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This has baffled me for a long time. Ive lived in many different cities and it takes forever to get into the heart and soul of those places. And that isn't just my opinion. I think there is a tendency for a community to sort of defend itself against people who just arrive and maybe arn't the type that a community wants to put up with. So they don't just let anybody into the inner core of the soul of the community. Of course the quickest way to get into the heart and soul of a community is to marry a local. Maybe reading the history of the place will give a person some idea. And maybe some people just have a knack for deciphering the local feelings etc. Any ideas.
Some communities are open to outsiders and others are not. When choosing a community, if you need one that is going to be more open to outsiders, try to find out what percentage of the residents moved in from out of state or at least out of the area. I've lived in my share of communities that don't like outsiders as well including some cities. But many small towns do accept outsiders but you have to do some homework on which will accept you.
Even if you marry a local it is no guarantee the local people will accept you. Over a decade ago I worked with a woman from Westerly, RI that married a guy from Milo, ME. When they moved to Milo it took her 8 months to find a job in a good economy and even after three years there she still was never fully accepted into the community.
I've lived in many places and was never considered an "outsider" until I moved into the Midwest.
Long Island and Orange County were the most open (probably because they are use to an influx of newcomers) Pittsburgh, Boston, DC and West Virginia were also very welcoming.
I currently live in the St. Louis Area. If I wasn't telecommuting to the home base in California, I would be up the creek.
The people in this neck of the woods are among the most parochial and insular people I have ever met. It doesn't make a difference if you have an award winning portfolio and national experience. All they care about is what high school did you attend. Then there is the fact that no one returns phone calls and emails around here.
Location: Went around the corner & now I'm lost!!!!
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Originally Posted by DinsdalePirahna
I've lived in many places and was never considered an "outsider" until I moved into the Midwest.
Long Island and Orange County were the most open (probably because they are use to an influx of newcomers) Pittsburgh, Boston, DC and West Virginia were also very welcoming.
I currently live in the St. Louis Area. If I wasn't telecommuting to the home base in California, I would be up the creek.
The people in this neck of the woods are among the most parochial and insular people I have ever met. It doesn't make a difference if you have an award winning portfolio and national experience. All they care about is what high school did you attend. Then there is the fact that no one returns phone calls and emails around here.
Mmmm, that's weird; maybe it depends on "where" you are in the Midwest. When I was in NW Indiana, the people were very friendly but when you went into Chicago you find a mix of bitter and the sweet people. I never experienced St louis. They may be suffering from economic "depression"; that's one reason why I left the region
I moved to Chicago without a job and not knowing a soul in the city. I was actually amazed at the speed that I made very close friends, fell in love with the city on a personal basis, and within weeks felt a close tie with the area.
Within 3 years of moving here I felt extremely connected to the area regardless of if I ever moved away, and now after being here for 9 years - I almost feel like a native.
Not surprised to hear the story about St. Louis. I'm acquainted with a woman in her mid 40's from Altoona, PA that lived in St. Louis for a while and she used even more unsavory descriptions to describe the people of that region.
Currently I live in Kansas City and I've never felt so unwelcome in any other community that I've lived as I have here with the exception of one rural western Kansas town where I spent a grand total of about a month before leaving. Not all the towns in that area are not like that though. In any event, I've had enough of the pinheads in the KC area and plan to relocate in the upcoming year once I decide where to move.
I have a friend that is originally from Alabama and his wife is from Nebraska. They've also lived in a number of different regions including Kansas City. Both of them explained to me what the problem is with this area and I can offer their explanation to you which in turn may help Angorlee to find a community that does not have this issue. According to my friends the problem with this area is that most of the people in the KC area are in bred. Seems logical since only a small % of the population originates from another area of the country or world. In breds don't like outsiders and don't want them in their community. We upset the apple cart because we don't walk, talk, think, look or act like they do. It makes them become paranoid and uncomfortable because they are insecure and weak.
I guess this just reinforces my original suggestion. When researching communities that interest you, make sure you find out what % of the population has moved in from other parts of the country. I suspect the higher number of outsiders in a community will translate into a more welcoming community to call home. You can find pockets of welcoming neighborhoods or communities in otherwise parochial areas but you will just have to know how to find them.
Not surprised to hear the story about St. Louis. I'm acquainted with a woman in her mid 40's from Altoona, PA that lived in St. Louis for a while and she used even more unsavory descriptions to describe the people of that region.
Currently I live in Kansas City and I've never felt so unwelcome in any other community that I've lived as I have here with the exception of one rural western Kansas town where I spent a grand total of about a month before leaving. Not all the towns in that area are not like that though. In any event, I've had enough of the pinheads in the KC area and plan to relocate in the upcoming year once I decide where to move.
I have a friend that is originally from Alabama and his wife is from Nebraska. They've also lived in a number of different regions including Kansas City. Both of them explained to me what the problem is with this area and I can offer their explanation to you which in turn may help Angorlee to find a community that does not have this issue. According to my friends the problem with this area is that most of the people in the KC area are in bred. Seems logical since only a small % of the population originates from another area of the country or world. In breds don't like outsiders and don't want them in their community. We upset the apple cart because we don't walk, talk, think, look or act like they do. It makes them become paranoid and uncomfortable because they are insecure and weak.
I guess this just reinforces my original suggestion. When researching communities that interest you, make sure you find out what % of the population has moved in from other parts of the country. I suspect the higher number of outsiders in a community will translate into a more welcoming community to call home. You can find pockets of welcoming neighborhoods or communities in otherwise parochial areas but you will just have to know how to find them.
LMAO....that is what my husband has basically said about a place in the Midwest, and he was right and so were your friends. I don't know about KC because I've never been there but I'll take your word for it; never had a desire to go and definitely wouldn't now.
Seems like the most open type of communties are the growing thriving ones. I don't know, just my observation. The places that a person can really join in and become a part of what's goin' on. If a city is too stagnant in population growth but seems to have jobs, there's probably a reason.
As soon as you move in, make a dish that is popular in your culture or where you moved from---and then share it with the neighbors.
Nothing like food.
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