Why do people in Hampton Roads stare at me so much? (neighborhood, schools)

[christine243]

Originally Posted by nycricanpapi

Ok I should have asked this question a long time ago. I was reading some posts here and I just remembered this question. I'm originally from NYC. I hate when people stare at me so much. Why would people stare at me so much here? I am Puerto Rican. For the people here I look mixed like with White and Black. Puerto Ricans are made up of Indians(Taino), Blacks (Africans), Whites (Spain). So many Puerto Ricans may look White , Indian, or Black. However I look mix as people say here. In NYC they will know I am Puerto Rican. Now, I tend to dress baggy not too baggy that I have my pants below my waist. However, the young african americans tend to stare at me a lot when I dress baggy I don't know why... I look at them and they do not change their face. It aggravates me because in NYC to look at a person for a long time is bad. So I am already used to this. Why do you think they stare at me a lot?

Now I dress casual too, and still I would get other people to stare at me. I look at them and still they would not change their face. Why don't they change their face when I look at them? Any inputs will be highly appreciated.

LOL! I am sorry that you are getting stared at so much. When I moved here (May 2007) I got stared at a lot (I'm African American) and it drove me crazy. People do stare here for some reason, but when you stare back at them hoping that they catch a clue or get the hint that it is impolite to stare, they just keep staring! LOL It's the culture here... just is.

[sevenfiveseven]

jhRichmond.. Urban Dictionary is now on my fav pages!

[ryanruns]

I second on being paranoid.I had some prtocn (cant spell it) friends when I lived in Norfolk..and i dont think they ever had problems..remember hampton roads has a huge military population so there are lots and lots of hispanics, asians, whites, blacks, ect....

[nycricanpapi]

Originally Posted by christine243

LOL! I am sorry that you are getting stared at so much. When I moved here (May 2007) I got stared at a lot (I'm African American) and it drove me crazy. People do stare here for some reason, but when you stare back at them hoping that they catch a clue or get the hint that it is impolite to stare, they just keep staring! LOL It's the culture here... just is.

LOL... so I see I am not the only one lol. So how did you get used to it? What do you do when people stare at you, just wondering.

[nycricanpapi]

Originally Posted by sleeptodream138

I noticed I get stared at a lot too. When I visited NYC I quickly noticed I wasn't being stared at hardly at all and I felt like people were off my back. I don't know what it is. If you're just keeping to yourself and people still stare, they obviously have some kind of personal problem so I would just try to not let it get to you. There are a lot of uppity people here (IN MY EXPERIENCE). Just keep your head high.

LOL yeah I think these people in VA have a problem, because they stare at me like if I was from space or something lol. Thanks for your advice!

Originally Posted by GeorgiaTransplant

I just took a serious look at your first question...okay, you ask they don't change their face when you look at them.

Why don't you change your face when they look at you? Honestly?

Clearly you are doing something out of the norm in Hampton Roads to get those kinds of stares (thousand-yard stare? glare? do you stomp around like they owe you space? New Yorkers, in my experience, can sometimes be overly assertive in their body language, and that's not the norm here). I doubt it's race-related; there's a huge mix in this area of white, black, hispanic, and asian, and I am not surprised when I run into any of those groups or mixtures of them around here.

Why don't I change my face when they look at me? Okay lets take that back. Why would I, they are the ones that are looking at me weird as if I was from a third country or from the moon?

There aren't a lot of Hispanics here. There are more Asians (Filipinos) then anything. I always get frustrated that people think that all Hispanics have to look like Mexicans. You know what happened to me the other day? I went to the supermarket, and a guy asked me if I played soccer. Can you believe that? People here are so ignorant. Also he said that I was tall... I was like wow... Was he being serious? I went off on him. People think all Hispanics look like Mexicans here. I never have had this problem in my entire life until I came to the Hampton Roads. Also, people almost never believe me that I am full Puerto Rican just because to them I look mix with White and Black like I stated in an earlier post.

Originally Posted by Randomdude

Ive lived here for about 25 of my 28 years on earth. I have had people I never met threaten me and try to pick fights. I had a kid once I never met in my life walk up to me and punch me in the face, which didnt end well for him. Ive had people insult me or jeer out of bus windows and car windows. Ive had grown men flip me off when I was 15 years old while crossing the street. Ive been hassled by cops because of the clothes I wore. Ive had people jeer and comment about my fiance and I. Ive had people threaten to burn my parents house down because we were white in the wrong neighborhood......however, I can honestly say Ive never once had a perfect stranger walk up and say "hi" in Hampton Roads.


