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Agree about needing genders to undestand this a bit more.
However I don't see any issue with your family taking a trip together if you wish. Your parent may just want to spend time with you and your sibling, what's wrong with that? It may be one of the last times you ever do something like this, I would treasure it. Sounds like you are a tight-knit family. Maybe in the future the spouses can be included but this trip stems from a time before you were even engaged.
I don't want to judge, but your spouse sounds a little bit controlling. It's not "weird," unless there are things you are leaving out aside from sexes.
(Anecdotes: Just this past summer my sister and I took a week long trip with our dad and my child. My dad is married although my sister and I are not. My stepmom took a trip overseas with just her daughter, who was recently married, a few years ago too. Nobody thought these trips "weird" or complained, or became jealous)
Agree about needing genders to undestand this a bit more.
However I don't see any issue with your family taking a trip together if you wish. Your parent may just want to spend time with you and your sibling, what's wrong with that? It may be one of the last times you ever do something like this, I would treasure it. Sounds like you are a tight-knit family. Maybe in the future the spouses can be included but this trip stems from a time before you were even engaged.
I don't want to judge, but your spouse sounds a little bit controlling. It's not "weird," unless there are things you are leaving out aside from sexes.
(Anecdote: Just this past summer my sister and I took a week long trip with our dad and my child. My dad is married but my sister and I are not. My stepmom took a trip overseas with just her daughter, who is married, a few years ago too. Nobody thought it was "weird" or complained.)
Yeah but this isn't a new relationship for them, I assume. And they are older with their own families. I'm sure it worked for them. This op is in a new marriage, guessing first. Seems young. And it's a trip hubby wants to do very much.
I took my boys on a cross-country Amtrak trip when they were in 5th and 7th grades. I took my 5th grade daughter last summer- same deal. About a month each. Saw the historical sites, InLaws in Maine, family in Ohio, and a lot more. I love these trips. Next summer? Boys are too old and maybe my daughter will go. It's the only time in a year where I can relax and have fun. My wife has never complained or wanted to go. Maybe that's why the mail gets delivered 2x per day when I'm out of town?
I just wanted to remark how I thought it was weird you went to great lengths to use non-gendered nouns throughout the thread. Spouse, parent, sibling but not one mother, father, husband, wife, brother, sister.
I did as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SalemPhotos
My sole reason for that was that I thought going gender-neutral would be the best way to get unbiased responses.
If you want advice on a situation, than you need to be specific as possible.
Regardless, the person you married whether it be a he or a she sounds very selfish.
I'm not married or in a relationship for a reason - I'll totally admit that. But I'm sorry, I just don't think getting married means you have to do EVERYTHING with your spouse. You want to do something with your sibling and your parent. If I was your spouse, I'd just be happy that you have a close and affectionate relationship with your relatives - so many people don't.
My father visited me for 5 days recently, and we spent our days tooling around my new city and the surrounding mountains. We had such a lovely time together. If I'd had a boyfriend or husband, I wouldn't wanted to have him around for most of it. This was my time with my dad. He's 84. I'm not gonna have him in my life much longer, most likely. We dined out with a friend of mine on two separate occasions, but otherwise, it was just the two of us.
To me, it seems clingy and controlling for him to want to impose himself on what is a parent/children trip. Yeah, it sucks that it's a trip he's always wanted to take, but good lord. You can take a similar trip with him later. I feel like the mature thing for him to do would be for him to say "I'm envious of this trip and I'll miss you, but I hope you have a good time. I'm calling in this chip for our next vacation together though and I'll be planning that trip."
I'm not married or in a relationship for a reason - I'll totally admit that. But I'm sorry, I just don't think getting married means you have to do EVERYTHING with your spouse. You want to do something with your sibling and your parent. If I was your spouse, I'd just be happy that you have a close and affectionate relationship with your relatives - so many people don't.
My father visited me for 5 days recently, and we spent our days tooling around my new city and the surrounding mountains. We had such a lovely time together. If I'd had a boyfriend or husband, I wouldn't wanted to have him around for most of it. This was my time with my dad. He's 84. I'm not gonna have him in my life much longer, most likely. We dined out with a friend of mine on two separate occasions, but otherwise, it was just the two of us.
To me, it seems clingy and controlling for him to want to impose himself on what is a parent/children trip. Yeah, it sucks that it's a trip he's always wanted to take, but good lord. You can take a similar trip with him later. I feel like the mature thing for him to do would be for him to say "I'm envious of this trip and I'll miss you, but I hope you have a good time. I'm calling in this chip for our next vacation together though and I'll be planning that trip."
Or something like that.
But...maybe if you were in a serious relationship if you might understand it more. Don't get me wrong. I love your posts. I just thin, you are single by choice...if someone is single by choice, of course they feel that way. If you are in a long term committed relationship...you might see things in a different light.
I don't think how he is acting is mature. But I still understand it, if it's a relationship of young people.
I took my boys on a cross-country Amtrak trip when they were in 5th and 7th grades. I took my 5th grade daughter last summer- same deal. About a month each. Saw the historical sites, InLaws in Maine, family in Ohio, and a lot more. I love these trips. Next summer? Boys are too old and maybe my daughter will go. It's the only time in a year where I can relax and have fun. My wife has never complained or wanted to go. Maybe that's why the mail gets delivered 2x per day when I'm out of town?
Well, I think the difference is that your wife doesn't want to go. The poster's spouse does. Plus, presumably, you didn't just get married a month ago.
I do think that it's odd to plan a trip with family just one month into your marriage. If anything, you're supposed to be planning a honeymoon WITH just your spouse?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
I'm not married or in a relationship for a reason - I'll totally admit that. But I'm sorry, I just don't think getting married means you have to do EVERYTHING with your spouse. You want to do something with your sibling and your parent. If I was your spouse, I'd just be happy that you have a close and affectionate relationship with your relatives - so many people don't.
My father visited me for 5 days recently, and we spent our days tooling around my new city and the surrounding mountains. We had such a lovely time together. If I'd had a boyfriend or husband, I wouldn't wanted to have him around for most of it. This was my time with my dad. He's 84. I'm not gonna have him in my life much longer, most likely. We dined out with a friend of mine on two separate occasions, but otherwise, it was just the two of us.
To me, it seems clingy and controlling for him to want to impose himself on what is a parent/children trip. Yeah, it sucks that it's a trip he's always wanted to take, but good lord. You can take a similar trip with him later. I feel like the mature thing for him to do would be for him to say "I'm envious of this trip and I'll miss you, but I hope you have a good time. I'm calling in this chip for our next vacation together though and I'll be planning that trip."
Or something like that.
I hate to pull the, "You just don't get it" card, and there is nothing wrong with spending time with your family...but the OP just got married a month ago??? I do not think this is normal.
]But...maybe if you were in a serious relationship if you might understand it more. [/b]Don't get me wrong. I love your posts. I just thin, you are single by choice...if someone is single by choice, of course they feel that way. If you are in a long term committed relationship...you might see things in a different light.
I don't think how he is acting is mature. But I still understand it, if it's a relationship of young people.
Seriously? You are so off base on this comment it is disgusting.
Just because one is not involved with someone does not mean they lack understanding of a situation.
It is not required for a spouse to spend every moment with each other and this was a trip that was discussed BEFORE they were married. If you think you do you have more serious issues than being insecure and should seek professional help. Don't get me wrong though.......
I think it is great when Mr. CSD and his 4 Brothers spend a weekend together without all the women around. It keeps them close as Brothers.
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