Gay couple moving to New England (high crime, lawyers, townhouse)
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Hi everyone! We are an early 30s gay couple looking to move from the southeast to the New England area next year. Just looking for suggestions on cities to move to. We really want to be in a more liberal area that is more gay friendly and accepting (as in we have been in the south too long and want out— No pickups with MAGA and stars & bars bumper stickers). We are looking into adoption in the next couple years. Just want somewhere where we can start a family and not feel way too abnormal about it like in the south. Not afraid of the winter. Prefer a somewhat medium sized city. Don’t want to be too far out in the country but not in too big of a city. I would prefer closer to the coast. We want to be able to live comfortably so not extremely expensive. We will be making in the low to mid $200k/year together. We have primarily been interested in New Hampshire, Connecticut, and Massachusetts, but any and all suggestions appreciated!
First of all congrats on your upcoming move. New England is one of the greatest areas in the country to live. I grew up in CT and also spent some time living in the Boston area. I’m in florida now with my partner and we are planning to move back up north soon.
The gay thing is really a non-issue. All of New England is pretty liberal and has a live and let live attitude. It’s definitely harder to find a conservative part of New England than a liberal one, so I would suggest just pick an area you think you will like the most. You guys will have a great income so you can pretty much choose anywhere in the area.
Connecticut has beautiful suburbs, but all of its cities are pretty rough with high crime and poverty. Honestly CT is my least favorite state in the area. However I prefer bigger cities so to me CT is quite boring. You guys might really like it though. You could also live somewhere in the Boston area. I know you don’t want to be in a big city, but Boston also has some of the nices towns and suburbs in the country. I am partial to the north shore, quintessential New England charm with so many cool coastal towns with amazing character. Boston also has a great subway/rail system and you can hop to Boston from most north shore towns which eliminates the hassle of driving.
New Hampshire is also quite beautiful but very small. I’m actually not super familiar with it outside of Portsmouth which is one of my favorite New England cities. If you have never checked it out I highly recommend doing so.
I guess one question is what type of home are you looking for? Do you want a big house with lots of land, or do you prefer to be in a more walkable downtown kind of area? Are you ok with a townhouse or do you prefer single family homes? It really just depends on what kind of lifestyle you are looking for. The awesome thing about New England is no matter what you are looking for it has it all available for you!
If you are ok with 4 seasons then I think you will love it there. Another awesome thing about New England is that you are so close to so many cool areas. So even if you live in CT, you can be in Boston in less than 2 hours, or take a day trip to Maine or weekend vacation in cape cod. It’s really an amazing place to live.
You wouldn't have any problems in RI. I've never seen a MAGA sticker. And my brother and his partner of about 25 years live in Cambridge, MA. It's just not something to think about around here.
And Traveler is right. Here in RI you can be in NYC in about 3 hours, Boston in about an hour, the beach in no time; lakes, woods, culture. And you can be in the Berkshires in about 2 hours and the White Mountains in NH is about 3 hours.
Now if you want to buy a home it might be more than you're used to and property taxes might send you to some kind of septic shock. But there are plenty of hospitals in town and even more in Boston. They'll fix you right up.
I'd cast my vote for Massachusetts. The suburbs are incredible- Safe, progressive, well educated. The metrowest in particular is very affluent, but you'll see more Prius' than Bentleys. Loads of lawyers, doctors, tech executives, but somehow folks really buy into the come one come all, free culture. We have quite a few same sex couples in town that have adopted.. nobody thinks twice.
With your salary, I'm going to assume you'd like to stay <$600k. That will eliminate places like Cambridge or Brookline or Somerville (urban, inner ring suburbs). I'd consider looking at Newburyport/Andover to the north, Arlington/Bedford to the west. Bedford is quaint, but offers incredible access to everything that Burlington and Lexington offer. Ton of modern amenities, and a very safe environment for kids. I'd also suggest Westford/Acton/West Concord to the west if you're ok with smaller ~20-25k towns. All very very pretty, historic, progressive.
If you're not ready to really settle down, I'd look at Portsmouth, NH as a viable option. It's essentially a Boston suburb, and has a beautiful downtown. It's a hot spot for young professionals and new families, but has gotten a lot more expensive in the last few years. Your budget should get you in to a smaller, starter home.
I would put Burlington, VT on your list. Beautiful small (40k) city. City is liberal. Has a great farmer's market. 3.5 hour drive to Boston. 1.5 hour drive to Montreal. Quick flight to NYC. Outdoor activities like skiing, fishing, hiking, water sports, etc at your doorstep. Only downside given your criteria is proximity to the coast.
Another area I would suggest looking at would be the Upper Valley of NH/VT - Hanover/Lebanon/White River Junction. Another nice, beautiful area with lots going on.
Elsewhere in NH I would suggest Portsmouth. Along with Hanover, Portsmouth is one of my favorite towns in NH.
In Mass, I love the North Shore. Manchester By-The-Sea, Essex, Hamilton, Wenham, Rockport.
I would put Burlington, VT on your list. Beautiful small (40k) city. City is liberal. Has a great farmer's market. 3.5 hour drive to Boston. 1.5 hour drive to Montreal. Quick flight to NYC. Outdoor activities like skiing, fishing, hiking, water sports, etc at your doorstep. Only downside given your criteria is proximity to the coast.
Another area I would suggest looking at would be the Upper Valley of NH/VT - Hanover/Lebanon/White River Junction. Another nice, beautiful area with lots going on.
Elsewhere in NH I would suggest Portsmouth. Along with Hanover, Portsmouth is one of my favorite towns in NH.
In Mass, I love the North Shore. Manchester By-The-Sea, Essex, Hamilton, Wenham, Rockport.
Very true. Can't forget about Burlington.
As far as progressive areas in MA, not to my mirror my prior point, but I'd look west first followed the the north shore second. Between 3 N and 90 W and out through 495 fall some of the most liberal towns I've ever experienced. Certainly more so than the comparable Illinois towns, though they vote D as well.
People in New England stare with their mouths open at gay couples or visibly gay people, especially in triangular area area stretching from New London, CT in the southwest to New Bedford, MA in the southeast with a vertex of Worcester, MA. This area is NOT gay-friendly due to being very insular, very working-class and very Roman Catholic. You'd be better off in the more Protestant areas of Western Massachusetts or northern New England.
Being LGBT myself I would also suggest Burlington VT. In my travels I have found it to be very friendly toward the community and has a sizable well-integrated LGBT community, many being couples with children. If the coast is an absolute must-have it would be hard to go wrong with Portland ME, which has a vibe similar to Burlington.
Be sure to check out Provincetown, Mass in the summer months wherever you do end up.
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