Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Why are so many people in North Jersey so MEAN, ANGRY and RUDE?
I was asked this question today by a family member who is visiting from out of state. For me, I guess its just the culture of NJ in which we are raised.
They try and cling to a piece of history. Back when those old world immigrants arrived, they had to be tough because there were no institutional laws that protected them. People in North Jersey want to cling to that. I mean why wouldnt you. It is great that people respect you, but even better if they fear you right?
Why are so many people in North Jersey so MEAN, ANGRY and RUDE?
I was asked this question today by a family member who is visiting from out of state. For me, I guess its just the culture of NJ in which we are raised.
What exactly happened to cause your family member to say that? Was someone actually mean/rude to him/her (and did you witness it?) and angry about something? Or did this person infer (possibly based on stereotypes) that we all suck because we don't usually say hi to each other on the sidewalk or in line at a store or something?
Also, where is this family member from?
I have a friend from Orange County, CA who says similar things about people from New Jersey and the rest of the NYC area, usually because we rarely will say hi to strangers around here and strike up conversation with random people around us. We also tend to not wave to other drivers or at people on the street from our cars, which apparently they do? She was in the car with me one day, actually last week, and she randomly waved to guys who were working out on the street, total strangers obviously, and they gave her the most puzzled look. She was like, "what, you guys don't do that?" And I asked, while looking at her like she was a total freak, "… do what?" Apparently, where she's from, it's normal to wave at complete strangers from your car. I told her that no, it's definitely not normal and I got the whole bit about how we're not friendly and we're just different than people where she's from. Oh well. I resist the urge to tell her that she chose to move here, and if she doesn't like it, she can go back.
Anyway, this of course is not true for everyone, maybe some in NJ will talk to strangers or wave at people, but in general we are less friendly with one another in daily life around those we don't know. I don't see a problem in this. I see no use talking to someone I will see for 3 minutes while I'm on line or on the street and will probably never see again. I guess it is cultural but I think it is way overstated and over-exaggerated. We just have different priorities around here, I guess.
Why are so many people in North Jersey so MEAN, ANGRY and RUDE?
I was asked this question today by a family member who is visiting from out of state. For me, I guess its just the culture of NJ in which we are raised.
I'm surprised the out-of-state visitor found NJ people mean, angry and rude. I feel that they're very nice and friendly but undercover tricksters and shysters (not all but a large percentage of the population it seems to me). My complaint with them is all of the scheming and lies to get money from you or cheat you out of money. I've found that time and time again when doing business in NJ. When I was in NJ, I had to keep my guard up all the time until I came/come back to NYC, which is surprising because you'd think it would be the other way around but no.
Last edited by Klassyhk; 05-22-2014 at 10:38 PM..
Reason: added a word
I'm surprised the out-of-state visitor found NJ people mean, angry and rude. I feel that they're very nice and friendly but undercover tricksters and shysters (not all but a large percentage of the population it seems to me). My complaint with them is all of the scheming and lies to get money from you or cheat you out of money. I've found that time and time again when doing business in NJ. When I was in NJ, I had to keep my guard up all the time until I came/come back to NYC, which is surprising because you'd think it would be the other way around but no.
… Who exactly are you talking about? Where do you go where you run into people who scheme into getting more money out of you? What type of business are you talking?
I'm not trying to say you're wrong, I'm just a bit confused…
Well, let me say that I lived in JERSEY CITY so that may explain a lot.
I have a thousand examples but it's late and I have to log off soon. But it would be normal things such as going to a Taco Bell (gave the cashier a $10 bill for $1.75 food bill and she gave me back 3 singles, another single, and some coins instead of a 3 singles, a five dollar bill, and coins. I had driven down Rte 1-9N when I noticed so I called the number on the receipt and explained with happened to the mgr. The mgr appeared to be familiar with my story and was apologetic at all. In fact, she started hemming and hawing as if she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She said to give her a few minutes and she'll call me back once she checked. When she didn't, I called her back and the phone rang and rang, they wouldn't pick up. I made sure that I dialed the correct number, I pressed redial on my phone. Over a five lousy dollars the manager laid low. I dropped the matter because I didn't have time to drive back and argue about my correct change.
I saw a discount special sign outside a storage facility so I went inside to rent a storage space. The employee said "oh, uh we don't have any more of the discount storage space left but you can have this storage room for X dollars". I responded ok, I'll think about it. He then handed me their business card so I said I'll reserve the room online. He then said (admitted in a lower voice) "uh, you'll find cheaper rates when you go on our website than what I gave you." Hmm, why is that? "I don't know but that's how the company set it up".
Last story tonight, when I lived in NJ (for a year) a new management company bought our bldg from a single individual owner (months after I moved in). They informed the tenants via letter two weeks before the rent was due that they now owned the building and that rent can now be paid online four convenience. I went through all of the hassle of creating an online account on their website (which was filled with broken links and I had to call the management company several times to straighten it out). The receptionist assured me that I could pay online without problem. After all of the hiccups from their website, I finally got registered and entered my credit card information. Each task had it's own screen instead of everything being on one screen or two screens at the most. When I finally got to the 9th screen, it said please press SUBMIT. So I did. Then I notice in very tiny font (6 pt) the words "You will be charged a $27 processing fee for using a credit card". I kid you not! No notice in the letter from the management company of this exorbitant charge nor any indication on the website anywhere until you're at the last screen and right as you hit SUBMIT, the notice comes up. Needless to say, I never paid rent online to them again. I mailed a check. But this kind of thing was typical of my experience in dealing with NJ businesses.
My husband & I went to Gettysburg PA a few weeks ago. Everyone was so overly friendly, at one point I turned to him & said "Why is everyone SO nice? I love it!" & he said "No, people in Jersey are just so mean, that these people seem that much nicer!"
I don't think people from NJ are mean, angry and rude. Obviously, some are, because we have all types of people here, but we have friendly people, as well. However, waving at people working on the street from your car is just ridiculous. Why on earth would you do that if you don't know them? I would say hello to them if I were out walking and passed them along the way, but driving by? That's not being friendly, that's just being weird and seems designed to attract attention to yourself.
The fast pace around here compared to slower parts of the country may account for some of it. Because it's necessary to move quickly here because of the dense population cutting into time constraints, you must think on your feet. If someone mosies into a deli and stands there mulling over the selections and isn't ready to order when he or she is at the register, people who ARE ready and are behind you are going to be frustrated, and rightfully so. Be ready to order when it's time for you to order, or step aside off the line until you ARE ready. This is common sense, and I think acting like no one else but YOU is there is rude.
My husband & I went to Gettysburg PA a few weeks ago. Everyone was so overly friendly, at one point I turned to him & said "Why is everyone SO nice? I love it!" & he said "No, people in Jersey are just so mean, that these people seem that much nicer!"
Yeah but with all the fake niceness ("Minnesota nice" is a term you hear) how do you tell a person's true feelings/motivations?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She was in the car with me one day, actually last week, and she randomly waved to guys who were working out on the street, total strangers obviously, and they gave her the most puzzled look. She was like, "what, you guys don't do that?" And I asked, while looking at her like she was a total freak, "… do what?" Apparently, where she's from, it's normal to wave at complete strangers from your car. I told her that no, it's definitely not normal and I got the whole bit about how we're not friendly and we're just different than people where she's from. 
Oh well. I resist the urge to tell her that she chose to move here, and if she doesn't like it, she can go back. 
I'm surprised