Actually, the only exceptionally friendly stranger Ive ever met was on the A train going down to Canal in Manhattan, when this woman and her teenage/early twenties daughter went out of their way to show us where all the maps and tickers in the subway car were (we didnt ask them, they just simply saw us looking at a map and offered the advice), even though we were obviously not from NYC, and by rights, were largely ignored, attempted to be taken advantage of, and even loathed by the average NYC resident. Now that I think about it, a security guard at the American Indian Musuem was also extremely nice, he saw us standing there looking like stranded tourists with a sopping wet map that was hardly readable any longer, walked all the way down all the steps on the front on the museum parallel to Battery, in the pooring rain, to help us find the right subway entrance to go back uptown. I have never ONCE witnessed anything of the sort down here. Down here, if you arent paying somebody, they arent going out of their way to do anything. Oh how I treasure the day when we move to Manhattan, and leave the "Southern Hospitality" behind.

Wow this is insane. I did not know people here would take it this far. I have never experienced this kind of racism here.

Originally Posted by Randomdude

This is completely false. There are very few hispanics, and they are a majority Mexican. There is little presence from Carribean, Central or South American Hispanics. If you knew a little bit about Hispanics, you would know the several reasons why you cannot just group them together like you generally can group African Americans or American caucasians together. Each one of these groups are very distinct in culture and history, and sometimes they have even developed deeply ingrained dislike for other Hispanic groups. Two African Americans or American caucasians almost certainly will share more culturally and socially then a Dominican and a Puerto Rican, or say, a Mexican and a Venezuelan. You are not likely going to EVER run in to a "hispanic" group here in Hampton Roads as defined as hispanics from different originations mingling together. You need to be in a place where the complete culture breeds and promotes a melting pot. New York is the only city that really comes to mind, even though, some neighborhoods are particuliarly successful in keeping out people of other nationalities/races. Almost every single person in NYC knows what the deal in Washington Heights is. Miami and Los Angeles are known for diversity, but from what Ive seen and heard, there are very distinct battle lines drawn dividing each group. Here, they do not have the sheer numbers to actually carve out whole neighborhoods or areas because its so "black and white", but some of the local clubs are well known to have a distinct clientele.

As for Asian/Pacific Islander, its almost exactly the same thing. The Asian population of Hampton Roads is an overwhelmingly majority Filipino, and you will find them 9 times out of ten, either in a multicultural setting, or hanging with other Filipinos, but NOT hanging out with a random assortment of Asian or Pacific Islanders.

I completely agree with you. Hampton Roads is not so diversed. So when they see a Hispanic that does not look like a Mexican. They get so astonished.

"If you knew a little bit about Hispanics, you would know the several reasons why you cannot just group them together like you generally can group African Americans or American caucasians together. Each one of these groups are very distinct in culture and history." This is so true. People tend to mix all Hispanic group together which this is completely wrong. I don't know for the Mexicans, but Carribean Hispanics such as Puerto Ricans, Cubans, Dominicans, are made up of Whites (Spain), Blacks (Africans), and Indians (Taino), which many people do not know this.

I have family that lives in Washington Heights, Manhattan so I know what you are stating here.

Originally Posted by Randomdude

Wow, what on earth is with the grammar police. Once again if you didnt catch it one of the 700 other times I said it.....I COULD CARE LESS. As long as my point is made, that is all I care about on a conversational chat board. I dont care if I switch up an occassional homophone, I dont care if I butcher a saying, I dont care if I spell something wrong, and I dont really care if I make a typo or miss punctuation. If I dont catch it immediatley when I do it, I just move on. This board has little value in my life other then a pass time. Its not going to get me a better job, its not a part of my resume, in fact, its not even a personal reflection on me, considering Im anonymous. So, why exactly should I give a rats ass about whether or not everything is perfect about it grammatically? Does the fact I misused or butchered "for all intents and purposes", make my argument factually wrong? No, it doesnt. Its just something for anal retentive cry babies to ***** about, bottom line.

Don't let them get to you. People just get vexed when you try to educate them.

Originally Posted by ryanruns

I second on being paranoid.I had some prtocn (cant spell it) friends when I lived in Norfolk..and i dont think they ever had problems..remember hampton roads has a huge military population so there are lots and lots of hispanics, asians, whites, blacks, ect....

