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I have had small children in my neighborhood (or at the park) ask if they could pet my French bulldog, that the vets says doesn't have a mean bone in her body, while I've been out walking with her leashed. I will only allow it if their parents are there and give permission. I then take a tight hold so that I can pull her back for ANY reason. She's a total lovebug, and I have no concern of her biting anyone, but she could jump up in excitement, or could react in an unexpected way. And I also think it's good to model to children (who often don't have parents in sight) how a dog owner should behave so they'll not be scared, but cautious the next time they approach a dog.
I was bitten by our family dog as an infant twice. It was a purebred poodle that was around 10, and had grown up with my brothers. The first time my mom didn't see it happen. The second time she did. I was just sitting playing and she lunged and bit me for no reason. It was not a bad injury, but my parents had to get rid of her after that. Even small dogs can seriously hurt young children.
She is WRONG. People should not encourage her bad behavior, but even if they do, it doesn't make her behavior any better, it just makes them jerks too.
As a parent of 5 human children and 3 canine children, here's the deal: babies always come first. Period. End of story. No exceptions. Ever.
Secondly, this woman also has some unhealthy things going on in her head. It's fine if you, as an adult, want to be friends with her. Bringing someone with some red flags around children should be viewed cautiously.
Follow common sense with this. If you don't feel that your baby is safe around the dog, don't put your baby in the situation. Don't go to her home and don't invite her to your home. Meet in a neutral area (restaurant or mall) where the dog can't go.
I've read through the other posts and I agree. You are absolutely in the right. It is your ultimate duty as a mom to protect your child. Period.
I'd say your friend has a screw loose... but I'm afraid she has more than one loose. I have a very friendly, social dog. Even "ON" leash she tends to lunge at people and other dogs because she wants to greet them. But even *I* know that my dogs exhuberance in wanting to say "hello" can look quite intimidating and try my best to correct her... ON-LEASH!!! Unless we're in my back yard or at the dog-park, my dog is ALWAYS on leash. And when the SO's grandbabies come to visit, my pups go in their crates (until the kids are old enough to know how to treat a dog, or we're watching them like a hawk.)
It also concerns me that she's mentioned that she may be getting too close to the baby and would be hurt if you took it away. It's not her baby.
The dog isn't uncontrollable, he's just allowed more freedom than I think is appropriate (and we allow our dog a fair amount of freedom too).
I kind of wish I hadn't brought up the off leash thing as I fear it colored the discussion from the beginning. Having said that I really appreciate everyone's input and the validation that I am right to be concerned about the dog being allowed to get too close to the baby while she is on the floor. I am not worried about the dog being viscous, but I DO think it is very possible that he could stand on her and as a big dog he could inadvertently do a lot of damage.
The humping thing does concern me. I think it is bad that she allows it. I think she is of the 'reward good behavior, ignore bad behavior' school. I believe in gently disciplining poor behavior and would NEVER allow a dog to hump me. For a start it's gross, and secondly it's confusing for the dog.
As to her bond with the baby... yes that is a shame. She married a man who had kids already so was a defacto grandmother. When her husband died, the family stopped talking to her as they felt she was taking their Dad's money (she wasn't).
She has experienced a lot of sadness and I think the poster that mentioned the possibility of her relationship with the dog being affected by her life experience is spot on. It's really sad. She's really fond of me and it's sad that she's going to force me to take a stand.
Oh well. I'll try and update if I hear from her. I am taking a break from contacting her at the minute. I just don't want to fight about the dog. It will only upset her and then she'll get mad and over react more. If she contacts me I'll decide how to respond then.
So I am posting this here because I would like the opinion of animal lovers rather than over protective parents.
We have a very well trained small dog and people often ask if our dog is safe with our baby.... which she is. I am not generally paranoid about animals around the baby.
That said, I had a disagreement last week with a friend over her dog and I'd like some unbiased opinions. I'd be particularly grateful for opinions from those who either have kids themselves or are familiar with kids.
My friend is an older woman and the dog is a big beautiful labradoodle. He is a nice dog - no mean streak at all. She also had a trainer come when he was a puppy and I consider him to be a reasonably well trained dog.
HOWEVER, in my inexpert opinion the dog lacks discipline. She walks him off leash in the city and he constantly runs up to other dogs and people. Now he is not being viscous or nasty, but it DOES scare people. People look terrified as he bounds up to them and other dog owners regularly comment that their dog isn't friendly and can she keep him away, that there are leash laws, etc. She refuses to acknowledge that anyone is scared and refuses to put him on the leash "because he is miserable on the leash".
