How to best find some1 to attend local concert with? (girlfriend, female)
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There's a major concert I want to go to that's within 1 hour or so driving distance from me and also within 1 hour of a major city. I've exhausted asking the people already in my social circle and either there isn't interest or people can't make it. I very much want to attend, but won't go alone. I've been trying for weeks to put the word out online to find someone. I've tried Craigslist, I've tried a site called tastebuds.fm which is supposed to be for this express purpose, finding like minded local people to go to concerts with. I've gotten a few meager responses but after following up on those nobody's been the 'right' person just yet. I'm a guy and would prefer to go with a single woman as a date 'type' outing but it can be platonic and I've mentioned that. It's frustrating because it's a popular group who I know a lot of people like and I live close to a major city, I know there's people out there who would be interested that I'd click with, I just can't seem to find them. Only ideas I have left are to post classifieds in newspapers (but I'm under 35 and how many young people even read these, these days?) or finding fan forums for the band online and hoping someone who posts there lives in my state and doesn't have tickets yet? That seems like a long shot. Ideas anyone? Experiences finding someone for an event on short notice that you didn't previously know?
I think that by mentioning that you only want to go with "a single woman as a date 'type'" raises a lot of red flags for women. So, that's why you aren't getting a lot of takers. Craigslist, as someone once put it, is like the wild, wild west---no rules, no screening of ads. There have been far too many stories about women getting killed or raped by answering ads like yours.
I'm not saying that you are going to do something like that. Rather, I'm saying that most women are leery of such ads.
Your assumptions and expectations are way off base. You expect a woman who does not know you to get in a car with you- a total stranger - and drive an hour away into the unknown.
Then what's with this city an hour away from there. Were expecting to go to this city with this woman after the concert? And do what ? You said it could platonic but are you hoping for something else ?
Simply put, for a woman, you've got huge red flags flying around your idea. If you can't get friends to do this, then don't expect an unknown woman to jump at the idea. You're a grown man, so if you really want to go , just go by yourself .
Go by yourself. It's not as dreadful as you might think. And if it's a lawn type event, you can seat yourself near a group and perhaps you'll make some friends.
Do you really expect a woman you don't know to hop into a car with you and go to an out of town concert? Go by yourself and have a good time; it's not that big of a deal. I do understand trying to meet someone and, if I went the Craigslist (or whatever) route, I would say that I am looking for a date to X concert on this date and time. I want us both to be comfortable and get to know each other a little bit before hand, so meet for coffee one day. If that goes alright, move on to dinner or a movie, etc. in order to establish some familiarity. There aren't a whole lot of free spirited, Bohemian hippy chicks out there any more who are willing to engage in what should be viewed as risky behavior.
I think that by mentioning that you only want to go with "a single woman as a date 'type'" raises a lot of red flags for women.
If you reread my post you'll see I mentioned that I included in my postings that it could be a platonic outing and I didn't care. What I didn't mention was I was offering to pay for their ticket. I would be open to them bringing a girlfriend or whatever if it made them feel better but I'm not going to front money for multiple people I don't know, they could gab amongst themselves the whole time and ignore me, wouldn't be much different than going by myself if that was the case. I'm aware of rentafriend, have never tried it, will check it out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by willow wind
Your assumptions and expectations are way off base. You expect a woman who does not know you to get in a car with you- a total stranger - and drive an hour away into the unknown.
Then what's with this city an hour away from there. Were expecting to go to this city with this woman after the concert? And do what ? You said it could platonic but are you hoping for something else?
Yes, how dare I assume and expect I can attend a public concert with an attractive young woman, myself being an attractive young man as a first meeting type thing. The nerve of me wanting to be social, meet someone new, and see a band I like I've never seen before, how abnormal and unreasonable.
I didn't include in my original post that I specifically said I'd meet up with the person beforehand, on a prior day to get to know each other at least a little bit. Also I've seen every episode of MTV's Catfish, I would have concerns of my own that someone is who they say they are in words and pictures. Would pretty much require a skype session before meeting anywhere at all.
What's with this city an hour away from there? I think you misunderstand. The concert is not in the city I live in, it's about 90 minutes away...so I have to drive to the concert...I was offering to give them a ride there and back if it made logistical sense, based on where they live in relation to me and the venue. I didn't ask or expect to go anywhere AFTER the concert, I intended to bring them home. I said it could be platonic, yes, I didn't say in my postings I was hoping for something else. I also said we could just meet at the concert, a public concert that 20k other people will be at, there was never any absolute demand I give them a lift, I was appealing to those who have transport difficulties or wouldn't want to make the drive, in part.
Quote:
Originally Posted by apexgds
Go by yourself. It's not as dreadful as you might think. And if it's a lawn type event, you can seat yourself near a group and perhaps you'll make some friends.
There is a lawn but I wanted to get good seats, wanted someone to sit next to for a few hours and talk, and walk around with prior to the show starting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by joe from dayton
There aren't a whole lot of free spirited, Bohemian hippy chicks out there any more who are willing to engage in what should be viewed as risky behavior.
This is true isn't it, I mean I already knew that...it's just I'm past college age, many of my peers are married or unmarried, but with kids, very busy careers, etc, so it's difficult to meet new friends. I think it's sad there's less girls like that than there were in say, the 60s, and 70s, when hitchhiking and all that was common, I'm the throwback male equivalent in some ways, you could say. Free spirit, just wanted someone to see a show with.
There is a lawn but I wanted to get good seats, wanted someone to sit next to for a few hours and talk, and walk around with prior to the show starting.
Well if you can't find anyone to go with you, I still say go by yourself and hang on the lawn. It would be better than not going at all.
yes go by yourself and you might actually meet someone nice and want to spend time with and if you don't then that is life and things can change in an instant .
You may have good intentions but a woman reading your ad really has no idea who you are. She has no idea if you will do what you say you will do, if you will take her where you say you will. If she gets in your car she has no idea where you will take her. She has no idea if You will force yourself on her after the concert or other wise try to her. You have to admit it's a risky proposal. Now i did something similar afew years ago. I got in someone's car and went on a date with someone i met on okcupid. Everything went fine and i was not killed/mutilated/raped or otherwise hurt in anyway. But I was a bit reckless and feeling adventurous. I probably wouldn't do that again. Most women i know Will not do things like this. So while you May find a woman who is willing to take you up on your offer, i would say go alone if there are no takers.
Your assumptions and expectations are way off base. You expect a woman who does not know you to get in a car with you- a total stranger - and drive an hour away into the unknown.
Then what's with this city an hour away from there. Were expecting to go to this city with this woman after the concert? And do what ? You said it could platonic but are you hoping for something else ?
Simply put, for a woman, you've got huge red flags flying around your idea. If you can't get friends to do this, then don't expect an unknown woman to jump at the idea. You're a grown man, so if you really want to go , just go by yourself .
Agree, no woman with any common sense is going to get in a car with a strange man to go to some concert 90 minutes away, unless she wants to end up being profiled on Dateline NBC.
OP, you got an attitude when people pointed this out. I think you need to ask yourself why a self described attractive man doesn't know one female he can ask.
I realize a lot of younger people lack social skills these days and spend all their time(at least in public) staring down on their smart phones, even when they have people sitting across from them. I have lost track of the number of times I will see two or three younger people at say a Starbucks at the same table and no one is talking, they're all texting the whole time. I find that sad.
In the old days(the 80s) a guy would say to a girl "Hey, I have a two tickets to go see ______, next Saturday night, would you like to go with me".
I realize the 80s were a simpler and IMO a better decade, but I still think that approach could work in 2014.
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