There are lots and lots of hispanics? Blacks, Asians, Whites? Where? Because the only types of Hispanics I see, the majority are Mexicans. The majority of Asians that I see are Filipinos, and the Majority of Blacks and Whites that I see are just African Americans, and White Americans. I don't see no Italians, Irish, Nigerians, Africans etc....

[bizzyb&lovinlife]

Originally Posted by Randomdude

How much diversity does the military really bring? The military is disproportionatley made up of people from rural areas or extremely poor inner city "ghettos" neither of which has much diversity at all, and as a result does not reflect the general composition of the American population. In fact, some of the most racist and intolerant people I have ever met in Hampton Roads were members of the military.

Wow...For someone who can't even spell correctly, and won't take the time to try, you sure seem to know everything, don't you? I was in the military myself, and I am not racist or intolerant. I learned to rise above that kind of ignorance because I experienced it on the receiving end first hand, growing up in a predominantly Caucasian area, being half Hispanic. When I joined the military, my first duty station was Hawaii, where there are all kinds of cultures. I have to admit, being from a pretty decent suburb (not an extremely poor inner city ghetto and not quite a rural area, though there are rural areas around the area) in Ohio, it was a shock at first, but a very interesting one that I now greatly appreciate. I have also lived in Europe for a collective total of almost six years now, as I married another military member, who is not by any means from a ghetto or a rural area, either. He comes from a nice touristy mountain town in Colorado, where most homes were worth no less than $500,000 in recent years. We both have friends and co-workers from "all walks of life" so to speak. Growing up in the nice, but sheltered suburban towns that we grew up in, when we joined the military and were stationed abroad, we were both exposed to plenty of cultures that we have both grown to know and love. As a matter of fact, traveling and experiencing new cultures and places is THE reason many people, like myself, join the military in the first place. I don't doubt at all that some of the most racist people you have ever met are in the military. Not only are there all different races, but there are also all different types of people in the military as well. Some people in the military, or their family members, NOT all, are terrified of experiencing new cultures. Those are the ones I truly pity, and I say this because I currently live overseas, and I see plenty of these people. However, to generalize the military as a whole, is quite ignorant in and of itself. It's kind of the same as generalizing a whole race of people, isn't it? I guess you're not much better than those "most racist and intolerant people". Perhaps you would be better off getting out more than posting such uneducated and biased opinions on this forum, where people who are moving to this area (such as myself) actually want to find truthful and valuable information that could be helpful. You might actually find that more of us "military" people are not all from rural areas or ghettos, and have actually lived in and experienced a wide variety of cultures and places.

[Randomdude]

Originally Posted by bizzyb&lovinlife

Wow...For someone who can't even spell correctly, and won't take the time to try,

I can spell very well, actually, I won several spelling bees back in school. The problem is the second part of it, I dont really care to take the time to proofread, because I dont feel its worth taking the time.

Originally Posted by Coconut1

you sure seem to know everything, don't you?

Not every thing, but Im smart enough to view and interpret statistics, of which will show you that the military is disproportionately made up of African Americans and whites, and from kids of low income situations.

Originally Posted by Coconut1

I was in the military myself, and I am not racist or intolerant. I learned to rise above that kind of ignorance because I experienced it on the receiving end first hand, growing up in a predominantly Caucasian area, being half Hispanic.

Hey smart girl, exception to the rules are not the rules. Maybe you can explain why exactly my friend from highschools boyfriend and his marine buddies would drive down the streets of neighborhoods shouting racial slurs at African American children? Just because you (and Im sure many, many others in the military) are not racist, does not mean that racism is not a problem in the service, nor does it mean that, personally, the most racist people Ive ever met, including the forementioned, were members of the service.

Originally Posted by Coconut1

Those are the ones I truly pity, and I say this because I currently live overseas, and I see plenty of these people. However, to generalize the military as a whole, is quite ignorant in and of itself. It's kind of the same as generalizing a whole race of people, isn't it? I guess you're not much better than those "most racist and intolerant people".

Its time for a lesson in first grade reading.

"How much diversity does the military really bring? The military is disproportionatley made up of people from rural areas or extremely poor inner city "ghettos" neither of which has much diversity at all, and as a result does not reflect the general composition of the American population. In fact, some of the most racist and intolerant people I have ever met in Hampton Roads were members of the military."


Please scan this quote and choose which statement was NOT made

A. The military is disproportionately made up from areas that do not contain much diversity
B. The military does not reflect the general composition of the American population
C. Some of the most racist and intolerant people Randomdude has ever met in Hampton Roads were members of the military
D. All members of the military are racist and intolerant, and are from low income backgrounds

If you chose D, you are not reading impaired. If you did not choose D, you probably are reading impaired, and should check with your commanding officer to see if there are any on post reading classes.

