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Status:
"Full time traveler? Maybe?"
(set 19 days ago)
76 posts, read 91,442 times
Reputation: 53
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It's easy to think about our military due to the world climate we live in!! Seeing as my life situation has my wife and kids in one state and myself about 600 miles away I often think of those separated and how you guys cope? Stay faithful? Continue to enjoy life? etc?
My big reason for not moving is leaving my easy 100k/yr job for a possibly much harder 60-65k/yr job. I'm just not excited about that option at approaching 40yrs old. I currently spend 18 days away and 12 days with the family, we Skype, text, and talk everyday.
Wife and I have been married for 20 yrs and kids are 16, 15, 13.
For the most part it's manageable, but I feel guilty much of the time for being here and not there. So, definitely different then the military I have a choice you guys/gals don't. I just feel like if I quite my great job and take some crap hole job that's great I'm with the family I can justify it, but what happens I 2,3, % 5 years when all are gone? Now I forever work at the crappy job lol.
I don't have any tricks as a spouse dealing with separation. I just put on my big girl panties and deal the best way I can. Sorry for the non-help but since we don't have much of a choice in the matter, it's the only thing I can tell you.
It sounds like you and your family are doing all the same things we do, Skype, phone calls, etc.
As to staying faithful? That's not even a question for me. I love my husband and whether he is here or not, I made a vow and I keep it. It's pretty simple.
It's easy to think about our military due to the world climate we live in!! Seeing as my life situation has my wife and kids in one state and myself about 600 miles away I often think of those separated and how you guys cope? Stay faithful? Continue to enjoy life? etc?
My big reason for not moving is leaving my easy 100k/yr job for a possibly much harder 60-65k/yr job. I'm just not excited about that option at approaching 40yrs old. I currently spend 18 days away and 12 days with the family, we Skype, text, and talk everyday.
Wife and I have been married for 20 yrs and kids are 16, 15, 13.
For the most part it's manageable, but I feel guilty much of the time for being here and not there. So, definitely different then the military I have a choice you guys/gals don't. I just feel like if I quite my great job and take some crap hole job that's great I'm with the family I can justify it, but what happens I 2,3, % 5 years when all are gone? Now I forever work at the crappy job lol.
Lots of choices to make
What are some tricks ya'll use to make it?
You are doing the right thing!
Maybe send some flowers or a little gift every now and then. Or a lovely postcard? Not too often, but just as a special something on occasion.
Cherish the time you have together. Seems like you have a happy marriage and 20 years of that is awesome. I think it is safe to say that a lot of other couples don't WANT to talk to each other every day anymore. Keep up the good job!
However, I would not do this until you retire. How about some night school or anything that gives you a chance to move back with your family within the next years?
Since my spouse has been a reservist and/or active duty-shore duty the entire time I've known him, I've not dealt with this yet. His deployments have thus far been all when he was single. The most the military has separated us is 3 weeks for AT as a reservist when we were first engaged.
... how you guys cope? Stay faithful? Continue to enjoy life? etc?
For most of my career I was deployed on average 7 months every year. Though I have never deployed with any females present. So I am not sure how to do it with females around.
My wife was allowed to send a 40-word text message, every 2 weeks. They are screened by a lot of people before the husband is allowed to see them.
We did not have phones, or Skype, or mail service.
Quote:
... what happens I 2,3, % 5 years when all are gone? Now I forever work at the crappy job lol.
I missed out on the majority of our childrens' childhoods. Even when I was home [called off-crew] most of the time I was in rotating shift-work. So for me, being home was more just visiting. Time off was like I was interrupting their routines.
I am not aware of any 'tricks'.
I did it for the pension. I see other guys who went out and started other careers. To me that defeats the idea of having a pension. As life-long workaholics, they will never time the time to simply enjoy.
You have a good income. Make the most of that income, invest like crazy. If you invested 50% of that income, how long until you could retire on your portfolio? Make that your goal, so when your kids are in their 20s and 30s, you can have the free time then.
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