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HI, first I am not sure if this is the right forum or site to post this, i just googled "life decisions forums" and it brought me here ..
So here is whats going on with me, and I am going crazy over this i cant sleep!!!
I am 25 years old, living in a third world country (not my own country) with my close family , I have good pay job, and I have a girlfriend that I love.
I have got a scholarship next year in Europe to do my post grad. studies, I have always wanted to complete Masters in my field.
The job that i have now pays well, but it is like stuck right now, there is noway of me moving forward up the ladder, if i decided to stay i will stay where I am even for the next 5 years unless i look for another job.
I love my girlfriend, and she loves me.
So if I decided to go do my Masters, I will have to give up my girlfriend (We have been together for the last 4 years! I cant imagine how my life would be without her ) and give up the job that I am in.
While i will get to realize my dream of completing masters in my fields and get to know new people / new culture, .. etc.
If i decided to not go, .... well i will get to keep everything i have right now, but I will not be able to complete the masters and go abroad.
I am not looking for answers, I am just looking for an outsiders (non-biased) opinion about this, because obviously if I talked to my family and friends they would advice me to stay.
my mind is telling me to go my heart is telling me to stay, .. I am torn apart!
Why would you have to give up your girl-friend? Can't you do a long-distance relationship for a year or two? They're hard, but sometimes they work.
I would do the master's (I know, easy for me to say!). If you stay where you are, you may end up bitter & resentful in a few years because you are stuck in a dead-end job.
Why would you have to give up your girl-friend? Can't you do a long-distance relationship for a year or two? They're hard, but sometimes they work.
I would do the master's (I know, easy for me to say!). If you stay where you are, you may end up bitter & resentful in a few years because you are stuck in a dead-end job.
Problem is, I think I forgot to mention this, right now I am not in my home country, i have been living here for about 8 years but its not my home and if i went for masters outside the country there is a slim chance that I am going to be back here and find a job here, and I am not even sure how things would pan out after i complete the masters ...
Is there a way you can get your masters virtually? I have friends who completed their graduate degrees online. Otherwise, I have to say that getting your education takes precedence. Especially if you have a scholarship. How often is that opportunity going to come your way? If you really, really want to, you'll be able to make your relationship with your girlfriend work out.
It's a hard thing to think about, but how will you feel if you let the opportunity pass you by and then something happens to your relationship where you are no longer with your girlfriend?
I am not sure if this is financially do-able, as the scholarship is for me only, I will have to pay everything from my own pocket, and europe isnt cheap sadly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2ForTheSea
Is there a way you can get your masters virtually? I have friends who completed their graduate degrees online. Otherwise, I have to say that getting your education takes precedence. Especially if you have a scholarship. How often is that opportunity going to come your way? If you really, really want to, you'll be able to make your relationship with your girlfriend work out.
It's a hard thing to think about, but how will you feel if you let the opportunity pass you by and then something happens to your relationship where you are no longer with your girlfriend?
wooo I havent thought about this before (what would happen if we broke up) .. ouch! i would probably blame myself for being an idiot for the rest of my pathetic life
alright i think i got things a bit clearer right now, i think I am going to make the scholarship a priority and my relationship a secondary priority and try to make things work out, it would kill me to leave my gf for education, but it would kill me twice if i left the scholarship for my relationship and then things didnt work out.
thank you for your input guys, I am so glad i posted my issue here as things are a bit clearer to me now then before
I had a secure job in another state about twenty years ago, but, at night I would dream that I had died at my desk and no one noticed. I'm no rocket scientist, but even I can figure that one out. Leaving the secure and known had its emotional challenges but the best sight I ever saw was Phoenix in my rear view mirror. Your dreams are telling you what you need.
Sometimes, well meaning people will tell you what is right for them but not necessarily what is right for your own soul. Ask yourself whether people are affraid to lose you or fear change in their lives which would motivate them to want you to stay. When you ask older people what they regret the most, it is usually things they didn't do.
You are young and might never again have the oportunity for this scholarship. No one knows what the future will bring, so you alone must be prepared to meet its challenges. If you girlfriend can't or won't follow you while you get more education then maybe the two of you should have a discussion about your future. Two years out of a lifetime really isn't that much to ask of her. What would you do if she had the opportunity now before you?
There are tons of women in the world. I suggest you focus on your educational opportunities...but that is my value. I don't think that giving up a chance for world travel, increased education, and increased earning potential should be discounted to stay with a girlfriend you have had for four years...After all, relationships don't last...but investing in yourself is always a sure fire bet.
I also think it would be a good idea and a great opportunity to obtain your masters, especially with a scholarship. As corny as it sounds and not so easy to listen to, if the relationship is meant to be, it will happen. You will most likely never get the opportunity to follow your educational dreams and open so many doors. I wish you the best of luck in your search, where ever it may take you.
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