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Why does it have to be about how a girl looks? You are giving the wrong idea to girls, that only their looks are important. And, if you don't know that girl, I'm going to call you out as a perv. Really? How creepy is that? Do you want strange men making comments about your daughter's or sister's looks?
If, on the other hand, the OP means women, then calling them girls show just how sexist they are. Females over the age of 18 are women, not girls.
Why must you comment on a woman's appearance? If you don't know her, it is an unwanted comment. How many men do you tell they are pretty? That you love their hair? They have great legs? If you don't say it to an equal number of men, then you are in the wrong. As a woman, I would say that over 75% of the comments I've gotten were NOT just a compliment but the commenter had a sexual intent. Even if you are innocent, as you say, do you want the woman to think of you as coming on to her? Do you want you wife or GF to think that you coming on to another woman? Glad that you like appearing as a creep.
As for me, due to all the PC garbage these days, I just keep my comments to myself, smile and try and be pleasant to everyone. Every compliment is a potential lawsuit. Sadly.
As for me, due to all the PC garbage these days, I just keep my comments to myself, smile and try and be pleasant to everyone. Every compliment is a potential lawsuit. Sadly.
Agree,
well, it was a great debate, got some good points of view.... people confirmed that sadly it's better for men to keep their mouth shut.
I've seen girls of all ages (baby to adult) that were pretty
But I get the sense that in our society is almost a crime for a man to say that a girl is pretty
To clarify, when I say pretty, for me usually means that she has a pretty smile.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dopo
Context
A family meets another family
The father of one family says "Your little daughter is so pretty" (again, referring to a pretty smile)
I can see men thinking "Ummm, I won't say anything, people might think is creepy"
Meanwhile, everybody says that about my little boys, play with their hair, hug them, etc, etc.
It got to the point that our 10 year old boy told us that he doesn't like it when women grab his curly hair and we told him that we'll make sure to stop women from doing it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dopo
Agree,
well, it was a great debate, got some good points of view.... people confirmed that sadly it's better for men to keep their mouth shut.
Thanks
The context you provided doesn't fit with the OP.
Your example was (presumably ) referring to a young girl not a woman, you still haven't mentioned if the adults are acquainted or what the consequences of the comment which caused you to categorize the comment as "almost a crime" under any circumstance.
Honestly if some guy I met at a park while supervising my kids made that comment it probably would creep me out some. If the comment came frome a friend or family member I might think it was odd if just said our of the blue. If, as young girls are wont to do sometimes, my young daughter ran up to a friend or family member, twirling to show off a new dress, and the adult male responded with something to the effect of "Well don't you look pretty today!" I wouldn't think twice about it, and "thank you" is absolutely warranted.
Young children with interesting/unusual hair do get people touching or fawning over it. My towhead sister could barely go out in public in Tokyo decades ago without people touching her hair. Nothing wrong with asking folks to refrain from touching your child or, just as importantly to teach your child of either gender that it is ok to tell someone to not touch you if the touching is unwelcome. That's a hugely important lesson and by 10 years old I'd hope it had been addressed much earlier.
Last edited by maciesmom; 05-19-2016 at 07:02 PM..
Dear Ditsy: if men didn't come on to women, none of us would be here today. Just sayin'.
And, I'm saying that there is a time and place for that. If you aren't in a setting that you know a come on will be appreciated, then it is sexual harassment. It is harassment when the woman feels harassed, no matter your intent.
If you don't know if she is jail bait or not, then you'd better keep your mouth shut.
Maybe, you should get to know a woman before you say things of a personal nature (compliments about appearance are personal in nature) to her. You might have a better chance at her not getting angry.
If you do not know that person, then you should not be giving them compliments based on their appearance. Too personal. Most compliments given to women by strangers ARE unwelcome. If a man notices a woman's hair and compliment her on it, then the man is probably feeling something based on her hair. Some attraction thing. Does he notice a man's hair and compliment him? Or a man's eye's? Or a man's legs? NO. He notices these body parts of a WOMAN and says something to her about them. That is an ulterior motive on the man's part. Some part of her body makes HIM feel good. Trying to brighten a woman's day by saying something nice about her? She is creeped out by you taking such personal notice of her body.
My problem with this topic is the same as my problem with more serious matters, like rape and incest. Never having done these things, and never having felt the urge to do so, it is difficult for me to comprehend the mentality that acts on such urges, and it makes me uncomfortable to delve into such pathologies.
But I do feel competent to argue that there is a distinction to be drawn between behavior which is annoying and behavior which is criminal. All of us, male and female, have experienced and continue to experience, behavior which is offensive and infuriating. We are adults and we learn to deal with it. The problem is that contemporary feminist opinion has upped the ante and now wishes to go beyond severe social disapprobation and impose legal penalties on men for behavior which one poster above admits has been going on "since the beginning of time." It has been going on that long, I would argue, because the relationship between heterosexual men and women is an inexact phenomenon, with any number of unskilled participants on both sides of the aisle.
My problem with this topic is the same as my problem with more serious matters, like rape and incest. Never having done these things, and never having felt the urge to do so, it is difficult for me to comprehend the mentality that acts on such urges, and it makes me uncomfortable to delve into such pathologies.
But I do feel competent to argue that there is a distinction to be drawn between behavior which is annoying and behavior which is criminal. All of us, male and female, have experienced and continue to experience, behavior which is offensive and infuriating. We are adults and we learn to deal with it. The problem is that contemporary feminist opinion has upped the ante and now wishes to go beyond severe social disapprobation and impose legal penalties on men for behavior which one poster above admits has been going on "since the beginning of time." It has been going on that long, I would argue, because the relationship between heterosexual men and women is an inexact phenomenon, with any number of unskilled participants on both sides of the aisle.
What has any of that got to do with the OP? No one has suggested any criminal consequences except for the OP and it seems that was more hyperbole than anything.
What has any of that got to do with the OP? No one has suggested any criminal consequences except for the OP and it seems that was more hyperbole than anything.
Please. The criteria for sexual harrassment -- a criminal charge -- are notoriously fluid, and include the category of unwelcome compliments in some jurisdictions. On most university campuses, the whole concept of due process is ignored. One poster aboved referenced the existence of harrassment as "perception rather than intention." That would be scanned, e.g., sometimes people look as if they would like to strangle me. That does not give me the right to accuse those people of attempted murder because I perceive them as dangerous...
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