Neighborhood Kids (Madison: renting, HOA, attorney)

[tammie2]

I have a crazy situation

My neighbor's 7 yr old son has started jumping the fence into my yard. At first he was taking the pinwheels that I put around the patio for the kids when we moved in(I just put them back out for spring and they started disappearing-I had no clue what was happening to them but over 20 disappeared).

One day I am sitting out watching the dog and cat enjoying the weather(the cat is a "backyard cat" that doesn't leave the yard-and couldn't if she tried-cross-eyed siamese), the kid is throwing his toys over and climbing to retrieve them-the mother is standing outside watching all of this. What if one of those toys hit my kids or pets?

I ask my kids about it and they confirm that this has been going on for awhile and he has almost half of the pinwheels in his yard(again the mother should have known and taken care of the situation)-and it isn't the pinwheels, it is the point.

I go talk with the mother. She tells me that "kids will be kids." I am now worried about his safety and my liability.

We come home 2 weeks ago and one of the branches on our satsuma is broken.

Last week we come home and I go to let the dog out and he is just sitting in the middle of the yard pulling up grass. When I open the back door he scurries over the fence.

This week we notice the kids bucket of baseballs/softballs is half empty.

I tried talking with the kid-who looks at me like I am a space alien, I tried talking to the mom again-no results again. She tried to explain how hard it was to have 2 kids(Ummm, Yeah, I have 2 and mine aren't jumping your fence). Now I am just getting angry.

I used to be known to put the dog out and go put a load of laundry in or putting them out upon coming home and going potty myself, whatever I did for 10-15 minutes. He didn't bark, he did his business and sniffed around, you know, dog stuff. Now I can't do that, although the dog is sweet as can be and has never bit anyone, he is a dog and this is HIS yard with HIS kids. If someone is jumping over the fence, I don't know what he would do, just like if someone broke in the front door. So I baby sit him 100% of the time. I also fear leaving my house-what is going to be damaged or missing this time-or will today be the day that he gets hurt and I get slapped with a lawsuit?

The kids wanted a trampoline, but until this is sorted out I have told them they have to wait.

So what now? Call the police on my neighbors? Take them to court? Send them a certified letter hoping to absolve myself of liability? I hate being a bad neighbor, but I can't live like this!!

[Mawoods]

Tammie, what a BAD situation!!! That neighbor is obviously in denial . I wonder if her neighbor on the other side of her has trouble with the kid? Perhaps you could talk to them and if they also have problems, show a united front to the trouble kid and parents. What about the dad of this kid? Does he have a clue what is going on? Unfortunately, you may have to be much more firm and follow through with consequences. In some ways, this is like DAVEN's barking dog situation. Both instances the parents are in denial and not good parents of children or dog.

[MadHaus]

You've already talked with both the kid and his mother, which is what I would have suggested trying first, and it did no good. I'd be concerned in your position, too. Plus, I'd be annoyed at being robbed of the quiet enjoyment of my own property because someone has no clue how to be a parent. *You* are not being "a bad neighbor" to demand that this kid stop climbing over the fence and damaging or stealing your property.

Whose fence is it? Depending on who installed it and if it's on your property (not on the line), may dictate where you can place a "no trespassing" sign, but you should post one (or more.) Then try to keep your digital camera (or cell phone, if it has a camera) with you as much as possible to catch the little brat in the act. It sounds as if it shouldn't take long to catch a few photos. Then send the parents copies of the photos in a registered letter, signature required, and copy it to the police. State in your letter how often you've witnessed junior climbing over your fence and anything you've seen him do (like pulling up grass), list the items that are missing or damaged, remind them of your verbal requests to stop the behavior, state that you will not be liable for any injuries incurred while junior is illegally on your property, and demand that he stop immediately. You can certainly express your regret that it's become necessary to take this step, because you'd like to be a friendly neighbor, but their refusal to control their son has made it impossible for you to relax in your own home because you worry about potential injuries (you don't need to say if you're more worried about injuries to your children or dog or the plant life than to the brat...)

Having lived through something similar years ago, I urge you to take action now while the kid is little. Otherwise, his wimpy parents will permit him to get away with all sorts of obnoxious and damaging behavior that will only get worse as he grows older.

[deesonic]

Two words: ELECTRIC FENCE

[tammie2]

I have even envisioned raspberry and blackberry brambles on my side of the fence Am I evil or what?

