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I was 28 when I wanted to have mine done. I had just had my 3rd baby, and was going thru a divorce. My OB said absolutely not. She said I was too young and may meet someone, get married and want a baby. I am glad she didn't do it. I do agree that if you meet someone you should have the discussion sooner rather than later. My 2nd husband told me on our first date that he could not have kids. Better to know before you get too invested in feelings.
The OP is still pretty dang young at 26. She is probably already on birth control, and can still make her partner use a condom and their is virtually no chance of becoming pregnant. She does have the options of abortion and giving the baby up for adoption as well.
Are you trying to say that voluntary sterilization is worse than abortion? Wow, just wow!
The problem I had wasn't if I wanted the surgery or not, I found out quick that I couldn't find a doctor to do the surgery for me because of my age and the fact I only one child. The choice might not be up to you or you'll have to really put a lot of time in trying to find a doctor that you feel comfortable and safe with to do the surgery. I think being that you don't have any children at all, your going to have a harder time than I did. It took me 4 years for my doctor to give me the surgery, so good luck.
I am so baffled, this is the second case in the thread describing a doctor who won't sterilize due to someone having only one child. What is with the obsession among doctors with this idealization of the 1950s nuclear family model? After reading this thread I am beginning to believe that doctors, despite their education level are often ignorant.
I am so baffled, this is the second case in the thread describing a doctor who won't sterilize due to someone having only one child. What is with the obsession among doctors with this idealization of the 1950s nuclear family model? After reading this thread I am beginning to believe that doctors, despite their education level are often ignorant.
I do not necessarily think it has to do with 1950s thinking. I worked for OB's for many years. They are looking out for their patients. What if God forbid a child passes away, and their patient had a tubal? That's the reason for the hesitancy.
Are you trying to say that voluntary sterilization is worse than abortion? Wow, just wow!
I'm appalled too. I believe abortion needs to remain legal but rare. Preventing unwanted pregnancy should be prioritised first. People who want to get sterilised are being responsible and mature. Abortion shouldn't be used as birth control.
As a 20 year old, I am thinking about going to Mexico to get sterilised. Finding a doctor here to sterilise me has been difficult.
I honestly feel ready for a tubal ligation sometime in the near future and would do it without hesitation if given the chance to; wanted to for a long while. However, I'm not sure if I would still be too young for that operation. I'm a 26 year-old woman (turning 27 by April) who is 100% sure of not ever wanting kids. I've known this since I was 13 years old and my ambitions include others things; kids aren't involve there. I would like to travel only someday, have a life partner and finish my major but nothing to do with kids.
Overall, I will not be changing my mind. I have no desires nor urges towards motherhood. If I proceed to that operation one day and I were dating, would I need to inform the guy soon about it?
I got mine at 30 and was expecting to have a hard time since most women at 30 or under can't find a doctor to do it, because they think we'll change our mind. But my doc was great. He asked me lots of questions and I answered them all and he said, "okay, I'll get the form filled out". If you know what you want, you'll have all the answers and you won't hesitate with the answers. And that is what they're looking for. Someone that knows what they want, not someone that's unsure.
So, go to your doc, if they refuse, try another one and keep trying until you find one that will do it.
Personally, I hate when people who don't even know you ASSUME you'll change your mind because you're young. I always took it to them saying, "I'm older so I know your mind better than you". Please, bite me. I haven't changed my mind for the past 25 years. It ain't going to change now. And the clock is broken so nothing is ticking. Ignore those people. They don't know you and obviously believe they know what's best for you.
As for a TL not being 100% who cares. It's rate is better than the pill or an IUD and it's permanent and not hormonal. I had mine cut and cauterized, so there shouldn't be a chance of it growing back nor reversing. Like I said, if I truly wanted kids, I'd adopt. I don't have that selfish need to pass on my genes and see a "little me" like so many people do. For the issues afterwards, honestly, any surgery can have issues. You have to decide if it's worth it. Even having an IUD inserted/removed comes with issues.
Good luck. Be persistent and just answer the docs questions. If they won't do it, find someone else. Someone will do it.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Laychick
Wow they sure are stubborn. I guess it's going to take a while for me to find a doctor that will do it. For some reason, they are more hesitant with us than with men not wanting kids.
Lots of men can't get vasectomies easily either, not until they've had a few kids or are into their mid 30s.
Early articulator here. Had a tubal at 29, after being put off by know-it-all doctors for seven long years after I was married. Great marriage, great life, wouldn't change a thing. Second-guessing young women is, well, second nature for a lot of people. I was sure at 7, 27, and now at 47.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtlJan
How many older people do you know who have kids and regret having them?
Only a couple
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtlJan
How many older people do you know who say their biggest regret was that they didn't have kids?
Zero
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Ignore those people. They don't know you and obviously believe they know what's best for you.
