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Yes. It certainly can have a huge effect on your life. I would be very surprised if someone who has been abused suffered no ill effects from it.Getting therapy will help you a lot. Talking about it with people you trust helps a lot. When it isn't a secret anymore it will loose much of its power over you.
It is a thing that happened to you. It is not who you are. While it will always be a part of you ,you can choose whether it holds you back or makes you stronger.
Speaking as someone who also has a background of abuse. I just want you to know that I think it is very brave of you to post this question. It is not easy to come out and speak of things like this in the open and so candidly. It indicates that you are ready to heal and want to and I know you will have success in that. Not that it will be an easy road but it is a road worth traveling.
YES. Hugely. I was sexually abused repeatedly as a child... from age 5 until about age 16. What that man did to you changed you because it's a basic human right to be able to choose when, where and with whom you are sexually active. Children are to be protected, not used as sexual gratification devices. It's such a huge betrayal when an adult preys upon a child.
It took me many years of counseling to get to the point where I didn't blame myself for the abuse. It negatively affected my life in numerous ways.
The biggest piece of advice I can give you is this: When counseling gets too painful, KEEP GOING. It's hard to see the other side when you're in it. But it does get better.
I'm so sorry that you were treated this way. You deserved much better.
I should be seeing a therapist very soon. I haven't ever in all my life been to one but its about time.
I am 28 years old and male. Though I "suffer" from many overlapping disorders-depression, mood swings, anxiety, social anxiety, avoidant personality- I'd like to hear some unbiased opinion on this issue I seem to have.
I have never been in a relationship, ever kissed or done anything. This bothers me many times when my mind is idle. It isn't the age that worries me but the situation. I have been told I am (very) good looking by most women(and men). This is not gloating but statements to my case. I have asked 4 women out on a date in my entire life. One refused and the other three willingly agreed. Then I didn't show up. Seven girls(yes, I keep count) have asked me out and I have refused politely. My anxiety takes over. In my early 20s I cried to sleep. I wondered why is it that I don't have the balls. It is only later that the social anxiety took over other spectrum of my existence did I realize this is a disorder taking control of me.
It has been more than a year and a half since I've even talked to girls. It gets easier with time and now I even seem to enjoy it. But since the last three months the issue at hand which I want your trust on has besieged me.
When I was 7 years old I was sexually abused over a span of 3 months. A man would take me to his cabin(my father was a sailor and I sailed with him when young) and offer me chocolates. He'd make me sit on his lap, and then slowly get naked. He'd ask me to masturbate him.Then make me lie on his bed and give him oral sex. I hated it is an understatement. I remember to this day swinging my head left to right, begging him to stop until he came. Those few minutes are fresh in my mind even today. He'd dress up, dress me up and let me go. I don't remember much else but I must have been too scared to tell anyone(parents). I still have photographs of those times and I can easily identify him in them.
My question is: Did that incident have some kind of impact on my young brain...one that made me into this ball of anxiety? I am a hundred percent straight, I love girls but could it be that from then on my subconscious mind became vary of sexual stuff? I say this because I fantasize about sex but on the occasion I think of oral sex(giving her) I suddenly freak out.
This isn't something I think of often, also. In fact I had pretty much lost thought of it for the majority of my teenage and early 20 years.
I know this is a public forum but I just thought of asking anyway. I plan to disclose it to a therapist when I see one.
I am so sorry you ended up going through this. What happened to me devastated my life and only now at 60 am I going through therapy. When I was 33 I went to a group therapy and all it did was dredge up the pain and horror and I started drinking to cover up the pain and found myself an alcoholic, sober now. If you are going to get therapy then do it now so as not to continue ruining your life because it will.
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