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A co-worker is retiring and someone on his immediate work group has sent out emailed invitations to named individuals to the retirement dinner at a local restaurant.
I went on-line to review the menu and the meals run $20-40!
Now I called the person who is coordinating this and she informed me that they also plan to pay for his wife and his son's dinner. They figured their total to be around $150.
She then tells me that not everyone invited has responded that they are coming.
After thinking over this, I am having second thoughts about going myself.
I mean, I never go out and spend this much on a meal for myself so why should I shell out more $$ paying for the retiree and his wife and his 30-yr old son (still lives at home). I figure it might add another $15 to my dinner.
Normally, I would just retract my invitation but problem is me and the retiree share commutes together over the past 2 years and we've gotten to be sort of pals.
Open to suggestions/thoughts on how to handle this one; by the way, the dinner is in 2 days.
Is that the end of it? I mean, are you expected to bring a gift or does the dinner cover that? Could you look at the $15 as your send off to the co-worker?
I wouldn't think twice about it. I'd go, order one of the least expensive dishes, take plenty of cash to pay your bill and your share of the retiree and wife's dinner. This is the person you rode with.
Normally, I would just retract my invitation but problem is me and the retiree share commutes together over the past 2 years and we've gotten to be sort of pals.
Cheap is relative. Don't see the problem OP. You are either willing to contribute to a friend's celebration of one of life's bigger events or you aren't.
If the cost of a single restaurant meal for yourself bothers you, just order an appetizer or a beverage and enjoy the party.
If you don't want to pitch in to pay for anyone else's meal, don't. Just be aware that if you show up and don't participate in the check, that makes it even more expensive for others who do. Doesn't sound as if there is any minimum contribution expected. You can just show up as a warm body and pitch in a couple of dollars, but others will probably view you as cheap if that becomes obvious while settling up the table bill. Consider if the organizers don't get enough participants the whole party idea could be abandoned, or they might modify who's meals will be paid for. You could end up off the hook.
If you can't bring yourself to pay for anyone's food at all, decline the invitation and send your co-worker a card. You don't need to give an excuse...probably better not to. Your friend might end up being puzzled because you didn't attend their party, but they're retiring...is it likely they'll ever see you again? Maybe they won't miss you.
Last edited by Parnassia; 02-05-2023 at 04:28 PM..
I'd only chip in for a retirement gift/dinner if I liked the person and that seems to be the case with you. Paying for the wife and son as well seems kind of weird but if you're on pretty good terms with this guy, I'd probably say okay to it. $20-40 for a meal doesn't seem unreasonable either but of course everyone's financial situation is different. Only you can decide if the extra expense is worth it based on your relationship with the person.
A co-worker is retiring and someone on his immediate work group has sent out emailed invitations to named individuals to the retirement dinner at a local restaurant.
I went on-line to review the menu and the meals run $20-40!
Now I called the person who is coordinating this and she informed me that they also plan to pay for his wife and his son's dinner. They figured their total to be around $150.
She then tells me that not everyone invited has responded that they are coming.
After thinking over this, I am having second thoughts about going myself.
I mean, I never go out and spend this much on a meal for myself so why should I shell out more $$ paying for the retiree and his wife and his 30-yr old son (still lives at home). I figure it might add another $15 to my dinner.
Normally, I would just retract my invitation but problem is me and the retiree share commutes together over the past 2 years and we've gotten to be sort of pals.
Open to suggestions/thoughts on how to handle this one; by the way, the dinner is in 2 days.
Easy Peasy. Don't RSVP. Don't go. Send a card to him congratulating him on his retirement.
You can offer an inexpensive gift, maybe something you can cook that is inexpensive.
That's what it costs these days to go to a nice restaurant.
You could suggest a change to Burger King, but that probably won't go over well.
It really depends on you, and your feelings about this guy and your team at work. If you like these people and want to spend a little to get to know them better and wish your co-worker well in his retirement, then go... and have a good time. Splurge a little.
If you don't really like these people or want to feel like part of the group, then don't go.
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