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my sister in law asked me to babysit "weekly basis". She normally called in twice a week and she asked me some time from 1;30 pm to 7;30 pm. She is the same age as me and she is studying at a college and me too I am also studying at another college part time, I and my husband have no children but I have a lot to do at home. I am dealing with depression . My husband doesn't care what I am suffering… we don't even have a small talk like a normal couple for even 30 mins a day ..I am in the kitchen most of the time , sometime I do house work , but most of the time learning, working on computer , it's part of my research , plus I am struggling with depression. My sister in law is a single mother, her daughter is nearly 4 years old. As the child getting older, they are handful, have to keep an eyes on them always so I am very tired and exhausted when the child has left, and I got really angry myself. I told my sister in law that I am depressed and I and her brother relationship is not really good , but she doesn't have a consideration of what I am dealing or struggling , she keeps asking me to do babysit constantly…I have a habit , hard to say "NO" then after that I suffered and angry myself. I am an Asian, dependent..feel so down my situation … want to run away! I have no family here.
my sister in law asked me to babysit "weekly basis". She normally called in twice a week and she asked me some time from 1;30 pm to 7;30 pm. She is the same age as me and she is studying at a college and me too I am also studying at another college part time, I and my husband have no children but I have a lot to do at home. I am dealing with depression . My husband doesn't care what I am suffering… we don't even have a small talk like a normal couple for even 30 mins a day ..I am in the kitchen most of the time , sometime I do house work , but most of the time learning, working on computer , it's part of my research , plus I am struggling with depression. My sister in law is a single mother, her daughter is nearly 4 years old. As the child getting older, they are handful, have to keep an eyes on them always so I am very tired and exhausted when the child has left, and I got really angry myself. I told my sister in law that I am depressed and I and her brother relationship is not really good , but she doesn't have a consideration of what I am dealing or struggling , she keeps asking me to do babysit constantly…I have a habit , hard to say "NO" then after that I suffered and angry myself. I am an Asian, dependent..feel so down my situation … want to run away! I have no family here.
Just tell you sister in law "No, I can not babysit anymore. I will give you one week to find another babysitter. Starting the week of June 6 I will not be able to babysit for you."
If it is difficult to say this in person send it in an email and stick to what you say.
Remember that "No" is a complete sentence. If your SIL calls and begs you to sit "just one more time" or "it's an emergency" just say "No".
Please look into counseling services at your college. Often they are free or at a very low cost to students.
Find a counselor for your depression. They can also advise you how to leave your husband, who as you describe seems a bit emotionally abusive.
Your sister in law needs to be told no...and I understand in your situation, you feel you are taking on the whole family when you tell her no....Maybe spend you days at your college campus....avoid being home.....She cannot leave her child with you if you aren't there.
You might also talk to someone, even your academic counselor about your depression, they will know who to call for you...Please get some help right away, reach out...you are in America...we do things differently than your culture...there is help available and protection if you need it too. If you need it here is the National Domestic Violence Hotline link http://www.thehotline.org/ Be safe
Thank you all very much of your comments and advices. I do appreciate it .
I\ve passed the difficult stage that I said, 'NO" to her. she kept contacting for different reasons on phone but I stick with my plan.
Say-No...Great, keep saying No...or just don't take her calls. I still hope that you'll talk to someone about your depression.
I have talked to a counselor in my past, I was being emotionally abused and also threatened, he would hit the side of the fridge, threaten to take our little boys across the border, various other threatening type comments any time I acted like I was gonna leave him. I spent a lot of time depressed before I got help.
My counselor helped me so much....what happens is in a relationship where you just feel like you are trying to survive, day to day....you forget what normal is. My counselor helped me get emotionally strong and then had me explore my options for leaving. I did leave, it was scary...but knowing what my choices were helped me be able to leave.
If this sounds like what you are going through, please go talk to someone. Be safe.
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