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Not common, superficial friends you hang out and chat with, (though I don't have even that kind of friend), but someone who really, really cherishes you. Someone who understands you better than you can understand yourself. Someone who may well give his/her life to save yours. Novels, movies, anime series abound of such friends but I've never had nor seen a real-world example. I have had ppl in the past used and to pretend to be my friend to get
benefits off from me. Everytime i tried to make a friend, they really don't take the friendship serious enough. They are not interested being friends with me. I don't know what to do about this.
It's very rare to find a true friend. I've had maybe, 3 in my lifetime. My best friend of 32 years, died not too long ago. I have no one now to chat with and no one who totally understands me. Sometimes when she would call me, she would burst out laughing as I answered the phone. OMG
I would have to put the phone down because we would both be laughing hysterically. I know I will never have that again.
Any friends made in the last 15 years have been users and takers.
Not common, superficial friends you hang out and chat with, (though I don't have even that kind of friend), but someone who really, really cherishes you. Someone who understands you better than you can understand yourself. Someone who may well give his/her life to save yours. Novels, movies, anime series abound of such friends but I've never had nor seen a real-world example. I have had ppl in the past used and to pretend to be my friend to get
benefits off from me. Everytime i tried to make a friend, they really don't take the friendship serious enough. They are not interested being friends with me. I don't know what to do about this.
Do you find it hard to connect to people deeply?
I have several friends who I love like family, and have told them so (and vice versa). These friendships came about by establishing a level of honesty and intimacy, and that comes through meaningful conversation and sharing the real person inside of you.
oh my yes, they do exist. I have several friends who have been friends for years; some since childhood.
Too bad you haven't experienced such but it can still happen.
Having been a military brat I was always reluctant to enter into close friendships because in my experience most were here today, gone tomorrow as people were transferred elsewhere. Those whose paths crossed ours periodically often didn't seem to remember our past times together which I found hurtful. I always remembered them. In all fairness I do have to point out, as I discovered years later, I have encyclopedic recall. But as a child I felt that if I remembered, they should too.
Interestingly enough, it was only in 2008 and in my last year of work that I finally gained a true friend. She's 20 years my junior, never worked directly for me but really wanted to and after I retired we began communicating with one another and met for coffee once a week before I moved 2,000 miles away. We ask nothing of one another and have become each other's true fans. We still email regularly, talk occasionally and cherish and value one another. My wife is delighted that I finally have a real friend (she has two of long standing) and she and my friend have also talked and get along great. I truly enjoy it and now I know what I missed all those years.
In answer to the OP, "Yes!" Real friends do really exist.
Yes real friends exist, but not in abundance like Facebook friends. Friendships take time to cultivate. All of those attributes that you listed you want in a friend...are you willing to be all of those things too? If you want a real friend, you have to be a real friend. You need to be more selective in who you trust if all of your friends are taking advantage of you.
They do exist. Fall down in life at some point, like many of us do at some point and see who is standing over you reaching to help you. Those are real friends. Always do the same for them. Facebook people you don't see, and drinking buddies are not real friends. You will also miss your real friends when life gets busy and you see them less for a period of time. Its that connection at work. Hold on to it.
In the Bay Area, there are many who won't even talk to you if you don't have money in your hand. I really treasure the friends I do have but time goes by, and one by one, they are no longer with us. Time to reshuffle and make new friends but the old will not be forgotten. My best friend is my husband who is always there for me.
Not common, superficial friends you hang out and chat with, (though I don't have even that kind of friend), but someone who really, really cherishes you. Someone who understands you better than you can understand yourself. Someone who may well give his/her life to save yours. Novels, movies, anime series abound of such friends but I've never had nor seen a real-world example. I have had ppl in the past used and to pretend to be my friend to get
benefits off from me. Everytime i tried to make a friend, they really don't take the friendship serious enough. They are not interested being friends with me. I don't know what to do about this.
Yes, I have one I'm sure he will help me in any situation, and I will help him too.
Yes, they do exist. They are pretty rare....but they do exist. Sometimes I think WE have to become better friends though, in order to HAVE better friends.
Unfortunately, many of the people who complain about not having friends, are not really good friend material themselves. What they REALLY want, is to have more people whom they can "count on to be there when they need something". Sadly, they themselves, are not the kind of people who can be counted on to be there, when their "friends" need something from them.
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OMG
