Megacommuters - trading a long commute for more desirable housing. Worth the trade off? (town-house, safe area)

[AandD]

I commuted from eastern Mass to Groton CT (85 miles one way) for 3 years, and then eastern Mass to Newport RI (60 miles one way) for 2 years. My kids were in an awesome, very well supported school system and I wouldn't move them.

And I never once dreaded getting in my car.

I bought a hybrid for the gas mileage and relaibility, got on the road early (so I didn't miss time with the kids because they were in bed), and got home about 5:30ish (the same time most other parents got home). I bought satellite radio to entertain myself and stopped for a coffee on the days that the trip got monotonous. My concession has been that I go to bed EARLY, like right after I put my kids to bed at night, so that I was able to be rested and alert for the drive home the next evening.

[MidValleyDad]

Originally Posted by ncole1

Do you realize how expensive the commute is? So much for that whole affordability thing:

Ten years of car commuting could cost you $125,000 | Grist

And that was for just 19 miles. Double that, to 38 miles, you're easily going to be wasting $250,000 in a decade on that commute!

I'll agree that there is a cost to driving that far. In the 14 years I was at my most recent job I drove about 35 miles each way. That added up to almost 250,000 miles just to and from work. I'm on my 3rd vehicle and it has 97,000 miles.

But on the positive side (which the article doesn't mention) I don't drive expensive vehicles. My current commuter is a small domestic car that cost me about $15,000 new. the previous one was a compact domestic pickup that I 'retired' to weekend service (surprising how often family members need to borrow it :-)) when it hit 100k miles. Also insurance is cheaper because of where I live. Especially when the kids were on my insurance! I checked one time what insurance on two teenage drivers would be in Montgomery county. It was shocking!

But it comes down to where I wanted to raise my family and where I wanted to live. I don't think our family ever regretted it.

[ncole1]

Originally Posted by dkf747

That's what you have to deal with when you can't afford closer in. Yes, it keeps us down having to spend so much for transport, but often there is no choice.

If this is so, you probably have unrealistic ideas on how much housing space you really "need".

Factoring in commute, closer in is actually cheaper than further out if your housing is more modest. The problem is not the cost of housing, it is the idea that downsizing is simply not an option.

Look around, and figure out what you can do without. This process is very difficult at first, as you are likely to be emotionally attached to things you rarely even use (first hand experience here!!! )

But once you get rid of the superfluous stuff, you'll be surprised how little space you really need (even with kids) and in the end, the financially wise option is to live in modest housing closer in, and put your extra money away for retirement, instead of having it all eaten up by your stuff and its indirect consequences.

How should one decide what to keep?

Simple: Keep the things that you use, discard the things that use you

[dkf747]

Originally Posted by ncole1

If this is so, you probably have unrealistic ideas on how much housing space you really "need".

Factoring in commute, closer in is actually cheaper than further out if your housing is more modest. The problem is not the cost of housing, it is the idea that downsizing is simply not an option.

Look around, and figure out what you can do without. This process is very difficult at first, as you are likely to be emotionally attached to things you rarely even use (first hand experience here!!! )

But once you get rid of the superfluous stuff, you'll be surprised how little space you really need (even with kids) and in the end, the financially wise option is to live in modest housing closer in, and put your extra money away for retirement, instead of having it all eaten up by your stuff and its indirect consequences.

How should one decide what to keep?

Simple: Keep the things that you use, discard the things that use you

I have downsized as much as is humanly possible. My family of 5 makes do on a $50,000 income. Where are there affordable homes with good schools closer in? I have looked everywhere. These homes do not exist closer in, at least not in a good school district. As far as space, we are living in a 2 bedroom apartment that is only approximately 1000 square feet. Life is not as simple as you think it is.

[ncole1]

Originally Posted by dkf747

I have downsized as much as is humanly possible. My family of 5 makes do on a $50,000 income. Where are there affordable homes with good schools closer in? I have looked everywhere. These homes do not exist closer in, at least not in a good school district. As far as space, we are living in a 2 bedroom apartment that is only approximately 1000 square feet. Life is not as simple as you think it is.

A 2 bedroom apartment near the city won't cost so much it makes sense to commute 38 miles!

