Widow with kids move (Naples, Christmas: condo, how much, house)

[Sandsam]

You may remember me. I was posting last fall about relocating from MN to FL.

Long story short, I'm now widowed with 3 school age kids. I own a house in N Naples that I have never lived in (like I said, long story). I am considering following my heart, quitting my current job and moving my family. I have spent 2 weeks in Naples. I absolutely love it. I know it's not paradise but neither is MN.

Would I be crazy to move? I'm 53. I have always lived conservatively and regretted the things I could have done. If I could find part time work, I could make a financial 'go' of it. Would it be easy for me to make friends, establish myself? I'm pretty outgoing and so are my kids.

Do all kids who grow up in Naples leave for jobs elsewhere? My kids could live at home and attend FGSU. But then, could they find jobs? One of my fears is that my kids would not find jobs when they graduate from college - but that's 6 to 13 years out. Maybe I am overthinking the future.

Thoughts? Pro and con?

[mollybygolly]

So sorry for your loss.
Absolutely, follow your heart and move south.
Your children will do fine, and you will meet people and establish yourself, as long as you don't expect it to happen overnight
Also, you ARE overthinking the future
One step at a time!
You really can do this, and I truly believe you will be happy and successful in Naples.

[RMD3819]

Wow! Condolences.

My first thought is not to make a major decision like that in the shadow of another major life event.

The practical side of me wants to know about finances. Can you find a part time job? Probably. Will it be high paying? Not likely. Enough to support you? Depends on your overall financial picture.

The kids and leaving-maybe. Don't worry about that. Your kids will have to find their own path whether in Naples or elsewhere. You won't really have any control over what your adult children do.

If you are thinking of not moving because you want/expect your kids to stay near you after college no matter where you are then yes-you are overthinking the future.

[Porschestuff]

We made the move here 3 years ago and don't regret a moment of it. One of our biggest concerns was our kids making friends. That took all of a week. We have made lots of friends here and haven't even once thought about moving back.

Oh by the way it was 84 and sunny here today, not too shabby for the end of February. How was it in MN?

Just do it already?

[Jinkers]

Originally Posted by Sandsam

You may remember me. I was posting last fall about relocating from MN to FL.

Long story short, I'm now widowed with 3 school age kids. I own a house in N Naples that I have never lived in (like I said, long story). I am considering following my heart, quitting my current job and moving my family. I have spent 2 weeks in Naples. I absolutely love it. I know it's not paradise but neither is MN.

Would I be crazy to move? I'm 53. I have always lived conservatively and regretted the things I could have done. If I could find part time work, I could make a financial 'go' of it. Would it be easy for me to make friends, establish myself? I'm pretty outgoing and so are my kids.

Do all kids who grow up in Naples leave for jobs elsewhere? My kids could live at home and attend FGSU. But then, could they find jobs? One of my fears is that my kids would not find jobs when they graduate from college - but that's 6 to 13 years out. Maybe I am overthinking the future.

Thoughts? Pro and con?

Losing a regular source of income is something serious to think about. With current obligations, I may, perhaps, follow a secure job, not my heart, to a place I have spent 2 weeks in. Good luck. Change is often good, if done while thinking clearly.

[Sandsam]

Thank you so far for your feedback. My kids and I are planning a trip to visit the Naples home. If my kids love it, I just might move. I am aware of the very tight employment market in Naples. Despite spending only 2 weeks there, I am fairly familiar with the town and economy. My beloved husband lived in Naples for a few months before he passed.

I think my greatest concerns are the schools and my kids making friends. And of course, living there a few months and realizing - oops!

Further opinions appreciated - thank you.

