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It's perfectly appropriate for a midde schooler to wear a bra, especially if the girl is busty, so yes, it's appropriate for a saleswoman to suggest undergarments to wear with formal dresses. It's also appropriate for girls to wear panties and hosiery with dresses. But in our PC world, it's much better for people to act like shrinking violets for fear of "offending" someone's delicate sensibilities.
I was referring to people on the thread. The number of adults on this thread who have apparently strong opinions regarding what barely pubescent children should do to make their figures more appealing is, quite frankly, disturbing.
I think the root of this is because the girl goes in to buy a sexy dress, and is then offered advice on how to look her best. Which is obviously going to be looking slimmer. Because obese and sexy are contradictory terms.
Her mom then flips out over being told the truth.
I only see obese women doing this when told the truth.
I don't see *any* other group of people doing this.
I don't see low income people flipping out when they're told they make less money than Michael Bloomberg, and demanding they be referred to as "rich".
I don't see men under 5'5" in height, demanding everyone say they are equal in height to an NBA player and that they be called "tall".
I don't see deaf people demanding people say that they can hear.
Yet I *do* see obese women demanding that everyone tell her she looks just as good as an attractive woman. She doesn't. It's not like this was someone walking up to modestly dressed fat women and heckling her. Simply stating that a deaf person cannot hear is not offensive. It is a fact. So too is saying that a fat woman would look better if she were thinner. And I specify women here, because I don't see fat guys wigging out and claiming that George R.R. Martin is just as good looking as Ryan Gosling. This is specific not to fat people, but fat women. They want everyone to say that Gilbert Grape's mom, and Bruce Jenner in a wig are every bit as attractive as Ariana Grande, because "every woman is equally beautiful". This is an obvious untruth.
So the question I ask is, why is it that obese women should be able to demand that everyone lie and pretend things are untrue, but only for them?
Your analogies don't hold up because "rich," "tall" and "deaf" are all generally quantifiable, while "sexy" is purely subjective.
I was referring to people on the thread. The number of adults on this thread who have apparently strong opinions regarding what barely pubescent children should do to make their figures more appealing is, quite frankly, disturbing.
For that matter, so was the dress she was wearing.
It's perfectly appropriate for a midde schooler to wear a bra, especially if the girl is busty, so yes, it's appropriate for a saleswoman to suggest undergarments to wear with formal dresses. It's also appropriate for girls to wear panties and hosiery with dresses. But in our PC world, it's much better for people to act like shrinking violets for fear of "offending" someone's delicate sensibilities.
Seriously I know you posted that false study in another thread but you have to realize that wearing a bra is more UNIFORMLY ACCEPTED in this society as being a NECESSITY especially if she is busty out of sheer modesty AND comfort than it would be compared to Spanx which is a TOTALLY OPTIONAL GARMENT designed to cover up and disguise an "imperfect" body. When women don't wear bras it is usually to make a statement, or because they are smaller chested and showing off a lot of clevage in a racy gown, or they are what many would consider slovenly or unkempt...not what the typical 13 year old is trying to attain.
I seriously doubt this article would gotten this much play if the salesclerk had just suggested she put a bra on....unless it was one of those +2cups VS jobs.
The CHILD in questions absolutely could be fit. Children frequently go through phases of putting on weight and growing through it and a 13 yo is in all likelihood still growing. In fact it is the years grow the most.
My own daughter, who ended up a stately 5'10 and 130lbs at 21 would frequently gain 15lbs or so before going on a growth spurt and then slim back down. The entire time, with pudge or no pudge (as she calls it), she would be "fit". She surfed on a team, played varsity soccer and ran everyday with the team.
Focusing on weight in a middle schooler is a mistake. And yes, it is absolutely more important to focus on fitness at that age than the number on the scale or the "chunk" around the middle.
Not arguing this at all. Completely agree that weight can settle oddly on growing kids during various growth cycles.
But people seem to jump to this random, irrelevant "I'm fit!" bandwagon whenever confronted with lying outside their ideal weight.
And thinking "fitness" mitigates poor-eating and weight-related health risks at any age is delusional.
Not arguing this at all. Completely agree that weight can settle oddly on growing kids during various growth cycles.
But people seem to jump to this random, irrelevant "I'm fit!" bandwagon whenever confronted with lying outside their ideal weight.
And thinking "fitness" mitigates poor-eating and weight-related health risks at any age is delusional.
Internet wizards that think they can diagnose, summarize and speak from authority on the body composition, chemistry and nutrition level of another human just by looking at one picture of them are even worse.
Not arguing this at all. Completely agree that weight can settle oddly on growing kids during various growth cycles.
But people seem to jump to this random, irrelevant "I'm fit!" bandwagon whenever confronted with lying outside their ideal weight.
And thinking "fitness" mitigates poor-eating and weight-related health risks at any age is delusional.
Who cares if she it fit or not? She is overweight, has cellulite on her upper arms which suggest she is chubby since she was a small child.
It doesn't matter if she is fit, it doesn't make a difference in the argument - the store clerk wanted to make a sale and the mother blew it out of proportion and chose to make it public and ruin her daughters life for now and maybe forever. I would have wanted to die being exploited on facebook if I was that poor kid.
That's fine and all but the article specifically says Spanx. And Spanx are marketed to make (big) women look slimmer and "better" in their clothes. So it is no shock to me that this woman could instantly go on the defensive if someone dare intimate that her daughter is fat by suggesting that she try that product.
I'm not saying that it is right or justified but that there are people out there looking to be upset or offended.
Actually Spanx gained notoriety with celebrities. Their initial sizing was meant for people under size 14 or so. Then they exploded and were sold everywhere. They really just reintroduced "modern" women to girdles. They had fallen out of favor after the 70s or so. Now there are lots of types of shape wear, Spanx is one of tube luxury brands.
It's perfectly appropriate for a midde schooler to wear a bra, especially if the girl is busty, so yes, it's appropriate for a saleswoman to suggest undergarments to wear with formal dresses. It's also appropriate for girls to wear panties and hosiery with dresses. But in our PC world, it's much better for people to act like shrinking violets for fear of "offending" someone's delicate sensibilities.
You continue to ignore the fact that the mother wasn't annoyed by the offer but when the offer was rejected the sales person made comments about the child's body.
If you took your daughter to get clothes and the woman suggested a better bra and you said no thanks; if the sales person went on to make comments about how saggy your daughters breasts were you wouldn't be offended? What if they continued to argue with you about your daughters saggy misshapen breasts while you were leaving the store in front of your daughter? That wouldn't bother you?
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