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Hi there,
My fiance and I are looking to get married on Long Island (preferably Suffolk County). We want a catholic wedding, and know we will have to take part in Pre Cana classes. The thing is I know a lot of Catholic Churches tend to be strict when it comes to living together before marriage, and I really don't want to lie to the priest regarding our living arrangments. I am just wondering if anyone has any experience with a more laid back Catholic Church that would still be willing to marry us even if we do live together.
Any help is appreciated! Thanks
We got married at St. Barnabas in Bellmore. I know its not Suffolk but they were very laid back and didn't ask us any questions about living arrangements or anything like that. Plus, the church itself is really beautiful. Good Luck.
Hi there,
My fiance and I are looking to get married on Long Island (preferably Suffolk County). We want a catholic wedding, and know we will have to take part in Pre Cana classes. The thing is I know a lot of Catholic Churches tend to be strict when it comes to living together before marriage, and I really don't want to lie to the priest regarding our living arrangements. I am just wondering if anyone has any experience with a more laid back Catholic Church that would still be willing to marry us even if we do live together.
Any help is appreciated! Thanks
St. Mary's in East Islip or St. Anne's in Brentwood might. The latter baptized my out-of-wedlock cousin years ago.
Hi there,
My fiance and I are looking to get married on Long Island (preferably Suffolk County). We want a catholic wedding, and know we will have to take part in Pre Cana classes. The thing is I know a lot of Catholic Churches tend to be strict when it comes to living together before marriage, and I really don't want to lie to the priest regarding our living arrangments. I am just wondering if anyone has any experience with a more laid back Catholic Church that would still be willing to marry us even if we do live together.
Any help is appreciated! Thanks
I can't help you with specific churches but I know several couples who lived together before getting married and had a Catholic Church wedding.
This is the first time I have heard of Catholic churches in the US refusing to marry couples who have previously lived together, or giving a hard time to those that have. Why would they be strict? Will they insist to say in the marriage ban that you have lived together?
This is the first time I have heard of Catholic churches in the US refusing to marry couples who have previously lived together, or giving a hard time to those that have. Why would they be strict? Will they insist to say in the marriage ban that you have lived together?
They don't refuse to marry couples but some priests might start preaching about "living in sin" and "premarital sex". I know couples that recently married who lived together. It wasn't a biggie.
This is the first time I have heard of Catholic churches in the US refusing to marry couples who have previously lived together, or giving a hard time to those that have. Why would they be strict? Will they insist to say in the marriage ban that you have lived together?
I googled the topic after seeing this thread. Some Catholic websites say it is up to the pastor of the church and at worst he would want the couple to not live together while preparing for the marriage. It also said that some pastors don't require this, and it said nothing about having previously lived together (in the past) being a reason for refusing to marry them. I guess that's because the couple could just go to confession and be back in good graces.
I think a bigger problem might be a person with no connection to a parish being wed in it after apparently "parish shopping". Usually a person would be a member of the parish, or live in the community, or have been from the area at some time, or have some connection to the parish such as parents belonging to it.
Hi there,
My fiance and I are looking to get married on Long Island (preferably Suffolk County). We want a catholic wedding, and know we will have to take part in Pre Cana classes. The thing is I know a lot of CatholicChurches tend to be strict when it comes to living together before marriage, and I really don't want to lie to the priest regarding our living arrangement's. I am just wondering if anyone has any experience with a more laid back Catholic Church that would still be willing to marry us even if we do live together.
Any help is appreciated! Thanks
This is one reason why we did not get married in a church. We got married at the reception hall by a judge. Any how I was going to suggest St. Mary's in East Islip, but I would register with a parish first.
Hi there,
My fiance and I are looking to get married on Long Island (preferably Suffolk County). We want a catholic wedding, and know we will have to take part in Pre Cana classes. The thing is I know a lot of Catholic C
hurches tend to be strict when it comes to living together before marriage, and I really don't want to lie to the priest regarding our living arrangments. I am just wondering if anyone has any experience with a more laid back Catholic Church that would still be willing to marry us even if we do live together.w
Any help is appreciated! Thanks
I am afraid that one way or another you will be lying. When you fill out the paperwork each of you will need to provide your name and address so what will you do then? If as you said you don't want to lie. I would advise you to be upfront from the beginning, and remember you are not the first and won't be the last that live together.
In fact, the more serious consideration for you is that in many places they ask a few simple questions that have put the kibosh on many weddings.
1) Are you a practicing Catholic?
2) Why do you want a church wedding?
Many times the answers are NO and because my mother,father, grandmother or grandfather insist upon it. Or my parents are paying for it so I have no choice.
Depending upon who you are interviewing with, they may or may not care. Thinking that maybe you will "come back" to the church eventually is often good enough for them.
These days many catering halls have beautiful gardens and ceremony locations, some on the water that are spectacular. Personally, the church is the last place I would want to go on my wedding day if I didn't have a connection to it.
Some years ago DH and I were Pre -Cana leaders, and we heard it all. I say be honest and you should be fine.
This is just another reason as a person raised Catholic, who beleives in God, I've fallen out of going to church. I just find it all so hypocritial. Your expected to follow the rules, yet within the church there is sexual abuse, theft and anything else you could think of. A Monsignor in my parents church recentley retired, married his secretary of many years and disapeared with a million bucks of church money. One day I ran into a Deacon of my church in Home Depot. He started a conversation which was extremely racist. I actually beleived he was testing me in some way until I finally figured out thats just who he was. My mother was raised in a Catholic run orphanage in Ireland, she goes to church every week and all holy days. My father was an usher for 20 years. Recentley she requested a letter of recomendation from her parish needed to become a sponsor for a youth from another parish making his conformation. Her parish refused her the letter saying they had no record of her weekly envolope contributions to the church. They contribute, they just don't use the envolope. The parish didn't even recognize them by name. After all the time and effort they contributed. They knew who they were when my old man went to the rectory to raise hell. Then it was just a big mistake. Its just about the money. My parish collects 40K a week, they publish this information in the bulliten. Where does 160K a month go? not back into the community. Its just like organized crime, it gets kicked up to Rome. Why does the church need all the gold and pageanrty? Jesus was homeless and aquired no wealth. Why is the Catholic Church the richest entity on earth? If they were actually living what they preach they'd be broke. Whats the Message? I believe the new Pope is trying to change the church but he's got a long way to go. The sad thing is, after going to parochial school for eight years and being raised Catholic I'm so brainwashed that I actually still feel I'm doing something wrong by not attending weekly Mass.
Last edited by whinnner1; 02-12-2014 at 05:43 AM..
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