Finally my chance to leave SoFL, but I ended up falling in love (advice) (Miami: how much, find a job) - Fort Lauderdale area - Florida -Broward County - City-Data Forum

thatboybigbFL · 03-04-2013, 05:57 PM

So here's the deal, im a good looking tall 29 year old guy here in Fort Lauderdale. It was back in 07 that I first moved to Miami, realized what a mess that city was, and came out to Lauderdale. I have loved the tropical climate and have had many great times here in South FL, but I believe it was about three years in that I realized, "I need to leave South Florida." Don't get me wrong, I was having a blast. I had a great gf for a couple years, I still partied, then she moved away, and I partied even more. I always had a job, but none of my jobs, including my current job, ever paid me to well. I also noticed that the people down here are very rude, or too crazy, and that none of the women were too down to earth. I've just known for a couple years now that I need to go somewhere a little more American and a little more down to earth people with a better economy. The economy thing is prob biggest factor. The prob was I never had the money to do it.

So now, finally, I have the money to go and move to a new city. I'm just ready for something new. Five years is enough of being here. Another big reason I wanted to move is cuz I thought I'd never find a cool, down to earth chick here that would love me unconditionally and always be there for me. As it turns out, she came into my life about six months ago. She is a great gf and now my heart is all in a twist, because half of me is like "its now or never, or else you'll be stuck down here forever," and another half of me is like "Your love of your life is here, you cant leave her"

My fam always helped me out with a couple hundred dollars a month just so I could live without too much stress, but my mom just told me she's done helping me out for good, which gives me even more inclination to try to get into a city with a better economic climate and more going on. My gf tells me she'll help support me if need be, but I'm really just curious as to what other people would do in this situation.

VegasBeauty · 03-04-2013, 06:57 PM

It's a tough call. I say go with your plan because if your relationship doesn't work out, you might have missed an opportunity to be happy elsewhere and possibly meet someone else. Even though she said she's willing to help you, God forbid you have a falling out with her, you know any financial help is going to be cut off with her too. See if she'll move with you. If you're both serious about being together she'll take a chance. Otherwise, if its meant to be then it'll be. If it doesn't work out where you're trying to locate then I'm sure your family would help you move back home. You're still a young guy, you say you're attractive so all hope isn't really lost if you don't stay home. But it depends on where you're moving too. Good luck!

cfbs2691 · 03-04-2013, 07:01 PM

Leave. You won't feel like yourself until you are financially independent.
Sorry if that's not what you want to hear.
Best of luck!

LookingHome · 03-04-2013, 07:19 PM

Are you at a place in the relationship where she's willing to take a leap of faith and move too?

Or...In my situation hubby and I met when he was almost done with grad school, and he got his job back home. We were dating about 7 months. So, we dated long distance for a year and the I moved to where he was. Engaged. Married. 3 kids later!

jhlcomp · 03-04-2013, 07:57 PM

You want to move to a place that is a little more "American"??? Ok.

Move, by all means. Find a job in a new city, take some time to grow up (no insult intrnded), and get financially stable and independent. If you and your new girlfriend are meant to be a little bit of time apart won't be a huge sacrifice. But this i can promise you, if you never go after your dream you will regret it the rest of your life. Go for it!

thatboybigbFL · 03-04-2013, 09:25 PM

Sorry, no need to offend anyone with the "American" comment. It's just that everyone knows South FL is a very unique place both in culture and physical aesthetics. I actually enjoy all of the different cultures that live in South FL that, yes, are very un-American, which is somewhat dif for me coming from the city of Chicago, which is considered to be the very heart of American soul, grit, and infrastructure. I am not a big fan of Chicago, either. I guess I'm searching for a middle Sun Belt city. In the the end, it is based on economics, and Miami's known weak economy and sheer rudeness between common folks, make this place somewhat of a bitter sweet purgatory full of heavenly bliss but hauntd by the devil's greed and misery.

Jerseys Rants · 03-05-2013, 03:22 PM

Sooooooo many factors to this..

If she does not move with you, Long distance relationships do not work I've tried twice.. The purpose for a relationship is to be together not apart 99.9% of the time.. There is always visiting but seriously you will see each other for a few days before they or you have to leave again ?

And if she does move with you.. Now its you and her in the same house/apt all the time and to be fair its only been six months.. And that is nothing for a relationship to even bud let alone start to grow, hell even a year is still questionable.. Then will she be happy ? If one is happy and the other is not that is a huge strain in the relationship itself..

In My own opinion, you got a great chick why not let the relationship get stronger stay here enjoy your time with her an see where it goes.. And save even more money..

You are only 29 you still have plenty of time.. Who knows she might be the one but you will never know because you left no matter how much you love someone we still need to be with somebody and when they are miles away when they didn't have to be not now but eventually the love fades phone calls only do so much

cfbs2691 · 03-05-2013, 03:54 PM

Go with your gut.

TXRyan23 · 03-05-2013, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thatboybigbFL

So here's the deal, im a good looking tall 29 year old guy here in Fort Lauderdale. It was back in 07 that I first moved to Miami, realized what a mess that city was, and came out to Lauderdale. I have loved the tropical climate and have had many great times here in South FL, but I believe it was about three years in that I realized, "I need to leave South Florida." Don't get me wrong, I was having a blast. I had a great gf for a couple years, I still partied, then she moved away, and I partied even more. I always had a job, but none of my jobs, including my current job, ever paid me to well. I also noticed that the people down here are very rude, or too crazy, and that none of the women were too down to earth. I've just known for a couple years now that I need to go somewhere a little more American and a little more down to earth people with a better economy. The economy thing is prob biggest factor. The prob was I never had the money to do it.

So now, finally, I have the money to go and move to a new city. I'm just ready for something new. Five years is enough of being here. Another big reason I wanted to move is cuz I thought I'd never find a cool, down to earth chick here that would love me unconditionally and always be there for me. As it turns out, she came into my life about six months ago. She is a great gf and now my heart is all in a twist, because half of me is like "its now or never, or else you'll be stuck down here forever," and another half of me is like "Your love of your life is here, you cant leave her"

My fam always helped me out with a couple hundred dollars a month just so I could live without too much stress, but my mom just told me she's done helping me out for good, which gives me even more inclination to try to get into a city with a better economic climate and more going on. My gf tells me she'll help support me if need be, but I'm really just curious as to what other people would do in this situation.

You need to leave South Florida. As you've stated, you can't really make it down there and having your g/f help to support you is a recipe for disaster in the future.

The best thing you can do is sit down and talk with her about your ideas for relocation and your reasons why. If it's meant to be with you and her, then maybe she'll go with you. If not, you need to get into a place and position where you're financially stable, THEN find the girl of your dreams. Trust me, good women are hard to find, but they do exist in more places than one.

Good luck!

SassySpice · 03-05-2013, 04:12 PM

Man up! Just look at ya needing the financial support from your mother & now your gf, where's your pride & dignity? You're no kid anymore, you're a full grown man who in a few yrs will be approaching middleage. Learn to stand on your own 2 feet, scale back on all that partying & perhaps your lifestyle. You've only been in this relationship for 6 months so you don't have any real commitment to this woman yet so if moving is what it takes for you to be accountable & responsible then do it.