MA- I don't think Dad knows what the kid is up to, he doesn't come to the door when I have gone(at 2 different times of day trying to catch him), so aside from accosting him while he is getting out of the car after work, I doubt I will have a chance to speak with him. The only thing I know about the neighbor on the other side is that their daughter babysat both kids one night and has yet to be paid-a year later. The mom promised to pay later since she "forgot to stop at the ATM." She did ask the girl to sit again, but the parents refused to let her since she had never been paid.

MadHaus-thanks for the advice. I like CC'ing the police. Good idea.

I know talking with the mom gets me hot and bothered and last time I brought Chris for the neighbor's protection When I ask her where she thinks these things are coming from when he continually brings them home and she proceeds to tell me that she doesn't know where most things come from and that sometimes kids just give him things, I just want to smack her. Yes, sometimes kids give other kids things....and that is when the parent needs to send it back.

[HB2HSV]

Kid & mom like your neighbor's can use a good scare with a visit by a police officer. Talk to your local PD, explain the situation and see if a complaint can be filed so they can play "bad cop" for a few minutes just to scare your neighbor into a good behavior.

[LCTMadison]

Tammie, one thing here you have to consider is your potential liability if that child was hurt on your property. We are in a sue-happy society, and this could open you up for major liability if not ceased.

I would send hubby over one last time to have a man to man with the dad, and politely let him know that, if this continues, you will have to notify authorities. The dad may be quite reasonable, and nip it in the bud. Parents are responsible for the actions of thier children, and he is trespassing, stealing, and destroying your property (well, pulling up your grass, but still!). Madhaus is right on, it is best to deal with this kid when he is younger, because it will just escalate as he gets older, especially if his mom just lets him do as he wishes.

Let me add...this is very similar to what we have been dealing with in regards to that Discovery shooter in our neighborhood. Kids were just left to do as they please, concerns were raised to the parents...look what happened. His parents had that same reaction...kids will be kids.

[zenjenn]

Well I have two kids too, and if one of mine was jumping the fence stealing and destroying a neighbor's property, that kid's world would change so hard and fast they wouldn't know what hit them.

Frankly I don't think it's "hard" to have kids if you assert yourself as the ADULT in the relationship. Exhausting? Yes. Annoying at times? Yes. A lot of work? Definitely. But hard? No. These people clearly need a parenting class or something.

As for your problem, I like LCTMadison's suggestion. I agree it would be tempting to put in hazards to deter the child but, I honestly I would not want to endanger the of injury. It's not HIS fault he hasn't been disciplined.

[hey teach]

Try to get something on paper. Contact the police department and file a report. They may be relunctant to become involved, but they can and are required to file a report if you request one. A police report gives you valid documentation should you need to prove that you have tried to peaceably stop this situation. Every time there is an incident of trespass, file a report. I agree with LCTmadison, we are a sue-happy society and these people may simply be waiting for something to occur which will allow them the opportunity to sue you. Especially since you have a dog, you are a target. Should your dog bite this child, you will most likely be sued and your dog will have to be quarentined and most likely put down (you wouldn't want this for your family pet). Multiple police reports establish your efforts to stop the behavior.

First, I would put up some sort of sign either on the fence or just inside the fence (if it is a shared fence-line), depending on the age of the intruding child, make sure the sign is in "kid-friendly" language, so the parents can't claim "he didn't know what the word trespassing means". You might want to put up several signs, so the "I didn't see it" excuse is not viable.
Next, since you have already spoken to the mom, send them a letter, detailing what has been occuring, the actions you have already taken, and that you have filed a police report. Don't be threatening, but do be business like. Keep a copy for yourself and send the letter registered mail. They will have to sign for it, providing you yet another piece of documentation of your efforts to resolve the situation.
Most important of all is anything you can do to document what is occuring. Keep a journal, dates and times of the intrusions, what the child is doing while in your yard, what articles are missing. If you see your property on your neighbors property, take pictures.

Talk with other neighbors, document your conversations. I don't necessarily mean record them, but write down their responses, you may need their input later.

If the police report and the letter don't work, you may need to contact your attorney for advice.

Another late thought, do you have an HOA that might get involved. i've often found it amazing the problems that can be nipped by a vigilant HOA.

Good Luck.

[MadHaus]

Here's a little device I've used at several houses: GE IntelliCorderâ„¢ Camera System - Jasco Products Company
It's the GE/Jasco "IntelliCorder." It paid for itself almost as soon as we installed it at a previous house when an unscrupulous delivery guy claimed to have left a package containing jewelry on our side porch by the kitchen door. As soon as I explained to his supervisor that I had photographic proof that he had not been at our home when he claimed, the package magically appeared...it had just been "misplaced." Anyway, one of these on your backdoor could be useful in providing proof of your neighbor's activities on your property.