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I have several lifelong friends. Not sure exactly when they turned into that or how it happened. When we hang up the phone there are the "love ya!"s but there have been times when one of us is going through something that we express how much we mean to each other. And it's always a little awkward. Obviously, it's reciprocated. We've been in each other's lives for a long time. I guess I've always been uncomfortable expressing my "feelings" when certain things are just understood. Not that I don't appreciate it. Just wondering if other people get uncomfortable or whether you expect this expression of mutual love and appreciation with close friends? Or are my friends overly "emotional"? btw, this isn't a circle of friends. These are friends that I have independently of each other. So it's not like a "thing" that we all do.
With my circle of old time friends, we express our gratitude for each other when we are all together, but bcs it's a group-directed thing, I guess it doesn't feel so...intimate, for lack of a better word.
Haha. Maybe I'm just socially awkward about this kind of stuff...
I think expressing your gratitude is wonderful. I have done it in cards and I say "I love ya," after the phone call is over, but expressing more should be done all the time. I once read a post by a woman who says that she sends cards to people. I saved her post because I thought it was wonderful and that I would do it, but I haven't yet. Here is her post:
Quote:
I always try to do this.. but I also paid it forward today... I sent cards to two neighbors and told them how much joy their yards bring me. I gave a glass of cold water to a poor young woman who was in need and stopped by my yard and asked if she could bother me for one. These small acts make my heart soar!
And that is what I will do today, send cards to some friends.
Most of my friends are independent of each other too and I have had them in my life for many years. Many of my new friends live in the same town and know each other.
I have two friends who have been my friends for 14 and 15 years. One always signed her letters and emails, "Love." I didn't. Made me uncomfortable. Took me about 10 years, and now I always end our conversations "Love ya!" Same with my other friend. It's awkward between us, but I actually said "Luv ya" to her first, and she said "Luv you too." We now always do it. But, none of us gush about each other all the time. But, we all regularly do tell the other that we appreciate them. And the two friends have never met - one is in CA a couple hours away from me, the other is in Canada.
Me and my friends don't. We have known each other for 20 + years and have been through many things over the years and were supportive for one another and it speaks for itself.
Sure I express how important my friends are. There's lots of hugs and I love you's. That extends to their pets and shorties too. I haven't met anyone yet that didn't want to feel the love, well maybe a couple of cats but they had no choice in the matter. That kitty is getting a hug.
My two best friends in the world are not very demonstrative. I come from a family that regularly says I love you and hugs and kisses.
But there was a time in my life when people were trashing me in an unjustified way - one of those best friends went to the mat for me without a second thought. Recently the other was discussing some books with me that I dearly wanted but had put off buying until my next paycheck - we are both major book lovers. She sent me all three books as an "early birthday present."
We have been friends for 25 years - they have proven time and time again that they have my back. And Ive done the same for them. I'm usually open and up-front about my feelings, but sometimes the words aren't needed.
If they've been a true, supportive friend, I'd tell them during a particularly hard time I may have gone through when they were a shoulder to cry on. Otherwise, just being a good, steady, solid friend overall, that's when you say your kind words of appreciation when it's time to give them birthday & holiday cards & gifts.
I have several lifelong friends. Not sure exactly when they turned into that or how it happened. When we hang up the phone there are the "love ya!"s but there have been times when one of us is going through something that we express how much we mean to each other. And it's always a little awkward. Obviously, it's reciprocated. We've been in each other's lives for a long time. I guess I've always been uncomfortable expressing my "feelings" when certain things are just understood. Not that I don't appreciate it. Just wondering if other people get uncomfortable or whether you expect this expression of mutual love and appreciation with close friends? Or are my friends overly "emotional"? btw, this isn't a circle of friends. These are friends that I have independently of each other. So it's not like a "thing" that we all do.
With my circle of old time friends, we express our gratitude for each other when we are all together, but bcs it's a group-directed thing, I guess it doesn't feel so...intimate, for lack of a better word.
Haha. Maybe I'm just socially awkward about this kind of stuff...
I have a few friends that have been my best friends since we were in preschool/kindergarten. There are four of us. We all know each other but varying degrees of friendship. The one guy, "Matt", dated my other friend "Laura". They broke up and not on good terms. But both "Matt" and "Laura" dislike my other best friend "Sara". But all three are my best friends. "Matt" is in the military and has been stationed far away but we talk every few months. When I was badly injured in a car wreck a few years ago though he took off and came to see me everyday, including days I was in a coma. He only left when I told him too, when he was sure I was fine.
"Laura" and "Sara" live close and we hang out more often. I'm closest though with "Laura" and over the years we have written letters to each other thanking the other for being a friend and being there for everything in each other's lives. I know things about her no one else knows, and her me. We used to live at each other's homes literally. It was a rare thing if one or the other wasn't at each other's homes. Even when we had work the other would stay. We are each also close to each other's families. Same with "Laura" but "Matts" parents are kind of standoffish and very religious and were very against girls coming over when he was younger. The only girl she let around was me, I guess because she knew we were more brother sister then anything else.
I don't think its weird to tell a friend how much they mean To you. I always find it weird though when someone doesn't have any close friends from childhood or that go back far. My ex didn't have any friends other then recent work related friends. He thought it was weird I was close to people from preschool. I think its much more odd to not have anybody close (but now, after breaking up and realizing he's an abusive person with narcissistic tendencies it makes sense he never had a friend who lasted or went deeper then someone to go out to the bar with).
The OP mentions two different things... liking and loving.
"Do you tell your friends how much you like them?"
No. Since they are my friends, and I am theirs, we pretty much KNOW that we like each other. Why spend time with people you do not like?
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