How do you deal with people who have hit rock bottom?

[Lilac110]

Someone said in a rep comment that they hoped and prayed I could forgive my sister and "be whole with her" again.

Thanks, but no thanks. Once I cut someone out of my life, it's for good. She had been spewing her petty, juvenile sibling rivalry and jealousy at me for years, and my life is much more peaceful without her, or the malignant narcissist sibling I have not spoken to in 8 years, in it. Trust me, if I told a shrink about my family, the shrink would tell me that distance is the healthiest thing for me.

P.S. I'm an atheist. Thanks, but no need for prayers.

[AmericnGrl]

Originally Posted by Emigrations

An old friend of mine from my high school years called me up out of the blue yesterday and wanted to talk. I've seen him maybe twice in the last two years and we'd had some disputes over the years over women and his political views. We were close years ago, but have fallen out of touch.

Apparently he's been going through some hard times lately. The girlfriend left him, and he's developed epilepsy. Because of his health issues, he's unable to drive, then lost his job. He sounded suicidal.

How do you try to console someone in that situation?

Its helpful, more than you can know, just to be there, to listen, feeling alone is one of the most frightening experiences.

You don't have to have answers, just a friendly, compassionate ear. There's no magic phrase - just a little of your time to say "I'm here, talk to me".

[Utopian Slums]

First off all- disregard all of the uncaring people here who tell you to "cut him out of your life." Friends don't turn on friends because they are sick.

[MarciaMarshaMarcia]

Just be a friend. Just listen.

[Georgianbelle]

Don't just cut him off. He must have needed to reach out to someone, and he chose you. That means he trusts you for some reason...so, try to be there. Of course, you have to lead your life and continue with your routines, but five minutes here and there to listen or just let him know he is not alone won't be that hard. Also, as others have said, try to get him to go for help. Good luck. Life is hard, and he is mired in despair. Maybe your is the voice that can convince him to get the help he needs.

[HappyFarm34]

Originally Posted by Lilac110

Because they are selfish aholes like my sister.

That doesn't mean YOU have to be. Don't hold other people accountable for how others treated you, and don't be afraid to be a friend to someone else. What person A did has nothing to do with person B.

Im working on it. Its just a shame people act that way wanting someone to listen to their troubles but don''t want to hear yours.

One of the friends I used to associate with has been in and out of relationships including having a kid out of wedlock raising herself only as well as being a binge drinker. So, I thought it would be "safe" to discuss my issues after learning about hers. Instead of being a friend, she gossips about my issues to my family and didn't seem to care what I was going through.

My sister the same way. She knows my struggles in having friends and maintaining friendships. Its worse when she is drinking. She becomes self-centered and seems to forget about me when there's a social gathering.

I really try not to be an a$$ about it because of what happened with how others treated me in the past.

I have a much easier time listening to what others are going through than talking about my troubles.

[Georgianbelle]

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

To tell you why I feel that way. Almost 5years ago I went through some hard times with depression and issues I didn't know how to deal with that involved almost ended me having an overdose.

These people that I thought were like my family that I've known all my life including a few mutual friends turned their backs on me not wanting anything to do with me. What makes it worse is the same people are friends with members of my own family. It stings and burns.

Now that I'm doing much better, they still dont want anything to do with me.

So, I've learned it just better not to say anything when I'm feeling down.

So, when others are feeling that way, I just ignore it like my "old" friends did to me

I get it. Life isn't fair. People treated you live sh##, so, that gives you the right to treat someone else the same way. Nope. Be the change you want to see...remember that line? Imagine if everyone tried to do the right thing rather than the vengeful or easy thing.

[animalcrazy]

Be supportive but keep him at arms length until you are sure if you want him in your life or not. I had a very good friend that is under psychiatric care that totally went south in spite of many people trying to help her. I finally had to walk away from her. You can't help someone who has dug themselves in a deep hole but won't listen to sound advice. Life is frustrating enough without dealing with a huge idiot factor.

[HappyFarm34]

Originally Posted by Georgianbelle

I get it. Life isn't fair. People treated you live sh##, so, that gives you the right to treat someone else the same way. Nope. Be the change you want to see...remember that line? Imagine if everyone tried to do the right thing rather than the vengeful or easy thing.

Havent heard that line. yeah, get what you're saying. I think maybe they were taught not to share their problems with anyone unless they were drinking since that lowers inhibitions.

[Nonchalance]

I'm with those people urging compassion.

I'm also with those urging run and don't look back.

If the guy is really a friend down on his luck he needs help. If he's a user, he'll never stop using people.

Only someone who knows the situation AND the person can make that discernment.