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My dear I share almost exactly the same views with you and I am old enough to be your mom. I do believe in God but this is a personal thing and I dont hold grudges against those who dont. After all that's been going on in Catholic faith yes, I can see how many people see it as a waste of time. However I am very compassionate about people who do good through religion. Sufi people are good, Tibetan people are good and so on. I have vegan and vegetarian friends. I eat fish and chicken but not too much. I will be vegetarian one day. I hate hunting and yes tobacco is terrible but it is banned in public places.
I can't possibly understand how you can't find people who share your opinions or to make friends with. In Europe (where I came from) many people think like you. Here in US, many liberals think like you, but probably highly educated people, on either coasts. I suggest you move from where you are to a city and get in touch with like minded. Probably university kind of people - aka researchers, or working in academia - would be like you. Don't give up and dont waste your time with people who mock or dont understand you. Life is short.
Last edited by XRiteMA98; 06-25-2014 at 03:09 PM..
My dear I share almost exactly the same views with you and I am old enough to be your mom. I do believe in God but this is a personal thing and I dont hold grudges against those who dont. After all that's been going on in Catholic faith yes, I can see how many people see it as a waste of time. However I am very compassionate about people who do good through religion. Sufi people are good, Tibetan people are good and so on. I have vegan and vegetarian friends. I eat fish and chicken but not too much. I will be vegetarian one day. I hate hunting and yes tobacco is terrible but it is banned in public places.
I can't possibly understand how you can't find people who share your opinions or to make friends with. In Europe (where I came from) many people think like you. Here in US, many liberals think like you, but probably highly educated people, on either coasts. I suggest you move from where you are to a city and get in touch with like minded. Probably university kind of people - aka researchers, or working in academia - would be like you. Don't give up and dont waste your time with people who mock or dont understand you. Life is short.
Thanks : )
I just wanted to comment on how you say you like people who do good through religion...well I feel people shouldn't need religion as an excuse to do good, i.e. shouldn't need to feel they're scoring points with God, etc. ; I have always felt a need to be a good person just for the sake of that, rather than to go to heaven etc. (although I don't really believe most churchgoers actually believe in heaven and hell...it seems like a rather outdated notion).
What don't you think "so"?? When one takes things out of context it simply shows you are not letting the facts get in the way of a debate or discussion. Take hunting and eating dead bodies err "meat". Those who continue to live in places away from civilization need to depend on land and water to feed and sustain themselves. If you are living in areas where life is more "evolved" and you have access to gazillions of options which are meat free and yet allow your complete sustenance then the argument that animals must be killed to become "food" is rather dumb. So each argument for and against is always relevant in a specific contex. There are no absolute truths in life.
Ahh, West Coaster, you've got my back again in responding to an overtly illogical and daft comment!
Nice work using your brain mister.
I just wanted to note to everyone that I wouldn't actually disqualify someone from being my friend if they believe in the vague concept of God/a superior force, or whatever people mean when they say they're spiritual... It's only if they were to actually take stories like Noah's Ark and angels, and various specifically ridiculous things literally. There are just too many religions impounded into childrens' brains depending on where you live in the world, each culture taking "ancient texts" etc. at face value... spending so much time sustaining them... oh my, such silliness, I could not bear to engage with someone who lacks proper sense...
My current boyfriend was raised a Protestant and says he believes in God but does not attend church... I have no problem with that...
Also it's incredibly hard to find a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral reasons in the general masses, so it would be a bit extreme to disqualify someone for that...although I'd just prefer someone who is more similar to me... similar diet does make eating out a little easier too
I just wanted to note to everyone that I wouldn't actually disqualify someone from being my friend if they believe in the vague concept of God/a superior force, or whatever people mean when they say they're spiritual... It's only if they were to actually take stories like Noah's Ark and angels, and various specifically ridiculous things literally. There are just too many religions impounded into childrens' brains depending on where you live in the world, each culture taking "ancient texts" etc. at face value... spending so much time sustaining them... oh my, such silliness, I could not bear to engage with someone who lacks proper sense...
My current boyfriend was raised a Protestant and says he believes in God but does not attend church... I have no problem with that...
Also it's incredibly hard to find a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral reasons in the general masses, so it would be a bit extreme to disqualify someone for that...although I'd just prefer someone who is more similar to me... similar diet does make eating out a little easier too
SS, as i said, i believe strongly in god, and i accept the word of the bible on faith. i wasnt there so i cant tell you if the stories are accurate or not. that said, i dont force my faith on anyone else.
as for eating out, if i were out with a vegetarian like yourself, i would very likely try items on the vegetarian section of the menu, or go to a vegetarian restaurant with you, if we were friends. i have no problem with that. i try to make my friends comfortable around me, and that usually means that i accept their views, and those that we dont agree on, i dont take personally, and i dont force my views on them. i will debate my friends though on things we dont agree on, but i wont try to change their minds.
my only issue with you is your attitude, not your beliefs. i dont know everything, so i know that you dont either.
Also it's incredibly hard to find a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral reasons in the general masses, so it would be a bit extreme to disqualify someone for that...although I'd just prefer someone who is more similar to me... similar diet does make eating out a little easier too
Absolutely false. Depends on where you are. There are plenty of places were the meat eaters seem like endangered species. How much traveling have you done as an adult? I'm guessing it's not much given your age. Get the hell out of BC and see the world.
