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She tried to make a huge deal out of it ?? By sharing it with her friends online? Do people not understand how Facebook works? She wasn't out there askin people to share it, she wasn't posting it on Dillard websites, or on other blogs about body shaming. All she did was make a picture of her daughter and their experience a single status. The fact it went viral actually has very little to do with them.
So if you throw your laundry out of a 20th floor window, the fact that it ends up all over the city has very little to do with you.
Agreed - it's absolutely ridiculous that people have taken this story as an invitation to comment on the physical build of a 13-year-old. And people sure have some strong opinions about what kind of undergarments this young teen should put on!
I'm pretty appalled that the girl's mother put this on the internet with a picture in the first place. That is 100% an invitation to comment on the girl's body--her own mother started it. I believe she only expected comments agreeing with her about how terrific her daughter looked, though.
So if you throw your laundry out of a 20th floor window, the fact that it ends up all over the city has very little to do with you.
I am going to assume you know that is completely apples to oranges.
A more apt laundry analogy would be hanging the laundry up on a line and a tornado coming along and picking it up and spreading it all over the city. Like hanging your laundry out, a reasonable person assumes a single post shared on a personal fb page would mostly stay there, much like the laundry usually stays on the line. But we all know it's possible for it to get shared everywhere just like it's possible for a storm to toss you laundry all over. Both are just highly unlikely.
But to be fair both mom and the daughter are not complaining or doing anything other than expressing gratitude at the kind words of many and astonishment that their personal story became such a viral sensation.
That dress is inappropriate for a young teen; spandex or no spandex. Way too sexy for her age. Looks like something Mariah or JLo would wear. How old are they? The clerk should have suggested a dress more suited to a TEENAGER, not a Hollywood Celebrity.
My take is that the mother is looking for attention; both from her story and the picture of her daughter. Does Mom really want the KIND of attention that dress on her daughter will get? I think most mothers, and FATHERS, will know what I mean. Any Dads of young daughters care to comment?
The problem is with the DRESS, not her body size, nor spandex.
I'm pretty appalled that the girl's mother put this on the internet with a picture in the first place. That is 100% an invitation to comment on the girl's body--her own mother started it. I believe she only expected comments agreeing with her about how terrific her daughter looked, though.
Why would you be appalled? She asked her daughter, who agreed, and bother feel empowered by the post.
When it comes to these types of issues we have a tendency to victim blame. If someone posts an unflattering picture we seem to have a "they asked for it" mentality. Especially when it comes to young women. But why? Why is their zero expectation or responsibility for those who say horrible things, particularly horrible things they haven't the courage to say to the person in real life. I suppose it is out of protection for our children's feelings but standing up and saying "no this is what I actually look like and that is ok" is very empowering. Just look at this child and her mother.
How can we as a society complain about how airbrushed and fake they make even the nearly flawless look on one hand and then on the other hand say we need to stuff away parts of a perfectly normal 13 yo middle schooler. This is why girls are confused and lack self esteem. Because NONE of that is done to boys on even remotely the same scale.
That dress is inappropriate for a young teen; spandex or no spandex. Way too sexy for her age. Looks like something Mariah or JLo would wear. How old are they? The clerk should have suggested a dress more suited to a TEENAGER, not a Hollywood Celebrity.
My take is that the mother is looking for attention; both from her story and the picture of her daughter. Does Mom really want the KIND of attention that dress on her daughter will get? I think most mothers, and FATHERS, will know what I mean.
The problem is with the DRESS, not her body size, nor spandex.
If you read the article, the teen herself stated the same thing and just put the dress on to humor her mother.
Do we really want to teach our girls that only flattering pictures or videos or whatever of them are allowed to exist? Do we really want to teach them if they wear a tight dress the are "asking for it" whatever it means?
How many of us know women who hide from pictures because they don't want to be seen as anything less than perfect? Well this is where that fear starts. I have a friend who has not lost all of her baby weight. She has no pictures of herself with her son. She hides during parties. And it's sad. Those of us who know her want memories of her despite 15lbs. One of my students lost his mom when he was younger and has no pictures of them together because her always hid from the camera. Because she had been taught by society, just like the rest of us, that unless we look perfect we shouldn't have pictures of us taken or shared. That is a tragedy.
The so called "fat shaming" didn't start until the mom exposed her poor kid on facebook.
The store person was just trying to be helpful, making a girl look pretty.
She does look pretty. Like a pretty 13 yo in a dress that she just wore to humor her mom. As soon as her mom said no thank you to the offer of spanx that should have been the end of it. The shaming came because it went on and the sales woman continued to argue with the mother and talk disparagingly not of the fit if the dress but of the 13yos BODY. Those are very different things.
And good for the mom for showing her daughter that it's ok to say someone doesn't have the authority to say what is or is not correct for her body.
She tried to make a huge deal out of it ?? By sharing it with her friends online? Do people not understand how Facebook works? She wasn't out there askin people to share it, she wasn't posting it on Dillard websites, or on other blogs about body shaming. All she did was make a picture of her daughter and their experience a single status. The fact it went viral actually has very little to do with them.
I guess people don't. Because I don't know how many times people post things on Facebook for their friends only for it to end up viral.
And her FB page is not private---not at all---so anyone, anywhere can access her experience at Dillard's---which is probably why that posting directly from her has almost 500K likes and almost 90K shares.
I'm pretty appalled that the girl's mother put this on the internet with a picture in the first place. That is 100% an invitation to comment on the girl's body--her own mother started it. I believe she only expected comments agreeing with her about how terrific her daughter looked, though.
No doubt. Mom complains that the saleswoman "body shames" her, then splashes her pic all over the Web. Smh. As a member of Gen X, I find absolutely nothing wrong with anyone suggesting a girdle (and it's a girdle, ladies). I 100% agree with the videos OP posted. You want to look classy in a dress? Wear a girdle underneath. Times have changed, but comfort is not the way to go if you're going to a formal party. Casual events are different than parties. Parties are all about how you look, and your dress, hair, and makeup will be checked out by the other attendees, not to mention yourself. I don't go out in a dress without a girdle, and I work out like crazy. But the lumps, bumps and cellulite are still there, and I don't like to jiggle
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