Millburn's Culture regarding money and class (Westfield, Livingston: fit in, how much, big home)
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We are considering moving to Millburn, but our finances will only allow us to by a lower end home there that is modest to say the least. We would be going for the schools, but are concerned that our kids (both elementary age) will be given a hard time based on our unimpressive home and modest appearances in this very affluent town. For those of you familiar, what is the culture of Millburn regarding issues of money and class, particularly among the kids?
We are considering moving to Millburn, but our finances will only allow us to by a lower end home there that is modest to say the least. We would be going for the schools, but are concerned that our kids (both elementary age) will be given a hard time based on our unimpressive home and modest appearances in this very affluent town. For those of you familiar, what is the culture of Millburn regarding issues of money and class, particularly among the kids?
Although I have never lived in Millburn, I grew up in a very similar area in a very similar situation. Millburn is a great town with excellent schools. In fact, they are the number one school district in NJ and have been for as long as I can remember.
However, your concerns are valid. Your kids will definately be looked at differently. Kids are very perceptive and certainly understand what constitutes having money. In an area such as Millburn, if fellow kids perceive your kids as not having what they have by a drastic difference, they will let them know either directly or indirectly. Directly will mean taunting or stupid kid talk about your unimperssive home/cars/etc. Indirectly means your kids won't be in the "in crowd" and will be relegated to being outsiders simple because of YOUR financial status. Keep in mind this is certainly not a guarantee but a very real scenario that could play out. Something to think about.
As for you yourself, you will not be accepted by the "snobby" element of Millburn but that doesn't mean you can't meet some really great people/neighbors that aren't caught up in the status nonsense.
I understand where you are coming from! We wouldn't be able to live in a big house in Millburn. I do think that Millburn is a little more diverse financially than people think. It borders Springfield and Vauxhall on one side which are very different in regards to socioeconomic status. If your children can't find friends In their community because of the size of their house, then they should look for friends elsewhere. Millburn high has hazing issues that are recognized nationally. Have you thought about Summit? When we are ready to move (we are in Livingston), we will look in Summit over Millburn because it feels like a much more normal town. There is financial, racial and cultural diversity.
Does moving to a religious community matter to you? Here's my point... I have a friend who moved from Manhattan to Summit. She is Jewish and felt like Summit wasn't Jewish enough. She moved to a million dollar+ home in Millburn. She feels overwhelmed by the Jewish community there. My husband is Jewish (non practicing) and I am Catholic (non practicing). It is important for us to find a community that is a nice mix. Obviously, Livingston is very Jewish, and we both feel alienated from the community because we do not belong to any temple or group. So, if religious diversity or lack there of is important, just keep it in mind.
Thanks, I appreciate the response. My gut tells me it won't be a good fit, but I have no experience with that type of town so I don't want to just go on stereotypes.
We are considering moving to Millburn, but our finances will only allow us to by a lower end home there that is modest to say the least. We would be going for the schools, but are concerned that our kids (both elementary age) will be given a hard time based on our unimpressive home and modest appearances in this very affluent town. For those of you familiar, what is the culture of Millburn regarding issues of money and class, particularly among the kids?
You're worry about not fitting in, might keep you from fitting in IMO. Relax, who cares what other people think. Teach your kids not to worry about it either.
Unless you're dead-set on a town, maybe open up your possiblities. Look at more diverse towns like Westfield or Ridgewood with top-notch schools. Going in with trepidations about the class structure and how you & your kids may/may not fit in is not a good way to start
Just Flossin - I do not know where you gre up, but I grew up right next to Millburn and had a lot of friends from there who never judged or taunted anyone else for the perception of not fitting in. Even a modest home in Millburn is going to be a very nice home, and to make the assumption that these children who are still in elementry school will not be in the "in crowd" as they grow up is ridiculous.
How much does a "modest" home in Millburn cost? Just wondering because it's still going to be expensive and you can probably get more for your money elsewhere and not have to give up much in terms of school quality.
I would rather be the poorest in a rich town than the richest in a poor town. In otherwords I would move there. You can always save money over time and fix up the house. You can do what the pretend rich do, make the outside looks so great with landscape and stone and not let anyone inside ( HA), look go where the rich are , its always better, trust me. Plus in this economy there are plenty of rich people on Unemployment in that big home. I would take advantage of the rich town, people really dont notice, they are too busy noticing themselves.
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