$250,000 of commuting in a decade is over $2,000/month. Are you saying rent on a 2 bed in the exurbs is more than $2000/month cheaper than near work?

You also have to balance school quality with the amount of time you can spend with your kids - with a commute that long, yes they may be in a better district, but is that enough difference for the kids to matter more than spending almost 2 hours less each day with both parents?

Finally, what about parenting ability? Even during the remaining hours you are likely to be more stressed and less effective as a parent as a result of that insane commute.

Yes, school matters, but home matters too!

[dkf747]

Originally Posted by ncole1

A 2 bedroom apartment near the city won't cost so much it makes sense to commute 38 miles!

$250,000 of commuting in a decade is over $2,000/month. Are you saying rent on a 2 bed in the exurbs is more than $2000/month cheaper than near work?

You also have to balance school quality with the amount of time you can spend with your kids - with a commute that long, yes they may be in a better district, but is that enough difference for the kids to matter more than spending almost 2 hours less each day with both parents?

Finally, what about parenting ability? Even during the remaining hours you are likely to be more stressed and less effective as a parent as a result of that insane commute.

Yes, school matters, but home matters too!

Yes, my rent is much less than the usual rent in the city. Not $2000 less, but much less. I do not commute to the city anymore, but when I did, I was home before my kids got home from school, most days. Now, yes, home matters, but I will not sacrifice my kids to the poor schools where we used to live (PG County, MD) just for that reason. You have to find that balance that meets both needs as well as possible. That's what led us to where we are now (Loudoun Co.). It's working out good. We were not able to find anything, despite years of searching, that allowed us to meet ALL of our needs, that was closer in. Things are just more complicated than you are making it out to be.

[ncole1]

Originally Posted by dkf747

Yes, my rent is much less than the usual rent in the city. Not $2000 less, but much less. I do not commute to the city anymore, but when I did, I was home before my kids got home from school, most days. Now, yes, home matters, but I will not sacrifice my kids to the poor schools where we used to live (PG County, MD) just for that reason. You have to find that balance that meets both needs as well as possible. That's what led us to where we are now (Loudoun Co.). It's working out good. We were not able to find anything, despite years of searching, that allowed us to meet ALL of our needs, that was closer in. Things are just more complicated than you are making it out to be.

How did you manage that?

[dkf747]

Originally Posted by ncole1

How did you manage that?

That was my schedule. It worked out perfectly. Here they're in school until 3:50 pm so it's even easier now.

[MD Vet.]

I just moved to MD from SC.
We absolutely can not afford to live near my job in Columbia, even apartments are outside our price range. Plus that side of the state is PACKED with people, very fast living, and everyone is looking out for number one.
After living in Gaithersburg (with family) for a few months, we decided to move to Hagerstown where my commute is 60 miles. I leave at about 5:30 and go home at about 3:30. Driving during off hours makes my commute one hour. But we can afford the things we find important, a real home, close to good schools, in an area with a more neighborly vibe.
We are doing just fine with the commute. I see it as some alone time between work and home, decompression. My wife doesn't like me very much, so it also gives her some time to hang out with her many boyfriends.

There are pro's and con's to weigh and only you can identify their individual value to your family.

For example, I sold my Tundra (I loved my truck) for a Jetta TDI, for the fuel economy

[dkf747]

Originally Posted by MD Vet.

I just moved to MD from SC.
We absolutely can not afford to live near my job in Columbia, even apartments are outside our price range. Plus that side of the state is PACKED with people, very fast living, and everyone is looking out for number one.
After living in Gaithersburg (with family) for a few months, we decided to move to Hagerstown where my commute is 60 miles. I leave at about 5:30 and go home at about 3:30. Driving during off hours makes my commute one hour. But we can afford the things we find important, a real home, close to good schools, in an area with a more neighborly vibe.
We are doing just fine with the commute. I see it as some alone time between work and home, decompression. My wife doesn't like me very much, so it also gives her some time to hang out with her many boyfriends.

There are pro's and con's to weigh and only you can identify their individual value to your family.

For example, I sold my Tundra (I loved my truck) for a Jetta TDI, for the fuel economy

You forgot the smiley after the comment about your wife.

Wow, 60 miles. Not for me, but I understand why you do it.