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I know and can relate Jerry! You are very lucky to have that group---a nice size and it sounds very supportive. I am happy you have that kind of support.
I have noticed several people mentioning "fear" as a part of their grieving....I wonder why it is so strong? I was never afraid of much of anything and now it seems I'm afraid of everything. Maybe because I don't have my DH at my back? It's just strange how often a person in this situation becomes afraid of so many things....wonder how you deal with it? I know to turn it over to God but we are human and it isn't always that easy to do. I am doing better but still have a long way to go.
Fear... I wonder what to say (write) to my children on important days: wedding anniversary, birthday, the day of death.. I can't just let the day pass, but don't want to cause more upset. Maybe just "Remember with Love" in a text or email and nothing more, as they know what day it is. This is a soft fear, maybe more a concern. It is one of the adjustments and I am unsure - some fear of doing wrong.
I read a quote the other day that I thought to share here. It is from a book entitled "A Dark Night Journey" by The Rev. Peter Boulata, who is currently a candate in spiritual care and psychotherapy at Wilfrid Laurier University.
He writes:
"After one comes out, changes careers, survives the death of a loved one, or gets divorced, one moves into new territory in which there are new milestones and signposts that only become visible as time goes on. For a while, it feels like floating adrift, not yet anchored in a new way of life, a new routine, or new values.
When all outer encrustations fall away, the nothingness that is left is the dark heart of a new beginning, a prelude to liberation, the precondition to new life."
The comments about "fear" made me think of the "dark heart of a new beginning" of which Rev. Boullata speaks. That image makes me think of Easter......resurrection .. new life ... light from darkness. The angels at the doorway to the tomb said to the disciples.... not to look for Jesus there, for surely he has risen.
Very tired as usual on Thursday after working and stocking both Wed night and Thursday all day. Those 2 days are really hard for me. But I have today off. It's foggy and rainy so I will wait a bit to take the trash and stop at the post office. The weather is suppose to clear later.....Have a blessed day!
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