Originally Posted by Coconut1

Perhaps you would be better off getting out more than posting such uneducated and biased opinions on this forum, where people who are moving to this area (such as myself) actually want to find truthful and valuable information that could be helpful. You might actually find that more of us "military" people are not all from rural areas or ghettos, and have actually lived in and experienced a wide variety of cultures and places.

Speaking of uneducated, for someone who has the comprehension level of a kindergartener, I will try to make this simple. Every fact I claim can normally be backed up by third party research, and usually from a very clean source, such as government sites. Every thing else I will usually say things like "in my opinion" or I will clarify it as my personal experience or observation. I never make "generalizations" on groups of people without it being backed up by actual data. Such as the composition of the military.

[darzz1]

Originally Posted by nycricanpapi

Ok I should have asked this question a long time ago. I was reading some posts here and I just remembered this question. I'm originally from NYC. I hate when people stare at me so much. Why would people stare at me so much here? I am Puerto Rican. For the people here I look mixed like with White and Black. Puerto Ricans are made up of Indians(Taino), Blacks (Africans), Whites (Spain). So many Puerto Ricans may look White , Indian, or Black. However I look mix as people say here. In NYC they will know I am Puerto Rican. Now, I tend to dress baggy not too baggy that I have my pants below my waist. However, the young african americans tend to stare at me a lot when I dress baggy I don't know why... I look at them and they do not change their face. It aggravates me because in NYC to look at a person for a long time is bad. So I am already used to this. Why do you think they stare at me a lot?

Now I dress casual too, and still I would get other people to stare at me. I look at them and still they would not change their face. Why don't they change their face when I look at them? Any inputs will be highly appreciated.

Maybe it's your beauty :-)

I had that happen a couple times and I've just said "Hello" to the person and then said... oh I thought you may have known me.. the way you were looking at me. Maybe you'll make a new friend outta the deal.

[ellar]

Originally Posted by Randomdude

I can honestly say Ive never once had a perfect stranger walk up and say "hi" in Hampton Roads.

It's unfortunate you've never run into the nice side of Hampton Roads in all those years. We ran into it several times when we visited the area before moving here a few years. I had a man offer to help me at a store where I was trying to buy a map. I had a waitress sit down at my table and make suggestions about where we should look around. I had people hold doors for me when I went in and out of establishments. In fact there were so many nice people we ran in to, I was pretty surprised. When we moved in, our neighbors brought us cookies and took the time to introduce themselves. In fact, the only trouble I had was when I was driving and no one wanted to let me merge in! I think what you run in to depends on partly where you hang out. I'm not going to bar zones any more, and I'm not a big city person, so I hang out in the suburbs mostly. There are lots of friendly people in some parts of the suburbs around here.

[SoonipiLady]

Originally Posted by nycricanpapi

Ok I should have asked this question a long time ago. I was reading some posts here and I just remembered this question. I'm originally from NYC. I hate when people stare at me so much. Why would people stare at me so much here? I am Puerto Rican. For the people here I look mixed like with White and Black. Puerto Ricans are made up of Indians(Taino), Blacks (Africans), Whites (Spain). So many Puerto Ricans may look White , Indian, or Black. However I look mix as people say here. In NYC they will know I am Puerto Rican. Now, I tend to dress baggy not too baggy that I have my pants below my waist. However, the young african americans tend to stare at me a lot when I dress baggy I don't know why... I look at them and they do not change their face. It aggravates me because in NYC to look at a person for a long time is bad. So I am already used to this. Why do you think they stare at me a lot?

Now I dress casual too, and still I would get other people to stare at me. I look at them and still they would not change their face. Why don't they change their face when I look at them? Any inputs will be highly appreciated.

Anytime I met anyone from the south or the midwest. (lived in both) The stares were totally disconcerting. I am also from NY (a bit upstate though). Finally when I was in my thirties, I became pretty good friends with a couple and the husband was from Ohio. He constantly stared at me with the look on his face that you described. I finally asked him why he stared at me so intently. You know what the reason was? He said he had to concentrate on my face/mouth when I talked because I had such an accent and talked so fast, he could never understand a thing I said. here I thought people were just rude. It turns out they were actually trying to listen, just couldn't understand me! Maybe it's as simple as that.