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I'm 28. I take care of two kids 8 and 11 (family friends)as a part time job after my regular job. they've been away for two weeks and after seeing them 6 days a week for almost 2 years I've missed them soooo much while they were away this vacation!
On Monday I get a text from them asking me to work the night they get home, to take care of the kiddos. I'm very happy to oblige, I've missed them so much I might have even done it for free! This was supposed to happen last night. I even cancelled a hot date who I've really been into, I happened to be house sitting and had access to an awesome place, but last night was the last day (and she couldnt come any other night before then). That was my own mistake right there.
Yesterday morning right before they got on the plane I get a text saying "hey we just heard the kids can come to the party so they are coming with us."
I was so angry. Angry at myself, angry at the fact that this is like the 20th time they've changed plans on me HOURS before and mostly just frustrated with the whole damn situation. Of course the girl had already made plans. Another part to the story is that I had agreed to give a ride home from the air port, so I did have to see them yesterday.
I reminded myself that I am an employee, not a family member (sometimes the lines get blurred) and to put my best game face on and just get them home and get out of there, even though I was still steaming angry for the reasons above. I was as pleasant as I could be but they know me pretty good, they know I was upset.
Here's where my immaturity really comes out and I JUST CANT HELP IT, BUT I REALLY WANT TO BE ABLE TO HELP IT.
When I dropped them off, I was asked if I wanted to hang out... my heart wanted to stay badly and talk and chat and be the loving person I usually am. However my brain was just too upset about the night, so I politely said I had to go and they apologized for the late cancellation notice. I did let them know that I had cancelled a date to hang out earlier..
So here's my question. I went home had a drink and chilled out. Why is it that I am not physically and mentally capable of getting over the stupid stuff like this and living in the moment? Looking back I should have just hung out with the kids earlier, listening to their stories about their trip, looking at pictures, etc etc etc, but I chose to be such a hard ass that I went home and hung out alone all night. Am I seriously ****ed up or what? Do I need some kind of medication??
I don't see how being annoyed at someone who changed plans on you hours before "for the 20th time" is being immature. I'd have been annoyed about 17 times earlier and probably would have replaced them with a more reliable gig.
Honestly? I wouldn't be at their beck and call if I were you. Sure, it's an employment situation, but they asked you to work when you weren't expecting to, on a day you would normally have had off. I wouldn't have cancelled plans for that.
My suggestion is to work on some boundaries. It's fine to be cordial and adore the kids, but as you noted, it is work.
Actually you made a good decision. You were angry and needed some space to let off steam. You also made a good decision to tell them you had cancelled a date to let them know that their changes had consequences. Better than being passive aggressive.
I feel bad for being such a baby about it though. The kids knew I was upset, they shouldn't have to come home from vacation to that because of their bonehead parents. I really did try to hide it, but didnt do a good enough job I guess.
It sounds like this family has become used to the fact that you're willing to drop everything at a moments notice for them. I like the other posters idea of setting boundaries with this mess of inconsiderates. Also, you may consider "training them" by not being available once or twice which will let them know that they have to be better planners when it comes to having someone watch their kids.
You don't need medication and you're not a baby. You did what I suspect most of use would have done. You needed time to chill and you took it. Your anger and being upset was fully justified. That's perfectly normal.
Rather than continue to be mad at the parents or yourself, let this be a learning moment. Remind yourself that this is job. Treat it as a job.
Set boundaries and parameters for the job. Tell them you need 24- 48-72 hours ( pick a number) notice for baby sitting availability if their original plans change. You have been at their beck and call for along time and now they're come to expect you to be there 24/7 at their convenience. You caused that situation, so now you have to fix it.
Learn to say no. If their plans change and you have already made plans based upon their original plan, tell them you are unavailable. Believe me , they and the children will survive. You'll also get treated with a lot more respect in the process.
It sounds like this family has become used to the fact that you're willing to drop everything at a moments notice for them. I like the other posters idea of setting boundaries with this mess of inconsiderates. Also, you may consider "training them" by not being available once or twice which will let them know that they have to be better planners when it comes to having someone watch their kids.
I think if you really feel uncomfortable about this situation, it is not bad to let them know what you feel, anyway, I hope this would not affect your normal work and life. When we face a choice, we need to know what's more important, then we could make the choice.
Get a reliable job, kiss these people goodbye and stop letting them take advantage of you. BTW... I suspect you want a family of your own so stop canceling dates.
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