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Saying a girl is pretty....At a family gathering years ago my then teenaged sons
told a female cousin they had never met before that she was pretty..Her response...
"I know"....
I'm having difficulty understanding what harm is experienced by a woman when she receives a compliment on her appearance. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't most women spend considerable time and money on looking as attractive as possible? And aren't men who acknowledge the success of their efforts deserving of civility rather than contempt?
The number of women in this thread whose default reaction to others seems to be bitterness is remarkable to me. Are they really that offended?
This is exactly what the media does to people..programs them into these gender roles then makes you apologize if you don't buy into it..I don't wear makeup(and that doesn't mean I don't care about my looks,either)but I get your point, however I think the point is that if a women is wearing makeup, looks nice, has her hair done..she's doing it for herself first and foremost and may not be comfortable with a compliment and that's ok too..its not up to you to decide how someone feels based on something that you say, that is part of the deal-freedom of speech is a privilege and you are responsible for what you say..if you're not a woman you may never get it- but we have to approach things with caution.
I am a firm believer in accepting compliments gracefully, but I have had married men at work who were probably just trying to be nice and without meaning to (but still against their better judgement)put me in awkward situations, now I don't work in a hostile environment, but when a married man comments on your physical appearance..it makes you think twice about how to respond..you have to worry about encouraging someone,etc. and by the way..how do you know someone is going to interpret what you are saying as a compliment?
"you have nice teeth"..probably the most genuine compliment and most appreciated one I have received!
Last edited by cowbirdcat; 05-19-2016 at 04:44 AM..
I work in retail and get annoyed when people ask personal questions, or men try to flirt..it doesn't happen too often, but I think that people who force customer service employees to engage with them inappropriately are socially awkward and lack class..They know you have to be pleasant with everyone and they are insecure and use your presence as an excuse to control. It's funny when other nearby customers who witness it look at me and roll their eyes for me..
Last edited by cowbirdcat; 05-19-2016 at 04:32 AM..
Saying a girl is pretty....At a family gathering years ago my then teenaged sons
told a female cousin they had never met before that she was pretty..Her response...
"I know"....
right..you're either a prude and unappreciative or a **** and arrogant..
Really? You're offended by that? You warrant the statement "beautiful people have no personality".
this is such a cop out response..What's wrong with expecting others to treat you with respect? That just makes me self-respecting, not lacking personality..your comment states that all "pretty" people must respond positively to attention and therefore you are assuming everyone should like/want attention..Obviously people are going to say whatever they want but why assume someone needs your approval? We live in a society now where everyone must "like" everything, its due to social media in my opinion..Where does this need to vaguely approve everything come from,though? I'm not a facebook page and I don't really care what you think, what you like..and no, we're not friends
George Takei linked to this just yesterday. What a coincidence. I bet nearly every woman has experienced this. A stranger compliments us, and when we do not acknowledge it to his satisfaction, the compliment becomes an insult or threat. On every single thread about this topic, women are told to be more receptive, more pleasant, then warned that we are bitter, ugly hags if we don't and should be grateful for the attention.
Context matters. A woman you know may enjoy a compliment very much. A stranger ... use caution and discretion.
of course you don't have to refrain from comments. just know that it is not received well.
have you ever had someone comment on your looks out of nowhere and unprovoked?
Sure have. On the odd occasion when it was a favorable comment I assumed it was meant as a compliment and took it that way. What's the big deal?
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