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I think everyone has a few friends, if you're lucky, and the rest are acquaintances. How many of your friends would give you a kidney, or adopt your children, or take you in if your house burned down? Not many, I bet.
I have one friend: my wife. I have lots of acquaintances. I would appreciate a good man friend. I have shared my thoughts, in confidence, with men. They go on to share my thoughts with someone else. Yes, men are just as guilty of the behaviors that I hear women ascribe to women.
I'm an introvert. Here's the thing about being introverted: Because we enjoy our own company, we sometimes unwittingly give the impression that we don't need other people. I didn't realize this until someone got annoyed with me and said, "Why don't you ever let anyone help you?"
So I very carefully and very cautiously make a point of asking acquaintances for small favors. Most people want to be helpful. I don't really need to get restaurant recommendations -- I've got the web to consult -- but I ask peoples' opinions. Or ask what type of carpet I should buy for the house I'm remodeling.
You won't strike up lasting friendships with everyone but occasionally a spark catches fire and you gain a new friend.
Location: Northern Ireland and temporarily England
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Me but I think that will change next year when I goto uni. Mainly just because i'm on a gap year so not really seeing people from my age, I was in a pretty nasty year group anyway.
From my experience the adults who still have lots of friends are the clique kind.
There's a lot I could say on this topic....I have a couple of good friends who live far away and locally there is no one to share a meal with or a cup of tea or a conversation. I used to feel lonely but have learned to enjoy my own company. I used to think that folks didn't like me or that there was something wrong with me but now I know I AM fine as I am. I am a unique individual who is very creative and fun and upful. I do good things whenever I can. I care I love and would be very happy to someday meet someone who says "I like how you think"...but it hasn't happened yet and I am not holding my breath. I don't care anymore what others think. It is how I feel that counts and if thinking about others makes me feel bad then I don't think about others. I miss having a social life...as I once did but those people weren't really friends or they would still be in my life. Older and wiser. Alone in the forest with trees. A place where I feel at home and the tall standing ones are my best friends. I can talk to them and they listen. They are strong and tall and magnificent. They inspire me to be a better me...and that is what I call a true friend...one who inspires me to be me.
Yeah, I would say that I have more acquaintances than friends these days. I think this may especially be typical as you get older.
One of the many reasons for this is that I refuse to let myself be taken advantage of, talked down to, and/or criticized by so called "friends". I am also extremely opinionated, as those who have read some of my posts can probably tell - this definitely turns some people off, but I could care less.
What's especially interesting to me is that most of the threads on this "Non-Romantic Relationships" forum are people complaining about being criticized, used, and/or otherwise being taken advantage of by their so-called "friends". There are also a lot of threads where people are asking advice on how to break things off and/or distance themselves from their so-called "friends".
I read some of these posts and am reminded of the old adage, "With friends like these, who needs enemies?"
No real friends or acquaintances these days. The post college years can be difficult for that because everyone begins moving around the country for work, and once they arrive they settle down and form new relationships. I have enough hobbies and interests where I don't necessarily need other people to entertain me.
Have several very good friends: they accept me for who I am; are never judgmental; are never self-serving; and that goes both ways. We are there for each other, rain or shine.
Lonely without a boat load of friends? Never! The worse kind of feeling alone is feeling alone when you're with the wrong people.
Status:
"Just livin' day by day"
(set 25 days ago)
Location: USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katie45
Lonely without a boat load of friends? Never! The worse kind of feeling alone is feeling alone when you're with the wrong people.
Absolutely!!! Finding the right pack to fit in may take time and at the end when you do, it's worth it
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