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Can you imagine the chaos if the roles were reversed and it was 2 guys and one woman?
I have a story about that, and it ended pretty badly. Just something to consider, be glad that the situation didn't get out of control. All things considered, it went probably as well as it could have, considering the circumstances.
And I agree with the others, trust cannot most likely ever really be regained.
I don't think it's fair to keep asking your friend for forgiveness. If she's willing to, it needs to be on her timetable, not yours. As it is, I think she's being pretty gracious by allowing you a public facade of some contact. She didn't tell her parents or defriend you on FB and she acknowledged you at the gathering. That's a LOT MORE than most people would do. Some people would tell their parents why when asked or defriend you or ignore you at the gathering. She's not doing any of that.
And you're not a bad person because you made a mistake. I do think it's good you admitted it to her and apologized, but you need to step back and let her decide if and when she's ready to allow you back.
As for your mom, are you close enough to admit to her what happened? If so, you may want to talk about it. She probably won't be happy with the behavior, but at least she may back off.
So, if you were really a "best friend," you wouldn't have done this in the first place. I personally would not call you a friend after a ****bag move like that. Best to admit to yourself and your friend that you are a ****bag and move on with your life. If your friend still wants to be your friend, she will. If not, then let it go.
It sucks, but what you did was a serious betrayal....
If you want to make one last attempt at friendship, you might want to write her a letter explaining your feelings and once and for all. Close it out by saying, I know it might take a very long time before you forgive me, but when you're ready, please know I'm here or something like that.
Then let the friendship go and work on being a good person who'd never do such a thing again. Maybe one day she'll reach out again, or not. I feel like written words have a much stronger effect on people though, so you never know.
That said, if she does decide to be friends again, you'll have to spend YEARS rebuilding that trust.
I went through a similar situation 30 years ago and I still have not forgiven her.I expected so much more out of my best friend than I did my boyfriend. They had sex .
She called me a year ago and I just don't want to have anything to do with her-ever.
Not sure whether to post this in relationship or here but seems I'm single and it's regarding my former best friend, I'm writing it here.
She caught her now ex bf and me last year (not sex but it was getting close) and well I regret doing that to my best childhood friend. My parents know her parents but none of them know why we weren't talking too much on last week family & friends reunion; nothing more than hi and what's new. But then we just started talking to other people.
Well she said she forgives me but is not the same again (though I'm still on her facebook we have become more like acquaintances now; while I'm trying to get that friendship back). I'm really sorry. What else would I have to do to prove her I won't ever do something like this again?
Though my parents won't know this, my mother has lately comment on how it's weird that we are distant now and is suspecting something happened. We've been best friends since 4th grade till our sophomore year in college. This is when I got stupid. I made one of the biggest mistake in my life. Been trying to get her friendship and trust back since. Any thing else I can do besides apologizing which I have already many times. I was single then too.
Completely up to your friend and since you have already apologized leave it at that and see what happens. If you don't get the friendship and trust back let it go. It isn't like she has no reason not to trust you again.
Yes and she end up crying. If there was a way to go back in time and erase this I would but I can't do nothing now.
Her ex bf has been seen with another woman. He wasn't even fighting to get her back when she caught us. She send us to hell that day saying ''Both of you get the **** out of my life and then to me ''I didn't expect this from you, why, you were like my sister, I trusted you the most''.
We began talking a couple months ago but like another poster said, she's keeping me at arm lengths. I know it's not gonna be ever be like before, but hope she can one day recover from this and our friendship gets stronger.
Just today my mother was talking on the phone to her mother and they were commenting on how we've become distant and I think they're starting to suspect that something went on but doesn't know. Then she asked if something was wrong, which I lied and said no. I made up an excuse about school and my job.
The most mature thing you can do is own up to the mistake and tell your mom the truth before she hears it second hand. I would be so disappointed if I heard such a thing about my daughter from someone else, because that means she didn’t have the courage to admit her mistake and tell me herself. Having a strong character isn’t about never making mistakes, it’s about owning up to them, making the most amends that you can, and learning from the experience.
No mater how much you apologize to your friend, there may be no coming back from this. You betrayed her in a fundamental way and now you’re paying the price. It would show greater character and true remorse if you tell your mom the truth and tell her how sorry you are and how much you regret your mistake. You can learn and move on from this experience, but its very likely you won’t end up getting your friend back.
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