my 11 yr old daughter being abused my stepmom (wife, boyfriend, father)

[danielle1979]

My children live with their father and his wife. i recently found out by my oldest daughter who now resides with me that her 11 yr old sister is being mentally and physically abused by their step-mom for the past couple of years. Ive never seen bruises when they came to visit but looking back i realize my daughter had been giving be signs that it was true. is it too late to call child services about this matter?

[skelaki]

I wouldn't think so but if you have a decent relationship with your Ex, perhaps you should talk to him first in a non-judgemental manner and see what he says. You are only hearing one side of the story from someone other than the 11 year old. What does the 11 year old say?

On the one hand, if abuse is truly occuring you definitely want to report it. But, if it's not you don't want to ruin people's lives and tear a family apart.

[rrah]

No talking to Ex. No questions. Your obligation as the mother of this child is to immediately call child services. Abuse doesn't suddenly stop.

[soUlwounD]

This is serious. It is very important to these childrens that they become heard, now. Please, be that hero who cared enough to make a difference Turn to officers and organizations to ask where to start.

[G-fused]

This isn't a "should I break up with my boyfriend" kind of post.

Seek the help of a professional, not a bunch of ninnies on an Internet forum.

[PAhippo]

well, from an internet ninnie: call Child Protective Services or whatever is comparable to where they live. Tell them what you told us. They're not going to break the door down and cause a scene. They'll investigate.


NOW!

[apexgds]

Have you talked to your 11 year old? I would be careful about calling CPS without knowing whether or not they will turn up something in their investigation. If they investigate and find nothing, there could be some ugly consequences. Like being kept from your daughter altogether.

[Knightly Knight]

Originally Posted by danielle1979

My children live with their father and his wife. i recently found out by my oldest daughter who now resides with me that her 11 yr old sister is being mentally and physically abused by their step-mom for the past couple of years. Ive never seen bruises when they came to visit but looking back i realize my daughter had been giving be signs that it was true. is it too late to call child services about this matter?

Stay frosty and keep your mettle about yourself. This is extremely serious, Verbal and physical abuse of any kind needs to be dealt swiftly, call Child Service this very minute, call your ex husband and let him know immediately what's going on, but before talking with him, call the step mom and tell her what was said to you by your daughter and explain exactly what your doing so she can stop now while CS takes over, She'll be in denial, she's going to get into a defensive mode, but at least the word is out.

You tell her, your daughter doesn't lie, and your going to do everything anything to protect your kids, if she goes any where's near your daughter, try to get her out of the house today. It may not be that simple but try. Abuse can effect a kid forever, your her only voice. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this but your the mother and the defender of your kids and it's time to make a stand and see what's what. Let child services take over the allegation's and determine what this is about, get the ball rolling right now. Keep your wits about you until your satisfied with the case against the step mother. Stay in your lane, stay in the fight, don't back down.


Good Luck Danielle.

[virgode]

More to this story than told by OP. Why is the question phrased, 'Is it too late to report abuse'?

Her oldest daughter returns to live with mom and suddenly the daughter left behind is abused?

[G-fused]

Originally Posted by PAhippo

well, from an internet ninnie: call Child Protective Services or whatever is comparable to where they live. Tell them what you told us. They're not going to break the door down and cause a scene. They'll investigate.


NOW!

Yours, and the other ninnies knee jerk reaction isn't helpful. The OP is someone who is seeking advice from strangers on an Internet forum about a very serious accusation that she is making. That right there makes me question her decision making. She’s at risk of taking advice from a bunch of people who know nothing, don’t care because it doesn’t affect them (but it sure is fun being outraged), and who may be wearing underwear on their heads and a hat on their genitals. This is the Internet.

It could very well be that the OP is bitter about her ex and his wife and the daughters and wants to cause trouble and needs the kick from Internet people to move forward with it. It could be that her daughter is exaggerating because she’s mad at her stepmother’s house rules. We don’t really know. So if you, as one of the ninnies wants to give helpful advice, you should tell her to consult with a professional first. Get that girl to a doctor and document things in a real record source. Have the doctor make a decision (as a mandatory reporter) on whether this rises to the level of getting CPS or others involved. If this is real and the OP wants a serious and thorough investigation she’ll get some professionals as advocates.

Everyone in the world knows that 90% of reactions on Internet forums are knee jerk outrage ones (break up with him! Cut off ties with your mother! Call CPS!). It’s like Jerry Springer on cocaine. And you’re a part of it. Instead of giving responsible advice of seeing a live professional that can assess what is going on, you join the idiotic chanting, that’s why you’re a ninny.


Now usually, I don’t care that people are ninnies. It can be amusing. But in this case (assuming it’s real), it can be dangerous. So not only are you a ninny, you’re being irresponsibly dangerous. If I were you, I’d edit my post to say “see a professional”.