Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Y'know, I think you are right. I'm an American. I left the States in 1996, and generally been living abroad. My dating is absolutely fine in Asia, Europe, and South America (all places I've lived). When I lived in the States, I generally only dated non-American women. I have a very average build - not skinny, not fat, not muscular, just lean and quick and light and average.
In the States, there is an unwritten rule that women should be smaller than the guy. However, you don't have many small women. So thats a problem right there for an average guy.
Plus, most women in the States actually DO prefer the bulkier, fatter, well-fed guys. I think it makes for the already larger women to feel better about their own eating habits as well. They go hand in hand in that manner. I think it goes back to the diet.
That being said. It is very different in different parts of the States. Seattle and Portland are famous for being filled with skinny pale introverted guys who are very popular with women. So, it really varies significantly within the States.
Being that I grew up in the MidWest...people are just larger in general there. More farmboys (and girls)...sports dominates that region. So, bigger is perceived as better across the board. Plus if a person is normal weight or certainly less than normal, pretty much everyone (generally all the overweight people) are going to insist that they are starving themselves and need to eat more...lol
I am American and I haven't left the States "yet". The macho thing, well, I see it in some European men as well as American men. Many of the European men I have met had a macho-ness about them. I think the difference is that it's to a different level. It is more "urbane". I think the American version of macho is more of the "rough and ready" type.
I am not that big either. I have gained some weight, but not to the point that might suffice to some people. Height could also be a factor. I am 5'5" tall, and there are women in the USA who are around 5'0" who want men around 5'8". One woman actually said shorter men scare her. I haven't dated anyone actually. Someone I know suggested I go overseas and try dating over there. According to him, my personality, interests, and eccentricities might be a turn off in the States.
I pretty much defy all macho values. One thing I do notice is this: Some people might admire that a guy who is secure enough in their security to do things such as sport Hello Kitty, wear pink on a frequent basis, but at the same time, it isn't considered dating material. Personally, I have gotten to where I do care, but I don't have the patience to deal with certain things. I figure, "I'm glad I'm not a macho type. If I tried macho, I would be a fake".
It could also be what part of the USA one is in. I am in the Deep South, mainly around the Atlanta area. I see alot of men with macho mentalities. And some of them are even college educated or in college.
"Do American Men Have More Macho Insecurity Complexes Than European Men?"
I'm an American who has lived in Western Europe and Cyprus for about eleven years. What might incline me to answer yes to the question is how much homosexuality seems be the bogeyman of American males. So many things they reject or criticize get labelled "gay" or "que*r", etc. Strikes me as a widespread preoccupation.
I know many Western European men of all ages, and the homosexual thing does not crop up with them with anything remotely like the frequency it does with American men. Perhaps it is different in Eastern Europe.
Don’t think being „macho“ indicates complexes or insecurity. It’s like the economy – supply fits demand. So if there’s a lot of macho types around, it only means local girls like them that way
Men kissing each other’s cheeks is more common here in the Mediterranean part of Europe, I think. It's the way to greet ie your male cousin when you don’t see each other for a long time. It's not something you do every time – a good ol handshake will do in that case. Male holding hands – not common unless you do some arm wrestling...
I'm Spanish and I've never, I repeat never, seen two men kissing each other on the cheek. There was never such a custom - I'm afraid you're making that up.
And no, I don't feel like giving my male friends a French kiss or throwing a pyjama party, and I don't feel my life is poorer because of it. I don't care if women do it. I don't feel any need to "embrace my inner woman". We're reaching a point where being a man is considered a mental disease that needs to be treated.
Well in that case, i guess the Evil American Machos have invaded your country and ruined this mysterious "feminent heterosexual male culture" way back before a United States has even existed?
The thing is that different cultures have different expectations. It used to be the old joke to introduce an Italian and a Swede (blokes) at a party, and watch them chasing round the house - Italians have a close-contact expectation, so they keep moving in, Swedes a not-too-close one, and keep moving away. I've tried it, and it's true. With us, physical contact is okay when it's concerned with sport and booze, but we get a bit queasy in other circumstances - whereas English seem to me very uptight about it anywhere - but, again, that depends on class. I think the basic US thing is very puritan, despite all the various cultures feeding in. As to what attracts American women, I am not particularly tall and was quite thin, but they seemed to find me interesting enough, whereas, now I am overweight, they don't. I'm married, though, so why should I care?
One German woman commented that some (German) men are "Gockelhaft" (rooster-like) in their strut and behavior. Another one asked me why so many American men keep their hair shorter than an inch.
I never quite understood the hate towards men with short hair. I have heard numerous times that having short hair was a sign of insecurity or being uncultured, but I never quite understood why. I doubt many men in the sunbelt region who work outside for any period of time would insist on having long hair. Maybe that is it - people perceive the short hair as being a poor mans/laborers hair style, therefore call them uncultured, uneducated, etc.
Way back in the 1970's, the Male Liberation Movement peaked its head into this country, starting with such books as The Hazards Of Being A Male and Male Liberation, and it's regretable that movement didn't take off more, even rival the Women's Liberation Movement. If you asked any number of men during that time, they'd quizzically ask: What do we need that for?
If that movement had really taken off and continued onwards, we'd now have not only NOW but NOM as well???
Last edited by tijlover; 11-26-2010 at 07:40 PM..
Reason: edit
The fear/dislike of homosexuals in America is just another byproduct of Christianity. People here take religion to a whole new level.
I disagree with that. IMO, white men in particular, have a much weaker sexual identity. Anything that threatens that might be met with violence.
I'm Gay, and I've frequented the bars in Tijuana, Mexico for a number of years and you'll find, on a Saturday night, straight men coming to these bars, along with their girlfriends/wives, to do a "little work", make a little extra money offering sexual services, but certainly not of the passive variety. And many of these straight Mexican men come to these bars, because the Gay bars have the cheapest beer specials in Tijuana, 2 for a dollar. Yes, they'll go anywhere for a cheap beer!
How many American men would do something like this, haul their wife to a Gay bar so he can pick up some extra money some night, to help feed the family, perhaps enjoy the sexual experience to boot, and walk away without their sexual identity undermined? Or just go there for the cheapest beer in town?
Last edited by tijlover; 11-26-2010 at 07:51 PM..
Reason: Edit
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
