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You grant some autonomy within your established boundaries - that is what it means to be a parent. Some may push those boundaries and make things hard for their parents but not all will. I wouldn't try to tell others what to do with their kids and I will do what I want with mine.
I agree, but my point is just because "most kids" are having sex at 14 or whatever doesn't mean you can let your kid wear thongs before you feel it's OK.
Dressing sexy leads to sex. And sex leads to all sorts of trouble for young women. Me personally, as long as she was living in my home and I was supporting her, I would just say no. Plus I would try to use the time to impress upon her that classy is a much better look than tween hooker.
Several people mentioned thongs. I think they are just underwear. I wear them myself when I am wearing clothes that show panty lines. I don't think they are all that sexy.
And BTW, this thread is really old!
I think just because the way I was raised.... I do agree with the "she's living in my home" thing.
When I was growing up, my dad paid the bills, if you lived in his home, it was his way or no way, really. And while esp in this day and age that is seen as wrong to most people, I feel that hey if your kid is underage and living with you, you should make the rules and you should not have to defend yourself to anyone. As long as its not abusive. I also don't agree with the "everyone elses kid can do it" stuff. I was raised pretty tough... but honestly I see what my niece is doing, low self-esteem, no boundaries, trying to be sexy and get with guys who want to use her.... I'm kinda thankful he was so tough.
I don't think the younger girls are into thongs these days. They wear low rose bootie shorts. Thongs are for " moms". They are the new granny panties LOL.
I don't think the younger girls are into thongs these days. They wear low rose bootie shorts. Thongs are for " moms". They are the new granny panties LOL.
There is a line between feminine and sexy. I see nothing wrong with young girls wearing pretty, comfortable, underwear, and most likely VS sells it.
Most mothers can tell the difference.
They are cotton undies. The girls usually prefer the cotton bras and the work out bra tops. It's nothing like the old style of VS or Fredericks. Here's their new arrivals. Not a thong in sight, LOL. They do sell them, but it's more for middle aged mommies like me who think they will be hip to shop in the young section of VS. https://www.victoriassecret.com/pink/new-and-now
I asked the question about young girls wearing "sexy" underwear of my 24 year old girlfriend who is helping raise her 13 year old niece and at 24, she is not far removed from the issue herself. She said she thought High School (14 to 15??) was about the age a young girl could take it up a notch but not to thongs, etc. but to things like boy shorts, colorful bras, matching panties/bras, etc. versus whatever.
I am okay with girls wearing feminine fashions but not sexy. Of course my daughters and I always have a difference of opinion on which is which. While they lived at home, Mama had the final say. Now that they are away at college, I can only hope they use good judgement.
Parents dont tell or make up their daughters minds on dress.... you dont LET them start wearing, you encourage them not to dress too risque for different reasons, but if like me at 16, Id get outside the door and shorten my skirt at the waistband to be in fashion at that time in the 60s not to be sexy..Girls will do it their way , changing what they wear at their friends house or whatever... kids want to be like the crowd usually and dont want left out... fads and silly fashions pass and they find their own style..
1) if you're daughter is already 17 and hasn't bought a pair of 'sexy' anything yet behind your back, I would be shocked.
2) the kind of underwear your daughter prefers to wear isn't going to make her become sexually active. If your daughter has internet access, she can find porn. If she is around other human beings, she can choose to become sexually active. We live in a sexualized society- just look at ANYTHING in the media. So unless she stays at home every single day with no internet or tv, she is going to be exposed to sex and sexuality. The underwear she chooses to wear is probably the least of your problems.
I understand this thinking. It's a really, really scary world out their for girls and young women who are subjected to the possible horrors of sexual assault. However, have you stopped to think that maybe it isn't fair that your daughters have to take responsibilities for the actions of men?
I would STRONGLY recommend that you all read this. The sad fact is that clothing choice will not protect your daughter from sexual assault. There are endless testimonies and stories online by women and girls who have been assaulted in their PJs, in jeans and a t-shirt, in their house clothes, in their work clothes. Clothing won't keep the "bad boys" away. But telling her that it will sends a very dangerous message.
If your daughter is assaulted and you've told her that x, y, and z could lead to that assault, she is going to blame herself. But she didn't make someone else rape her. That simply isn't possible. You can't 'want' to be raped because rape is unwanted by definition. So can it be her fault if someone else decides its okay to violate her body, REGARDLESS of the clothing she wears, the way she carries herself, or the situation she is in?
The girls who get caught in victim-blaming suffer deeply. They hurt themselves, the suffer from untreated PTSD because they feel they deserve it, they even commit suicide. Maybe you think I'm blowing this out of proportion but when every 2 minutes a american is assaulted, it's extremely important that these survivors are told that its NOT their fault. Because the consequences of not doing so are devastating.
Not to mention that victim shaming/blaming may make the non-reporting problem worse (victim of assault not reporting to police). The perpetrator shouldn't be out on the loose to find the next victim.
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