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I'm a guy from an European country and a former bullying victim.
I've read numerous threads and articles about this plague.
Something is bothering me:
I noticed that bullying in America may be different from bullying in Europe. I've read many stories from American kids and I've never saw or heard bout the "everyone against one kid" type of bullying. I mean when a whole class/whole school gangs up on a specific and isolated victim, whereas in my country this is the kind of bullying that makes the headlines.
In bullying stories from American, there is no isolation/ friendless people for example.
Do you undertand what I mean?
Hence my question: is Bullying in America different (less severe) from bullying in Europe?
Are you saying the in America we make too much of school bullying situations they would not be upset about in europe?That in Europe only the most severe cases get any attention ? I guess that is the way it used to be here in the US. They didn't protect anyone from bullying when I was growing up.
No, it's not. I was a victim of the type of bullying you describe for many years, and so were other kids in my school. I just think the attention currently being paid to bullying is mostly lip service designed to protect schools from liability. They don't even really seem to understand what it actually is. It's just easier for them to portray the classic bully stereotype - one guy that everyone is afraid of picking on some little guys - even if that's not what it actually looks like. Makes it easier to ignore real bullying.
I'm a guy from an European country and a former bullying victim.
I've read numerous threads and articles about this plague.
Something is bothering me:
I noticed that bullying in America may be different from bullying in Europe. I've read many stories from American kids and I've never saw or heard bout the "everyone against one kid" type of bullying. I mean when a whole class/whole school gangs up on a specific and isolated victim, whereas in my country this is the kind of bullying that makes the headlines.
In bullying stories from American, there is no isolation/ friendless people for example.
Do you undertand what I mean?
Hence my question: is Bullying in America different (less severe) from bullying in Europe?
ps: excuse me for my English.
That type of bullying happens in America too and there definitely is some isolation and friendless people due to this.
In my experience - and mind you, I am from Eastern Europe, maybe that makes a difference -, bullying is swiftly dealt with at home, and yes, parents do get involved. I was bullied by a much older girl (hit), and half an hour after I got home and complained, my mom was already looking for her. Yes, she got a beating from my mother and no, she never bullied me again.
Yeah, yeah, I know that wouldn't fly in the US. But that's how we deal with it. Your family has your back.
That does happen in the US. It happened at my school. It also happens in Japan.
It happens in schools where the bullies are popular, like if the top athletes are bullies. If the bullies are in the popular group that other kids look up to, then other kids will cheer them on, and even join in on the bullying and become bullies themselves, in the hopes of improving their own social status. Some teachers will even turn the other way if a popular kid is a bully (and some teachers even encourage bullying!). Unpopular kids that are not good at standing up for themselves get targeted by other kids hoping to boost their social status by picking on them. The ones who aren't good at defending themselves from bullies are seen as easy targets by those seeking to impress popular bullies.
In these situations, though, it's not likely to be that "all" of the kids are bullying. There will also be several kids who know it's wrong and pity the victim, but don't dare say anything to help them for fear of dropping their social status, or worse yet, becoming a victim themselves. To the victim, though, it's likely to seem like everybody is in on it; because all they see are the bullies, their taunts, and the laughter from the other kids.
I believe it probably happens all over the world, but only when the popular kids are bullies, and the teachers allow it to happen.
In my experience - and mind you, I am from Eastern Europe, maybe that makes a difference -, bullying is swiftly dealt with at home, and yes, parents do get involved. I was bullied by a much older girl (hit), and half an hour after I got home and complained, my mom was already looking for her. Yes, she got a beating from my mother and no, she never bullied me again.
Yeah, yeah, I know that wouldn't fly in the US. But that's how we deal with it. Your family has your back.
Granted I am talking about the 1970s in the case but growing up in small town West Virginia I can remember seeing this sort of thing where quite often when it came to bullies the parent of the child who was bullied would beat up the bully even if he/she was a child and for some reason I don't remember if any of those parents had ever went to jail for it either. Our school district at the time expected parents to handle bully situations in other words "..leave us out of it !!".
Now that would change at least in my school district in 1985 when my high school and several students had found themselves in a lawsuit over bullying. A girl ( Jane Doe ) in my grade had a boyfriend who at the time had worked part-time at a local Econo Lodge motel. Unfortunately she was often known to brag to the other students about how she would have sex with her boyfriend "quite often" in one of the unused rooms at the motel. Long story short several students in photo class made up a fake Econo Lodge ad complete with Jane's face on it with the words " Econo Lodge..spend a night and not a fortune..and you can have sex with Jane Doe too !!" and they passed out copies throughout the school. Jane's parents got a copy of this "ad" and sued and it was settled out of court. After this incident the school finally became involved with bullying.
That does happen in the US. It happened at my school. It also happens in Japan.
It happens in schools where the bullies are popular, like if the top athletes are bullies. If the bullies are in the popular group that other kids look up to, then other kids will cheer them on, and even join in on the bullying and become bullies themselves, in the hopes of improving their own social status. Some teachers will even turn the other way if a popular kid is a bully (and some teachers even encourage bullying!). Unpopular kids that are not good at standing up for themselves get targeted by other kids hoping to boost their social status by picking on them. The ones who aren't good at defending themselves from bullies are seen as easy targets by those seeking to impress popular bullies.
In these situations, though, it's not likely to be that "all" of the kids are bullying. There will also be several kids who know it's wrong and pity the victim, but don't dare say anything to help them for fear of dropping their social status, or worse yet, becoming a victim themselves. To the victim, though, it's likely to seem like everybody is in on it; because all they see are the bullies, their taunts, and the laughter from the other kids.
I believe it probably happens all over the world, but only when the popular kids are bullies, and the teachers allow it to happen.
Isn't that both the worst and saddest part about it? The ones who actually have the power and ability to stop it instead encouraging it. 40 years later I still remember being held penned to the gym wall while the kids took turning throwing basketballs at my head. All the while watching the PE coach at the other end of the gym doing his level best to avoid seeing what was going on.
Yes, some PE teachers encourage bullying. I've seen that.
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