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I currently live in the paramus area and work in paramus. I live with my parents, but did it so I could save all that money instead of spending it on rent. Anyway, my new fiance lives in rego park, queens and just got a job in the city by 33rd and 1st ave. The whole issue of where to live has come up. She of course prefers queens, and me jersey. She always keeps on saying how it will be easier if I just find a job in new york so we could just simply live in queens.
Besides her working on the whole other side of manhattan, she is also motion sick. Some bus rides she has taken has made her kind of sick from the way the driver drove it.
So is there a town in jersey that would be manageable for her commute and would not have outrages rent prices? Or am I going to be screwed with living in queens? lol
I feel your painnnnnn,,,nnn, lol.
I have found over the years that I always like living on the solid mainland USA better than being cooped up on an overcrowded island, yet you will find that the "other half" just doesn't know any better since they've pretty much lived there and they don't know any better. To me, when I get out of Manhattan, I want to come back to the USA, escape from NY like in the movie.
Anyway since she works in Midtown well the PATH runs to 33rd St, NJ to me is just eons better than living on any NY island, at least when the day is done you can escape that place and go home, stretch your arms out, relax, kick back. Good luck. Been there, still in that spot a bit myself w/ the other half.
This may be overly presumptuous, but you guys sound like a young couple, am I right?
To "just find a job in new york so we could just simply live in queens" is a lot easier said than done.
My advice to you is to keep things in perspective.
Who says that your fiance is going to work at her current job forever? Actually, that's highly unlikely. And who says that this job is guaranteed to be located at First Ave. and 33rd St. forever? I know a guy right now who lives in Brooklyn and his company, which is currently located in the Wall St. area, is making plans to move to NJ. At my last job, I had coworkers who were forced by management to change locations from our midtown facility to our Secaucus offices. These coworkers lived in the Bronx and Brooklyn.
Same goes for you...this job in Paramus...is it a "keeper"? Or a stepping stone? And whatever the case may be, there are no guarantees--the company can downsize or change locations.
In my opinion, living in NJ is the better option, as far as the commute issue is concerned.
Your job can relocate to another part of Jersey or Manhattan.
(And when I say 'relocate', I mean either your company relocates, or you, yourself, change careers or jobs.)
Your fiance's job can stay in Manhattan or relocate to Jersey.
The likelihood of any job being relocated to an outer borough or Long Island or NY State is a LOT less likely than being relocated to NJ.
In the event that you settle in Queens, know that your commute to your current job in Paramus is going to be hell...you're kind of stuck in Queens with the island of Manhattan a giant obstacle in the middle, between you and the rest of civilization. Having to commute from an outer borough THROUGH Manhattan to NJ is no cake walk. But like I said, that might be completely temporary. You then have to count on finding (and keeping) a job in Manhattan...and this isn't something that you can "just simply" count on in life.
As far as your fiance's claims regarding motion sickness on buses...puh-leeze . She gets motion sickness on the bus but she's OK on the jerky lurching subway ride from Rego Park all the way into Manhattan, most likely standing, crushed up against a bunch of strangers, possibly with her face smashed into someone's armpit?
Uh huh. Besides, living in NJ doesn't automatically mean a bus commute.
There are plenty of places in NJ with reasonable train commutes into Manhattan. It depends on how much the 2 of you want to spend on rent together and what type of area you want to live in. Like people have already mentioned, you should look into PATH train and NJ Transit towns.
With the costs of having to pay for the toll on GWB and paying for gas, the commute cost is going to be a lot! especially since my current commute costs nothing since I travel about 10-15 minutes.
thanks for the help so far guys! the place I work for is very secure, and unless I leave or do something corrupt, I would never be fired.
And to answer what someone asked earlier, yes we are a young couple, but ready financially . She will work as a physician assistant and I work as IT administrator. It's just that paying for some luxury apartment is out of the question since paying for rent for them is simply in my opinion, a waste.
I completely understand where you're coming from. I used to live in Forest Hills, Queens (one town away from Rego Park) and my husband lived in Hoboken, Jersey. Once we got serious, I sold my home to live in Hoboken.
Hoboken or Jersey City would be a good compromise for you since your fiance can commute via Path or Bus (if she gets over her motion sickness) to 34th St. and walk over to 1st and 33rd. Might be a hike until she overcomes the motion sickess and try the crosstown bus.
I would not recommend you trying the commute to Paramus from Queens. It'll be brutal. Try to show her some of the nicer towns in Jersey and persuade her to move. Also, there are a bunch of great hospitals near Paramus (Valley Hospital and Hackensack are two) which also means good opportunities for her.
My son had the same problem with his now fiancee. She lived on Long Island for her entire life and he in NJ. After 3 years of him driving there for the weekends, and coming back early Monday mornings for work, he decided to move there after he found a job on LI. He still doesn't like living there, but she is a teacher and there are few teaching jobs in NJ. So, they're staying there for now, but hope to some day move to NJ.
It's very costly traveling back and forth!!!
Man, kinda similar to my situation. I've been living in NY for the past 5 years, spent 4 in Brooklyn and this most recent one in Queens. I moved to NY cause I had a job in Union Sq and the half hour subway ride was much nicer than the hour+ bus ride from where i lived in NJ. Then I lost that job, and was not able to find one in NYC (to touch on her idea to "just find one") I ended up taking one in Edgewater, NJ and still work there now.
I stayed in Brooklyn though. The commute was about an hour and a half, but at the time I was finally feeling settled and it didn't bother me much. Plus I loved my neighborhood! When I met my girlfriend, she was visiting a friend in Brooklyn but lived in Shrewsbury, NJ and went to grad school in Caldwell, NJ. As things got serious we decided to move in together and wanted to stay in NYC and ended up in Astoria. She got a great job in Manhattan, I continued in Edgewater, all was peachy until it was time for the semester to start again. The drive from Astoria to Caldwell at the times she had class were absolute misery (and still are) and she found parking nearly impossible when arriving home. Some nights she drives around for 40 minutes before finding a spot.
In May we're doing what we should have done from the start, and moving to NJ. She's going to keep her job in Manhattan (she's on 33rd and Madison, plans to walk from Penn or PA, depending if we live off a train or bus) until she finds something in NJ. It just makes more sense.
Of course you need to consider where you'd both be happy. Is she against NJ because she thinks she'll be miserable? It's a common preconceived notion of many New Yorkers, I won't deny that I felt that way. My girlfriend initially was worried that I would resent her for "making me move to NJ", but as I realized more and more how much more sense it made, not just for jobs and grad school, but for us as a couple, I embraced the idea. Now, I'm even excited to buy a car soon!
Look around central Bergen County and Hudson County. You'll find pretty decently priced places, easy access to highways that will take you right to Paramus, and a short commute into Manhattan.
Best of luck!
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. She gets motion sickness on the bus but she's OK on the jerky lurching subway ride from Rego Park all the way into Manhattan, most likely standing, crushed up against a bunch of strangers, possibly with her face smashed into someone's armpit? 
