerned about meeting men in Denver , when anywhere she goes in the world she’ll get hit on. Then we have a couple old codgers who supposedly want a relationship but are more interested in young stuff above all like it’s a coveted reward. Then we have younger guys who can’t get enough dates because the women in their age group want to hook up with the old codgers because they’re wealthy and have one foot in the grave. Lol.
LOL
Most women I've succesfully dated and fell for were older than me. Including the one I'm dating now!
Moral of the story (mostly for guys tho, but perhaps applicable to OP): It's a city. I moved here for the lifestyle and found that dating was pretty lit. But I never hit on girls at the bars or anything. I just meet them doing the things I love. And I love it here. Go somewhere you love.
I'm a 29 y/o single guy who moved here 6 months ago to go back to school (graduate).. so not sure how representative I am of my age group or how representative the women in my cohort are, for that matter.
But a lot of women are in their early 20s because they came straight from undergrad and from my perspective there are a lot in their 20s in serious relationships..so, my $.02.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MLSFan
why not stop worrying about "dating" and more about living your life. the relationship follows as you do that. eventually you meet someone while going about your life, and they fit into it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Norrov
Just like any other city, just do things and meet people. Don’t take things seriously until it happens.
This is a common attitude in the area overall (dare I say in the state overall?) It's very "meet people doing what you like to do". I'd say the majority of people I know in relationships met that way. I think that's a cool attitude to have but I can see how some people would view it as being too casual.
Most of the women I know in the early-mid 20s age bracket are already in serious relationships. Maybe it's because they're more highly educated, but I don't see a lot of casual hooking up going on. Not as much as you would see on an average undergrad campus anyway...
Also, people (including men and also later 20s) that didn't meet in person through shared interests/hobbies etc. used dating apps like Bumble or Hinge as opposed to Tinder, and still found more serious relationships that way.
I have always been too iffy about online dating to bother trying, but I was considering Hinge and another classmate seemed to have some luck with it recently (a female about the same age as you). So that was encouraging I guess...still kind of on the fence about it and about whether I want a relationship right now in the first place. But like you, I'm not interested in hookup culture i.e. Tinder and bar hopping.
Hinge sort of vets people for you, from what I understand. You will know their occupation, name etc. outright. So the main options I see for people like us (wanting to avoid hookup culture) are meeting people in person through hobbies, or use an app like Bumble (woman initiates and gets to do a bunch of vetting), or Hinge (app does a lot of vetting and seems to want to be the anti-Tinder).
Quote:
Originally Posted by grad_student200
Here is the quick answer - the odds are tremendously in your favor. Denver is also known as "Menver" because the adult men roughly of about age 23 - late 30s grossly outnumber single women of that same age range. This is good for women like you but bad for the men.
I keep hearing this, but someone also posted an article somewhere on this forum... which I can't find now... about how it's not really the "Menver" thing so much as there are a lot of single women unhappy with the way men generally are in Denver. (And the ones who aren't unhappy, well, they're the ones who are in relationships and I guess the unhappy ones aren't as outwardly complainy as the single men?)
Essentially, the article was saying men were too passive and into their outdoor whatever activities and not actively asking women out, and the women here I guess want the guys taking more initiative (in many major cities that's not the case). Now it could also be that the person who wrote that article (don't recall the gender) just has some kind of bias in seeing most men as being overly passive for whatever reason....because it doesn't entirely explain the perception of there being more single men unless it's what I said above - unhappy single men are just more vocal about being unhappily single.
I'm a 29 y/o single guy who moved here 6 months ago to go back to school (graduate).. so not sure how representative I am of my age group or how representative the women in my cohort are, for that matter.
But a lot of women are in their early 20s because they came straight from undergrad and from my perspective there are a lot in their 20s in serious relationships..so, my $.02.
This is a common attitude in the area overall (dare I say in the state overall?) It's very "meet people doing what you like to do". I'd say the majority of people I know in relationships met that way. I think that's a cool attitude to have but I can see how some people would view it as being too casual.
Most of the women I know in the early-mid 20s age bracket are already in serious relationships. Maybe it's because they're more highly educated, but I don't see a lot of casual hooking up going on. Not as much as you would see on an average undergrad campus anyway...
Also, people (including men and also later 20s) that didn't meet in person through shared interests/hobbies etc. used dating apps like Bumble or Hinge as opposed to Tinder, and still found more serious relationships that way.
I have always been too iffy about online dating to bother trying, but I was considering Hinge and another classmate seemed to have some luck with it recently (a female about the same age as you). So that was encouraging I guess...still kind of on the fence about it and about whether I want a relationship right now in the first place. But like you, I'm not interested in hookup culture i.e. Tinder and bar hopping.
Hinge sort of vets people for you, from what I understand. You will know their occupation, name etc. outright. So the main options I see for people like us (wanting to avoid hookup culture) are meeting people in person through hobbies, or use an app like Bumble (woman initiates and gets to do a bunch of vetting), or Hinge (app does a lot of vetting and seems to want to be the anti-Tinder).
I keep hearing this, but someone also posted an article somewhere on this forum... which I can't find now... about how it's not really the "Menver" thing so much as there are a lot of single women unhappy with the way men generally are in Denver. (And the ones who aren't unhappy, well, they're the ones who are in relationships and I guess the unhappy ones aren't as outwardly complainy as the single men?)