[The14Homes]

No one can know exactly what you are going through, but we can give you on some advice on experiences we have had. I’m originally from the UK. I had always thought about moving around Europe but never really considered moving to the States. I thought it was just too far away.
Then 10 years ago my husband and I came to Florida. We stopped in Naples for 3 days and I just fell in love with the place. It may sound corny now but I remember walking on the beach and seeing the sunset, looking around and seeing people really enjoying life ( oh and the fantastic weather). I knew then that I wanted to live in Naples. It took about 9 months to sell our home in London, get the visas and move. We have since added two wonderful boys to our family and I still have no regrets. Family is constantly visiting and the children have had an amazing childhood. I understand it’s a big gamble, the unknown always is, but when you look at the bigger picture, if you can afford a home and only have to work part time, you have lots of options.
Naples is a great place to bring up children. Everyone is quick to give negative comments on the education system here in Naples, but I have been pleasantly surprised. We have great private and public schools here and they all welcome parent involvement, so you can see for yourself how much time and effort the teachers are giving our children.
I’m pretty confident that you will make friend quick, most people are so friendly and as people spend more time outside here, you are bound to meet people with similar interest. Having children always makes meeting new people a lot easier.

Christmas in Naples is like a wet firework, but apart from that…..all is good.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

[RMD3819]

Originally Posted by Sandsam

Thank you so far for your feedback. My kids and I are planning a trip to visit the Naples home. If my kids love it, I just might move. I am aware of the very tight employment market in Naples. Despite spending only 2 weeks there, I am fairly familiar with the town and economy. My beloved husband lived in Naples for a few months before he passed.

I think my greatest concerns are the schools and my kids making friends. And of course, living there a few months and realizing - oops!

Further opinions appreciated - thank you.

Let's get down to the finances which should take precedence over this "follow your heart" stuff.

I don't mean to sound crass here but if you can't afford it here you should not move no matter what your heart or kids or anyone else tells you. Good intentions and emotions don't pay the bills.

That said can you afford it? Is the house paid off here? Another one to sell somewhere? It would help even if you provided a general income range or even your expectations about the cost of living here with your kids.

And having the trigger point based on what your kids want is another flag.

No matter what you think you do not know what it is like to live in Naples. Visiting for two weeks and having your husband live here is not the same as actually living here-especially with your kids.

On a brighter note don't worry about the kids. They will make friends and be fine. You are also ahead of the game by having housing.

Naples is a beautiful place but you need to have realistic expectations.

I apoligize if this sounds harsh but I am trying to cut through the emotional fog here.

[Sandsam]

Thank you RMD3819,

I do not mind 'harsh' feedback. I am looking for honest thoughts - and yours are.

I am curious why you focus on 'what it is like to live in Naples'. I agree; I have only been there for 12 days - and will add another week in April. I know that is a far cry from actually living there. What might surprise me, in your mind please? I am aware of the obvious - heat, snowbirds, traffic, etc. I'm sure there are things I don't know of. I would appreciate if you could share what you had in mind.

I do have a house to sell - one place or another. I cannot afford to maintain both, as I am doing now. Actually, I cannot afford to stay in my current house more than 2 years anyway so I must move at some point. The Naples home is far more affordable.

I can financially manage for a period of time without fulltime income. While I say I am 'following my heart', I have put in alot of thought around finances. 25 hours of work at min wage would give me what I need. I would expect I could find something a bit above min wage.

Thank you.

[RMD3819]

Originally Posted by Sandsam

Thank you RMD3819,

I do not mind 'harsh' feedback. I am looking for honest thoughts - and yours are.

I am curious why you focus on 'what it is like to live in Naples'. I agree; I have only been there for 12 days - and will add another week in April. I know that is a far cry from actually living there. What might surprise me, in your mind please? I am aware of the obvious - heat, snowbirds, traffic, etc. I'm sure there are things I don't know of. I would appreciate if you could share what you had in mind.

I do have a house to sell - one place or another. I cannot afford to maintain both, as I am doing now. Actually, I cannot afford to stay in my current house more than 2 years anyway so I must move at some point. The Naples home is far more affordable.

I can financially manage for a period of time without fulltime income. While I say I am 'following my heart', I have put in alot of thought around finances. 25 hours of work at min wage would give me what I need. I would expect I could find something a bit above min wage.

Thank you.

Read this post. Although it is a few years ago most of it is still accurate. A lot of people found it helpful.


Now I'm scared to move to Naples!

You can find work for minimum wage fairly easily. If 25 hours of that plus your other income plus your house you have a good start.

What I am trying to caution you here is moving here with a vacation mentality that everyday life will be like the postcards. We have the rat race here, too, just with better weather.