He also often humps my friend. She thinks it means that he doesn't want her to leave. I think it means that he is showing dominance and considers himself to be pack leader.
The problem is that my friend has a bad back and likes to play with our infant on her living room floor. She allows the dog to run around all over the place and he has come within an inch of standing on our baby multiple times.
On Thursday I thought I saw him actually stand on her and told her. She freaked out and told me I was wrong. I got annoyed and said I wasn't wrong and picked up the baby.... whereupon she freaked out that I was taking the baby away from her.
I am sorry that I hurt her feelings - she has no kids and the dog is her baby. She LOVES him. But ultimately I have an issue with the dog on a number of levels. Her whole life revolves around him so he is always with her - in stores and our house, etc. I could live with it before, but now we have a tiny baby I am just not comfortable with the dog being allowed to bounce all over our infant.
If he comes to our house I won't be able to leave the baby on the floor because the dog will be all over her. I don't understand why he can't just sit or lie down while she is on the floor, but apparently not.
So did I over react? Should I trust her to make sure the dog doesn't inadvertently hurt our baby, or am I right to step in and say that it's not ok?
I am sorry to have upset her, but had she acknowledged the incident I would have felt more comfortable. The fact that she refused to acknowledge that it was a problem made me feel like she was not in control of the situation and would not be taking steps to ensure it doesn't happen again. I am also concerned about what would happen if the baby grabs a handful of hair and pulls. He is not vicious, but given that he considers himself pack leader (or I think he does), I am concerned that he may discipline the baby. He's a big dog and it just scares me.
Thoughts? She is so sensitive about the dog and gets very defensive if I say anything. She's sent me a very upset text that she feels that we can no longer be as close because she's worried she's getting attached to the baby and I could take her away at any moment (this has happened to her before).
That is your child, and if your child is accidentally hurt due to your friend's denial, you will never forgive her and you will NEVER forgive your child for trying to compromise her safety and well being in order to not offend your friend. From now on you need to make it perfectly clear that the dog is not allowed at your house at all, that you both can still hang out but the dog cannot be around the baby until the baby is a bit older or until she has better control of him. I know of a family that was a part of my church, they had a two year old little boy, they had their dog longer than the little boy and the baby grew up around the dog, one day the dog just attacked out of nowhere. It was so heartbreaking seeing how that dog ripped that baby's face. The baby did live but the dog did not. Always go with your gut instinct when it comes to the well being of your child. Bump everyone else's feelings, you're a parent now.
As a parent and a dog owner, I think you did the right thing. Overly rambunctious happy go lucky dogs with no manners can hurt infants, especially because people tend to let their guard down when the dog "doesn't have a mean bone in his body". If it were me and this woman can't understand that, then I wouldn't bring baby over until she is a bit older. Actually, I would probably distance myself from the friendship completely because it's just weird that your friend got upset that you picked up your own baby and is worried that you could "take her away from her at any moment". That's setting off warning bells in my head.
That female is crazy!! Might run off with the baby and think the dog hunching the baby is cute *shuddering at the thought*
I can only assume your original post, Hobokenkitchen, was made in the *heat of the moment* because, no disrespect meant, you seem to ME, to be spending more time on your thread defending your friend rather then defending, imo, protecting your baby.
I have seen, horribly, what happens when a big, happy, silly dog ends up unintentionally hurting a baby. Let me put it another way. I had to euthanize a dog because he, accidentally, running around, stomped on a nearly one year old child.
Child died.
I guess all I can offer, if you continue to have this dog around your child, is to make sure your baby is NEVER EVER EVER on the floor when this dog is around.
I'm so sorry you are going through this and I'll leave it at that.
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by second right
I have seen, horribly, what happens when a big, happy, silly dog ends up unintentionally hurting a baby. Let me put it another way. I had to euthanize a dog because he, accidentally, running around, stomped on a nearly one year old child.
Child died.
Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry that you had to endure that. All of that. Oh my gosh. I have no words. Shivers and goosebumps and tears? I've got those. But I've got no more words than "I'm so very sorry."
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No you did not
I'm so sorry that you had to endure that. All of that. Oh my gosh. I have no words. Shivers and goosebumps and tears? I've got those. But I've got no more words than "I'm so very sorry."
