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I have a bias against having adult children live with their parents. Particularly for 3 years or 5 years or 7 years.
Even 2 years is a long time. Yet I know that finances of today are not the same as they used to be when the cost of living was less, and when rents were dramatically lower.
I still feel adult children should try to make it on their own in their own separate dwelling. (and share a dwelling with a roommate or two if necessary). Yet I can see how finances may not permit this in all circumstances.
And some parents are quite wealthy, have a large house, or a guest cottage, etc where it makes sense (and even financial sense) for the adult child to live with parents.
I actually lost a life long long-distance friend because I gave my opinion that her adult daughter should not live with my friend & her husband, or if living together, then preferably just briefly - the daughter is still there SEVEN years later and the friend wouldn't talk with me after I gave my opinion. Shouldn't have given my opinion and should have stayed out of it!
Last edited by matisse12; 04-21-2017 at 04:33 PM..
Well, you won't believe this.....when my son started picking up his daughter for visitation, she had hot pants on. That's all she needed and back in the relationship he went. In 2015, still living with me, he told me he is going to marry her and in September 2016, they married. He is still living with me while she is in her section-8 apartment while they looked for a house. I was going crazy, needing to be mother-in-law. Finally, they found a house and going to settlement the end of May. After he moves, I can have company and friends over the way I like.
Its been a few years just saw this again from a rep. So basically he stayed several years, but got back into the relationship and married her? Original thread was from 2013 and he stated his plans in 2015. Did they get back together soon after the thread? Did he find full time work? Was their relationship better?
Its good things are looking positive. Its good he had a home with you during those years too. Many will not agree. But im curious on what transpired between the changes.
i have a bias against having adult children live with their parents. Particularly for 3 years or 5 years or 7 years.
Even 2 years is a long time. Yet i know that finances of today are not the same as they used to be when the cost of living was less, and when rents were dramatically lower.
I still feel adult children should try to make it on their own in their own separate dwelling. (and share a dwelling with a roommate or two if necessary). Yet i can see how finances may not permit this in all circumstances.
And some parents are quite wealthy, have a large house, or a guest cottage, etc where it makes sense (and even financial sense) for the adult child to live with parents.
I actually lost a life long long-distance friend because i gave my opinion that her adult daughter should not live with my friend & her husband, or if living together, then preferably just briefly - the daughter is still there seven years later and the friend wouldn't talk with me after i gave my opinion. Shouldn't have given my opinion and should have stayed out of it!
I totally agree that adult children should live on their own, that's why I posted this in 2013 to get things off my chest, because my son still needed me. My friends and I give our opinions to each other all the time, not to hurt but to help---it's all in how you say it. But if your kind advice cause your friend to withdraw from the friendship, you might be better off out of it now than later.
Its been a few years just saw this again from a rep. So basically he stayed several years, but got back into the relationship and married her? Original thread was from 2013 and he stated his plans in 2015. Did they get back together soon after the thread? Did he find full time work? Was their relationship better?
Its good things are looking positive. Its good he had a home with you during those years too. Many will not agree. But im curious on what transpired between the changes.
You are right. I spoke with him about a time to move out. Then about six months after the talk, he came to me and said they were back together and getting married. He seems to not want to live on his own. They got married in September and so far just having fun together, they are doing fine. They will be moving in their house in July 2017 so he is with me until then.
I am thankful for him, he is my only child but being afraid of the world as he was, he was draining me. This is not the girl for him, in my opinion but I am glad he will be moving on and won't be alone.
Thank you for the update. I would just leave them alone.
Sounds like he works hard and has established independence. Hope they are together for the long hall. If not, its good he has you for support. This is an important thing to have in a world that can be harsh to live in. I speak from experience from going through rough times in the past with no one to really help.
Good update. Thanks OP.
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Son still living with me after marriage
