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She told me how awful her skin looked and I didn't believe her until she showed me.
It was awful - nothing like you see on my 600lb life, but close. Her belly was like a deflated balloon.
She got a tummy tuck but afterward said she would NEVER have done it if she'd appreciated how much pain was involved. She would've just put up with the flab.
Fast forward a couple of years and allegedly shed put all that weight back on. Depressing.
I understand what the person who made the "pathetic" comment was getting at, though.
When you can see evidence, it reveals a vulnerability. It's like the time I was watching a powerful female CEO speak, and I could see the outline of Spanx under her expensive, tailored suit pants.
For a moment, I felt a little bit of pity, like, "Aw, she's as human as the rest of us. She hates her cellulite, too."
Seeing evidence of a face lift brings up the same feelings, like, "Really? You've got all that going for you, and you're worried about THAT?"
Right or wrong, it does make you think differently about someone.
I
When you can see evidence, it reveals a vulnerability. It's like the time I was watching a powerful female CEO speak, and I could see the outline of Spanx under her expensive, tailored suit pants.
For a moment, I felt a little bit of pity, like, "Aw, she's as human as the rest of us. She hates her cellulite, too."
See, to me, this doesn't bring up pity, at all. It just makes me think, "Eh, see, people are human, everybody's got their issues."
My wife had botox and I never even noticed any difference with her appearance and wouldn't have even known until the dermatologists office accidentally sent me her bill addressed to me instead of her. 2600 dollars to try to make an incredibly gorgeous woman look better? Now I am the one in need of the botox to get rid of the frown lines after seeing the bill. Completely unnecessary and ridiculous, I realize a woman wants to look and feel her best, but my wife is gorgeous and truly doesn't need it.
Here the thing some men do not understand: your wife looks gorgeous because she HAS BEEN DOING BOTOX. Because without Botox all those wrinkles become "static", set into skin and after that Botox will not help. Botox helps do not wrinkle, for example, forehead, so it stays smooth without wrinkles. I started doing Botox at 45 and good that I did. Now at almost 50 my face is wrinkle free. My ex also told me I am gorgeous and young looking and I do not need anything done. Well, he did not know I was doing Botox every 3 month and that is why I look good
Here the thing some men do not understand: your wife looks gorgeous because she HAS BEEN DOING BOTOX. Because without Botox all those wrinkles become "static", set into skin and after that Botox will not help. Botox helps do not wrinkle, for example, forehead, so it stays smooth without wrinkles. I started doing Botox at 45 and good that I did. Now at almost 50 my face is wrinkle free. My ex also told me I am gorgeous and young looking and I do not need anything done. Well, he did not know I was doing Botox every 3 month and that is why I look good
I don't have stretch marks. My abs are ripped apart.
And if I can prevent wrinkles, why not?
....because you look silly?.....
or SEEM silly, because you are falling for the "wrinkles are bad" lie of the 21st C?
Yeah, I don't think id do it because I want to wear my wrinkles. Id be too scared of looking like Mutton dressed as Lamb. I want people to respect me.
We all know them - think Real Housewives - they may be smooth and wrinkle free but they look like silly old women regardless!
On the other hand I fully support your right to do whatever you want to your own body and some people get work that is nothing less than ART.
Just not for me...but then, I was a plain child so I got used to not looking good, way back when. Ive got much better with age so I suppose I'm not frightened of ageing.
As I mentioned in my post, I lost a lot of weight very quickly years ago, and my skin didn't bounce back completely. I felt great on the inside, why not fix the few flaws I perceived on the outside to match?
I will always be flawed, physically and otherwise. But after having these procedures, it's much easier to find clothes that fit well, and I'm more comfortable in shorts or a bathing suit. Since I love being outdoors, and live in a warm climate, it made sense to me.
I understand that cosmetic surgery isn't for everyone. But I think calling someone "pathetic" for choosing it, without understanding them more completely as a person, is uncharitable, at best.
I think that any point of view can be valid. Poststructuralist, postmodern, feminist, what have you. I don't feel dominated by any societal pressure to look a certain way.
You don't have to justify why you want a procedure done....it's your life, your body and your money. There will be a subset of people who think you're pathetic for doing it, and a subset of people who will judge you for not doing something to fix perceived flaws.
I say f'em....do what you want and what makes you happy and you owe nobody an apology or a justification for it.
I just think, hey, good for her...she's (presumably) managed to be professionally successful, respected, and advanced in her field despite having chunky thighs/crow's feet/whatever else. Guess it's not the big deal and life-hindering thing people sometimes make it out to be.
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