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If you don't have a preference in NJ vs NY and your home schooling, and renting, I would really think hard about some of these towns. Your short list is the upper crust with top schools and people pay 20k plus in tax (in NJ) and 30k plus (Westchester) you're not utilizing schools and not paying taxes. I lived in both Scarsdale and Glen Ridge. Both have great schools. GR has a 40 min train that is 45 min 3x a week, on time once a week, and 10 minutes late once a week. Scarsdale is a 30-35 min train on schedule everyday and sometime 5 minutes delayed. One goes into a crap Penn station with unorganized gates and another goes to a historical landmark station with much less congestion.
People treat Scarsdale Bronxville and larchmont as near seconds to Manhattan i.e. 30-100k in taxes to have the shortest train schedules to manhattan without having to pay private school tuition in NYC and NYC income tax. Towns in NJ are less in value, less in tax, and have delayed trains that run at a much slower MPH to Penn since there is congestion to cross thru tunnels into Manhattan. I.e. A train from Greenwich is 3x the distance from NYC as Glen Ridge yet is only 10 minutes longer. Sometimes it's a bit laughable.
I'm telling you this since it's seems that you have liberties in rental prices, towns/states, and are not dependent on schools.
So, in your opinion, having alternate backup routes from NJ is not a consideration?
People in Westchester don't concern themselves with backup commutes as do NJ commuters Mostly because many NJers use both trains and buses. If you live in a direct train town in NJ vs a direct train town in Westchester you may only miss a few days during the winter. It's not a game changer.
Personally with your rental budget, and zero dependency on schools, I would MUCH rather live in Brooklyn, Hoboken etc and find a place wth a small backyard than commute an hour plus each way for a yard that is 10 feet wider and 30 ft longer. While the towns you selected are nice, the plots will still be small compared to what you are used to, and your rent will be subsidizing the owners taxes, which are 60% plus allocated to schools that you will not be utilizing.
For example, you could find a two or three bedroom with a small yard in Hoboken. That is 1mm, 10k tax, terrible schools, yet 5k to rent, with a 40 minute door to door. Or live in a close suburban town in a 5 bedroom house with a marginally better backyard, 800k with 20k in tax, great schools that you won't use, that is also 5k a month in rent, but and hour 15 commute.
Although the idea of a backup commute sounds good, I commuted for more than three decades mostly by train. At two points for brief periods (about a year each) I lived and worked where I had to take buses. Other times I drove, though not on a regular basis for long periods of time, due to terrorist attacks, Sandy, and a stint in my job where I had to drive from NJ to LGA a few times a week.
But I mostly took one form of travel without worrying about a backup. I haven't taken a bus to work in decades.
Despite the problems with the North River Tunnels, the train is still the best way to go. It gets through in snowstorms when the roads are snarled up. It's also more comfortable (except for the PATH portion of your trip, which usually means standing, but you learn to bear it). You can read, nap, play with your phone.
I agree with others that you have a leg up because you have a comfortable budget to work with.
If you are open to Long Island, LIRR Port Washington line has some 35 minute commutes into NY Penn that might work. Forest Hills in Queens is also a possibility with 14-18 minute trip to NY Penn on LIRR.
Areas recommended not in NJ
-Garden City (Long island. Closest / nicest town to NY)
-Bronxville (Westchester. Unusually close to NYC while being a top town. I say unusual since it is nestled by not so great areas of Mount Vernon. But the housing stock is incredible. The same could be said for Pelham...and Glen Ridge in NJ.
You may even want to look at the Yonkers side of Bronxville. There is an area that has Bronxville address yet Yonkers schooling. But still beautiful 1920s tudors etc. houses are cheaper, taxes are half, but you need to pay Yonkers income tax since you're not in Westchester. Rent is probably much less here. This enclave is immediately west of Bronxville train station. Those that live there tend to send their kids to catholic schools and don't want to pay a premium in Westchester schools yet could walk to a true 30 min train station, nice safe downtown area, and live in the same housing stock as the balance of Bronxville.
........
We are probably all over thinking this. A very small percentage of homes are rentals, let alone available to rent. There may only be 1 to 2...or 0...homes (not apts) well located in each town that has been mentioned here that is 4k-6k a month. And you may not like the actual home to begin with. You may need like 5 towns to choose from when you're ready to move. Some may be in Westchester, some in NJ etc.
I think you may find yourself searching wide for the right rental home, as opposed to the right town.
Without going into a lengthy message stating my case with details (which no one is really going to want to read) I'd have to say that I think the amount of inconvenience that you'll get from a NJ commute is being a tad overstated. Yes, there will be occasions where you will be late (and that means later than normal late) but that happens with any transit system, even the Subway. Perhaps it happens with more often on NJT than others, but serious lateness is not exactly a constant. And unless you're living a fair distance out some sort of train will come, and you will make it to the city. Maybe you'll have to take a ferry or the PATH across the Hudson, but you'll make it to the office. And maybe you'll be an hour late. It won't really happen enough that it should be a problem if you're in a 'professional' position in an at least vaguely sensible office. Pretty much everyone is late due to transit a few times a year.
Really the best backup is being able to work from home in case of snowstorm, etc.
In the past year the only time I wasn't able to make it in on NJT was when everything, including transit in the city was shut down because of a blizzard. I can't really work from home, so I make it to work every day. The day before the shut down it was still pretty snowy and I had a whole train car to myself on the way in. People were not making it in on their own choice, not because of any reality. I think people overestimate the effects of weather on the trains. (At least once the trains get to Essex County they're fine.)
If you don't have a preference in NJ vs NY and your home schooling, and renting, I would really think hard about some of these towns. Your short list is the upper crust with top schools and people pay 20k plus in tax (in NJ) and 30k plus (Westchester) you're not utilizing schools and not paying taxes. I lived in both Scarsdale and Glen Ridge. Both have great schools. GR has a 40 min train that is 45 min 3x a week, on time once a week, and 10 minutes late once a week. Scarsdale is a 30-35 min train on schedule everyday and sometime 5 minutes delayed. One goes into a crap Penn station with unorganized gates and another goes to a historical landmark station with much less congestion.
People treat Scarsdale Bronxville and larchmont as near seconds to Manhattan i.e. 30-100k in taxes to have the shortest train schedules to manhattan without having to pay private school tuition in NYC and NYC income tax. Towns in NJ are less in value, less in tax, and have delayed trains that run at a much slower MPH to Penn since there is congestion to cross thru tunnels into Manhattan. I.e. A train from Greenwich is 3x the distance from NYC as Glen Ridge yet is only 10 minutes longer. Sometimes it's a bit laughable.
I'm telling you this since it's seems that you have liberties in rental prices, towns/states, and are not dependent on schools.
Don't minimize the hike from Grand Central to the OP's work location, though. Getting cross-town in Manhattan sucks. When I met my future husband, we were downtown on the East Side for an event. We both (unbeknownst to the other) lived on the Upper West Side. We were both thinking, "This person is really nice, but two (or three) train rides away? Nope." LOL. Fortunately, we figured out that we actually lived within two blocks of each other.
Don't minimize the hike from Grand Central to the OP's work location, though. Getting cross-town in Manhattan sucks. When I met my future husband, we were downtown on the East Side for an event. We both (unbeknownst to the other) lived on the Upper West Side. We were both thinking, "This person is really nice, but two (or three) train rides away? Nope." LOL. Fortunately, we figured out that we actually lived within two blocks of each other.
LOL. This is a good "only in New York" story. Glad you found each other and were geographically compatible!
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