Essentially, the article was saying men were too passive and into their outdoor whatever activities and not actively asking women out, and the women here I guess want the guys taking more initiative (in many major cities that's not the case). Now it could also be that the person who wrote that article (don't recall the gender) just has some kind of bias in seeing most men as being overly passive for whatever reason....because it doesn't entirely explain the perception of there being more single men unless it's what I said above - unhappy single men are just more vocal about being unhappily single.
People can say what they wish, but if you are not a wealthy person with all types of free time to spend in the mountains doing all the fun activities that an overworked person like me wish he could enjoy, well you are going to find it tough. Yes, Denver might be a paradise for avid winter sports people. I respect those who have such a situation where they can go on long trips and outings in the mountains and indulge in winter sports and have the money for gas, lodging , ski passes, equipment, etc and somehow managed to get all the off-time from their job, which a software or engineer rarely can enjoy. Some people are in unique situation though, such as working from home or just work for a super cool company. Winter sports guru, Colorado is your oyster.
For the rest of us stuck in the city for long periods of time and who are not wealthy supermodels or playboys, it is a much tougher town for conjugal relations and even inter-gender relations than anywhere I have been. I just never thought any place would be worse than Seattle for meeting women, but this place really is. I'd say Boise is the only place that is tougher.
Now if you are even a half way decent looking woman and really wanting to find good lucking, wealthy guy who likes to have fun in the mountains you are in heaven. Basically, Colorado is a place for playgirls and they can have a great time here, especially if htey are the types that like varieties of guys and enjoy the swinger lifestyle. But, I am sure there are plenty of ladies who just want a solid monogamous relationship and want a wealthier guy who can support them and who is sexually appealing too; well, this would be probably better than most places.
Anyone who thinks Colorado's dating scene is equal for both genders probably has been in a long term relationship, hasn't engaged in the dating scene in a long time or is just naive to the fact. Yeah, if you are a bartender surrounded by lots of hot young babes of course you will be getting a lot of action, since working in such a social environment, easy sex and relationships are common. I met male bartenders, even in Boise, who were not attractive at all who were sleeping with lots of their hot co-workers. Some people are in very hospitable environments. But, a tech worker, like me, who is in a male dominated industry and doesn't have a way to know women in that or even through most of the male-oriented hobbies I have will be stuck relying on cold-approaching strangers, joining bizarre activities I would usually not partake in or having to try to traverse the dreadful online dating world.
I find it hard enough to even meet females here for platonic friendships. Every girl I meet has such strong reservations and acts with so much mistrust to male gender. I believe it is a product of being in male-dominated city.
Most girls I meet who come to Denver, ironically, come here with a boyfriend or husband. However, I meet globs and globs of guys who come here with the dream of Colorado Rocky Mountain high. Many women I think shun coming to Colorado by themselves ,because it is expensive and finding a job as a single female professional in this town will be quite daunting with so many other qualified men and most high paying jobs here are oriented to men. Seattle suffered from much of the same dilemma, but I do feel Seattle offered more jobs for single female professionals than Denver does.
The gender ratio imbalance is much worse than just plain numbers will explain. There is 10 single guys to 1 single women migrating to this town. I know, because I have met a lot of people living here and I rarely meet a woman who is single. Yet, finding single guys is a dime a dozen..
Denver, Colorado is to American women, what Kiev, Ukraine is to American men.. That is the best assessment I can make of the situation
You have two types. The generic gay bar fly's who are at the local bars every Thursday - Sunday. They might play on a gay kickball league once a year. Possibly go camping on a group trip during the summer. High chances of being a smoker and having a room mate. Usually have exhausted their entire dating pool.
Then you have the off the radar types. Attractive, fit, outdoorsy, good job, nice home, and a very balanced social circle. They don't associate with the gay bar scene, or use gay apps, so they are very hard to find. These guys are usually more interested in their outdoor hobbies, so dating is always second priority.
I usually dated other guys I met through mutual friends. Just find a large group of friends out for drinks downtown on a weekend, and chances are one of them will be gay. Find the most bubbly girl in the group. Get in good with her, make a joke about being gay (you don't want your forwardness to be misleading), then ask to be introduced to the rest of the group.
I am glad to know the gay dating scene here is so great for guys and it doesn't surprise me that gay men would flock to a place where single men outnumber single women. That really doesn't help those of us who are not gay though. And, the OP didn't say she was a lesbian, so it will throw the thread way off topic.
I am glad to know the gay dating scene here is so great for guys and it doesn't surprise me that gay men would flock to a place where single men outnumber single women. That really doesn't help those of us who are not gay though. And, the OP didn't say she was a lesbian, so it will throw the thread way off topic.
I just wanted to throw in that gays basically take 2 guys off the market. So while you can cite all the stats of the men/women ratios, it's kind of meaningless without factoring in the LGBT population.
I honestly don't know what the true LGBT population of Denver is, or whether gay men out number gay women.
Let's get back on topic, which is the dating scene for 20-something females.
IMO the OP will do fine; fit attractive women get lots of attention in any city.
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