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Immature and middle aged...warning this will be nasty.
From the beginning of time my brother, three years older than I, was the "golden child". He was/is outgoing and smarter than myself. For instance he is a molecular biologist and I simply have a degree in social work.
Naturally, he was treated better than myself. For example: he received his driver's license at 16 y.o, was bound for college from the get go, he played baseball and our weekends revolved around his games, while I played soft ball and there was no one at my games. I played miserably anyhow.
Naturally, I was labeled the bad child. For example my transgressions are infinitely worse than his, while he did crashed the family car, lied about it, and admitted it 30 some years later.
Now, that he is older and successful he has a penchant for talking to my mom like she is a piece of garbage. My dad passed away in 2000. Part of me, says well mom you created this monster and another part of me wants to defend her.
Anyhow, it's hard to deal with this. One of his friends told me when I was 16 y.o I could not expect a man to like me because I was so unattractive. I take these words and these growing years to heart.
It's difficult to deal with the reality I am sadly lacking. In fact I am not happy at all, but bitter that I am always the underdog.
Yes, I am in therapy and on meds, but I do feel bleak and hopeless and pissed off.
Well DON'T hang around with people who tell you those nasty things!
I don't know how people can be so mean? Anyway, as I say, there is someone for everyone. Go to Walmart and have a look around at the people. There are all shapes, sizes, and looks of the people there and most of them are there with someone else!
Someone for everyone...
Go volunteer at a senior center. The people there are lonely and need some company - plus they give good advice. Might cheer you up!
Well DON'T hang around with people who tell you those nasty things!
I don't know how people can be so mean? Anyway, as I say, there is someone for everyone. Go to Walmart and have a look around at the people. There are all shapes, sizes, and looks of the people there and most of them are there with someone else!
Someone for everyone...
Go volunteer at a senior center. The people there are lonely and need some company - plus they give good advice. Might cheer you up!
Take care!
I am fortunate, I found a job I love, working with elders and differently abled people. I have a nice boyfriend, but I still find it VERY difficult to have self confidence.
I have done the write everything positive about yourself...lately...such a rut.
I am fortunate, I found a job I love, working with elders and differently abled people. I have a nice boyfriend, but I still find it VERY difficult to have self confidence...
Good job! You are on the right track. Now all you need to do is distance yourself from those negative people - don't listen to their nasty comments.
I just walk away from such people when they start talking negative. I have better things to do and I DON'T HAVE to listen to them!
They are being rude and nasty - so all is fair as they say... Perfectly ok to be rude back. Walk away, hang up the phone, whatever to get away from them.
And spend more time with the nice people at work, your nice boyfriend, and other nice positive people. That is all there is to it!
Good job! You are on the right track. Now all you need to do is distance yourself from those negative people - don't listen to their nasty comments.
I just walk away from such people when they start talking negative. I have better things to do and I DON'T HAVE to listen to them!
They are being rude and nasty - so all is fair as they say... Perfectly ok to be rude back. Walk away, hang up the phone, whatever to get away from them.
And spend more time with the nice people at work, your nice boyfriend, and other nice positive people. That is all there is to it!
It's difficult, sometimes, I am on top of the world and other times looking up to see down. Yesterday was on of those days: rainy and icky.`
It's difficult, sometimes, I am on top of the world and other times looking up to see down. Yesterday was on of those days: rainy and icky.`
We all have those days, some just have more of them than others.
It sounds like you are on the right track and honestly there is no law that says you are required to interact with your Brother or your Mother if you don't want to.
Personally I agree that your Mother helped create your Brother and it is up to her to set boundaries for him and make him adhere to those boundaries.
If she chooses to continue to allow him to treat her terribly then that is her choice and nothing will change until she wants it to be changed.
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It's difficult, sometimes, I am on top of the world and other times looking up to see down. Yesterday was on of those days: rainy and icky.`
