Nephew left my garage door open. Thieves took $1000 worth of items (discounts, rating)

[kbug3]

I have four children, and let me tell you if any of mine (one being a 10 year old boy) acted like that..oh boy!! So, no your brother doesn't REALLY owe you anything, an apology, you want it ask for it, then see where you matter in the relationship. BUT I would never have them over again. I mean NEVER! If your brother can't get his kid to behave then they will soon realize they won't be invited anywhere. My children have friends I don't allow to sleepover etc, I tell them they can play with them at school only. Sounds like your brother and his family make excuses for the kids, instead of a good ass woop!

[Glenfield]

Originally Posted by Hollytree

Did I say take this case to a judge? It's family!

However, parents are responsible and can be held responsible for damage done by their kids- generally until they are age 18- probably varies by state.

However, the kid did not actually do any damage here. The most that could be argued from a legal standpoint-- and you were the first one to raise the legal angle-- is that the 10 year was negligent in a manner which contributed to the loss. The defense would be that the homeowner failed to take reasonable steps to secure his property, and that argument would likely prevail.

The OP should have been insured.

[Thedosius]

If a 10 year old is left in an adult's hands it's that adult's responsibility for the child- the parent has transferred their responsibility during that time and it sounds like the OP accepted that responsibility.

Even if the kid has a history of lying, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he lied in this instance. He genuinely could have thought he closed the door but as another poster said perhaps it popped open again or he didn't secure it enough. A 10 year old is a child and it's just a given that they'll need to be monitored and double checked on.

Etiquette wise, the OP's brother could have been more sympathetic, but ultimately the adult in charge of a child at the time is the responsible party. Also, behaviors allowed by parents can be made off limits by their adult caregiver- and I speak on this from past experience I've had doing daycare for children in court-ordered parenting classes.

If the kids lie in their parent's presence, shame on the kid and the parents. If the kids lies while you are the caregiver, shame on the kid and you. But ultimately it can and must be the adult who has responsibility for setting boundaries and laying down the law about what flies and what doesn't while they are in your care. A kid misbehaving under your care, with some exceptions, means the blame lies with you. Responsibility for a kid can suck, don't take it on if you don't like it.

[Dennis Schroeder]

Plus, from the parents perspective, why would they believe you?

[northsub]

You should be mad at the thieves. Isn't it possible that the kid did close the garage door, but that the thieves opened it?

Or that your nephew did close the garage door, but that someone else opened it later on (maybe your girlfriend got something out of the garage, or someone brushed a garage door opener button in the car )?

What do you want your brother to do if he talks to your nephew and your nephew says that he did close the garage door? You didn't even see that the garage door was open after your nephew put his bike in. That means it's your nephew's word against your assumptions. I don't see how you could punish the kid under those circumstances.

It sounds like you don't know what happened except that someone decided to take your bikes. Those are the people you should be upset with.

[bpollen]

Originally Posted by Cnichols24

Since I am moving soon, I thought it would be nice to spend time with my 10 year old nephews. They stayed the night at my house for 2 nights. The morning after we were going to meet my brother for a kayaking trip. The entire morning the kids were not listening to me and were very rambunctious. Being a kid once I know what it is like to have energy and be confined. I suggested we go for a bike ride while my girlfriend gets ready.

When we came back the kids left their bikes out front while I out mine in the garage (the garage is located in the back yard away from the street my car was parked on). As I packed the car with their things I kept reminding them we would be leaving soon and to be responsible for their bikes.

As we were leaving one of them still had his bike out front. I told him that he needed to put it away before we left. Over a few frustrating moment of him not listening he finally took his bike out back to put it in the garage. When he came back to the car, I asked he closed the garage door to which he replied "Yes."

Upon my girlfriend and my return the next morning, we come to find that the garage door wasn't closed and only my girlfriends and my bike were stolen. We are avid bicycle riders and spent about $1000 on our equipment. Odd part is that the thieves only took our bikes, leaving the kids bikes and also the lawn mower, snow blower, etc.

When I confronted my brother about what happened, his response was "that sucks."

His children have been notorious for not listening and also lying to their parents as well as others. My question is; to what extent should the parents be responsible? At bare minimum I would expect an apology and some sort of punishment, but all I received was "that sucks."

This is on top of them being historically negligent of other's belongings. I guess I just want other people's opinions on the subject.

Their parents aren't responsible because they weren't there, and the kids were in your total custody and control. In fact, if the kids had been hurt while in your care, you might well be responsible for that financially.

It would be different if the parents had been there and so had effective custody and control of their kids, even though on your property. They would have had a chance to take action to prevent the theft. But they weren't even there. You were.

You were the adult in charge of everything...the kids, the house, the bikes. Sorry. It was your responsibility to make sure your house was locked down, the water turned off, the gates closed, etc. You were in total control and custody of the house and the kids. You're lucky they didn't also leave the water running.

Sounds like it was an adult who stole those bikes. I guess your homeowner's might cover your loss, after the deductible. But I don't know if I'd turn it in, since it would make my premium go up for such a small claim. But maybe. But don't ask your agent and then don't turn in the claim. I have read that it's legit for them to note the loss in your file, which might raise your premium later, even though you didn't turn in a claim.

[bpollen]

Originally Posted by Hollytree

Children are always their parents' problem and responsibility- it's even in legal statutes.

The parents should have offered to make some kind of restitution even if not for the full value of the bikes- perhaps the insurance deductible?

No, that's not true. Parents are not legally financially liable for the damage their kids inadvertently do while not under their custody or control. I don't know why people think that, but they seem to think that. Legally, whoever is in control of hte kids (or should be in control of the kids) at the time of the incident, is responsible. In this case, that's the OP. If the parents had been there, this might not have happened.

Now if the kids damage something intentionally, I'm not sure. I think the parents may be held liable. But I'm not sure.

For example: If kids go to a sleepover at a friend's house, and there's a bb gun in a closet there. The kids get the bb gun and play with it, and one of the visiting kids ends up shooting one of the other kids' eye out....whose fault is it? It's NOT the fault of the parents of the kid who shot the eye out. Why? The kid wasn't in the parents' custody and control....the host parents' were supposedly in control. The bb gun was at the host parents' house, and those parents allowed it to be obtained and played with by the kids. So legally, the host parents' are responsible for the eye loss, no matter which kid did it.

[Ghengis]

Originally Posted by bpollen

No, that's not true. Parents are not legally financially liable for the damage their kids inadvertently do while not under their custody or control....

like if I'm swinging my kid around and around by his ankles and he slips out of my grip and he flies into an expensive vase...not my fault, not anybody's fault

[Hollytree]

The most important point is moral responsibility. If my child broke something or caused something to happen at someone's else's house, I would feel morally responsible and would make some sort of gesture of restitution. The idea that a brother would just blow off the incident is reprehensible in my mind - no matter whether blame could be placed.

[Glenfield]

Originally Posted by Hollytree

The most important point is moral responsibility. If my child broke something or caused something to happen at someone's else's house, I would feel morally responsible and would make some sort of gesture of restitution. The idea that a brother would just blow off the incident is reprehensible in my mind - no matter whether blame could be placed.

I don't suppose it's possible that the OP understated his brother's reaction to the situation because he's mad that he didn't get any money out of him. Could it be that the brother didn't pay because he expected the OP to have homeowner's insurance like a responsible adult?

Bottom line is the ultimate responsibility for ensuring the safety of the property lies with the OP, and having failed to do so, he tries to dish the blame off on a ten year old.