My first impression after reading this post was you come across as rigid. Sure, there are probably people out there who share the majority of your beliefs and convictions, but no one likes knowing they have to meet a checklist before they can become friends. It gets tiring to have to live up to certain expectations about what you can and cannot believe or think-- it just comes off as intolerant.
I used to think a lot like you when I was your age. I was tired of being around people who thought promiscuity was the number one goal in life, who thought getting drunk was equivalent to "fun," and could barely string a thoughtful sentence together. I just came across as ******y, uptight and rigid. I gave the impression I wasn't willing to be flexible or adapt and people who have those qualities are very, very difficult people to be around. Let alone be their friend! My main problem is I thought I was stuck with the people who I was friends with and just sucked it up, but it just made me bitter.
Honestly if I were you, I'd stick to solitude. When I was your age, I would have saved myself a lot of grief if I had done that. Sometimes looking for friends with a checklist is too much work and it's not fair to ask from other people...you have to start by changing your expectations of others. Stop expecting so much from others, because people will always disappoint. People won't always have the same priorities, beliefs, opinions or ideas as yourself so why go out with this friendship template only to be let down? You have got to be way more complex than a list.
I've already learned I'm never going to find people who think like me for the most part, or share my ideas and beliefs. As funny as this sounds, it's okay now. I'm older and have different priorities. Even though I'm unemployed (temporarily) I consider myself to have a "full life." I do what I want when I want, and don't care if there are friends to go to things with or tag along with. Maybe your problem isn't friends. Maybe it's not having what you want out of life. Figure that out first and maybe the friends will come later.
SS, as i said, i believe strongly in god, and i accept the word of the bible on faith. i wasnt there so i cant tell you if the stories are accurate or not. that said, i dont force my faith on anyone else.
as for eating out, if i were out with a vegetarian like yourself, i would very likely try items on the vegetarian section of the menu, or go to a vegetarian restaurant with you, if we were friends. i have no problem with that. i try to make my friends comfortable around me, and that usually means that i accept their views, and those that we dont agree on, i dont take personally, and i dont force my views on them. i will debate my friends though on things we dont agree on, but i wont try to change their minds.
my only issue with you is your attitude, not your beliefs. i dont know everything, so i know that you dont either.
I don't want to change anyone's mind either. What a waste of energy
My first impression after reading this post was you come across as rigid. Sure, there are probably people out there who share the majority of your beliefs and convictions, but no one likes knowing they have to meet a checklist before they can become friends. It gets tiring to have to live up to certain expectations about what you can and cannot believe or think-- it just comes off as intolerant.
I used to think a lot like you when I was your age. I was tired of being around people who thought promiscuity was the number one goal in life, who thought getting drunk was equivalent to "fun," and could barely string a thoughtful sentence together. I just came across as ******y, uptight and rigid. I gave the impression I wasn't willing to be flexible or adapt and people who have those qualities are very, very difficult people to be around. Let alone be their friend! My main problem is I thought I was stuck with the people who I was friends with and just sucked it up, but it just made me bitter.
Honestly if I were you, I'd stick to solitude. When I was your age, I would have saved myself a lot of grief if I had done that. Sometimes looking for friends with a checklist is too much work and it's not fair to ask from other people...you have to start by changing your expectations of others. Stop expecting so much from others, because people will always disappoint. People won't always have the same priorities, beliefs, opinions or ideas as yourself so why go out with this friendship template only to be let down? You have got to be way more complex than a list.
I've already learned I'm never going to find people who think like me for the most part, or share my ideas and beliefs. As funny as this sounds, it's okay now. I'm older and have different priorities. Even though I'm unemployed (temporarily) I consider myself to have a "full life." I do what I want when I want, and don't care if there are friends to go to things with or tag along with. Maybe your problem isn't friends. Maybe it's not having what you want out of life. Figure that out first and maybe the friends will come later.
Hmm maybe you're right.
It seems like the only thing I really want is a satisfying romance. Platonic friendships cannot fill the hole in my heart. I have no family or friends, so want closeness so much it hurts. I'm more picky with girl friends than potential partners, wonder if that's normal hmm..
It seems like the only thing I really want is a satisfying romance. Platonic friendships cannot fill the hole in my heart. I have no family or friends, so want closeness so much it hurts. I'm more picky with girl friends than potential partners, wonder if that's normal hmm..
Listen, I hear you. I've been there, and in the end I realized I wasted SO MANY YEARS chasing after stupid friendships and making friendships. I could have been cultivating myself or spending that energy improving my marriage and encouraging my husband to work on his self-development. So many wasted years, but I can't go back.
Platonic friendships are nice when you meet the right people who care about friendship. I finally decided my ideas of friendship are so different and too old-fashioned aka "dated" compared to most people's nowadays, it's just not worth it. I don't think the past was "better" for people, but if you look at certain aspects of human relationships from the past you'll see they didn't let religious, political, or social issues impede relationships. That's an entirely different topic for this thread, so I won't beleaguer.
I think before you assume a romantic relationship is going to solve your problems, it's time for some introspection. This thread was a start...it didn't go well, or perhaps the way you wanted but it's telling you something. I can't tell you what it is because I don't know, but I'd suggest re-evaluating what's important to you.
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